Help! Just left my 5mo with CM and there was another new baby there

[skidoodle]

I've been leaving DD with this woman since she was 3.5 months old. She has seemed very happy and settled there and gets lots of attention from the CM's daughters and the other children there.

CM seems to me to mind a lot of children but I don't really mind that as it's nice for DD to have other children around.

However during the summer CM took on another baby just 2 days a week. I wasn't pleased as she had originally told me that DD would be the only baby. This baby was 9 months old or so and it was supposed to be a temporary situation to help his mother out in an emergency. But when I asked a while later about this it seemed the arrangement had been made permanent.

I wasn't pleased, but felt that since the care was good and she seemed happy that I'd let it go for the 2 days per week this was happening. I really wish I hadn't now.

Today I arrived up to leave DD and there was another baby girl there! She is to be there mornings, which I assume means every morning. DD is there full time (9-4.30).

I'm really pissed off that she took on another baby without even talking to me about it. The main reason I'm using a CM rather than nursery is that I didn't like the idea of 3 babies to one carer. But that is what she's having now plus toddlers and a couple of school age kids . All in a normal family house.

So I rang the CM association to find out if this was normal and it turns out she shouldn't have more than 1 under 1 unless they are twins or relatives. Now I'm freaking out a little bit. She mustn't even be insured. The CM association recommended I ring the area social workers about it.

I'm in a panic. Should I leave work and leave DD in this situation? I thought this woman was nice and she seemed to care about DD but how could she have taken on so many babies against the guidelines if she was worried about her safety?

Sorry, I know I'm ranting a bit but what would you do? I know I have to find new childcare but I don't know whether I should steer clear of CMs (my preferred option originally) because of this. I hated the only nursery I visited, even though it seemed nice, because I just thought it would be so much nicer for her to be looked after by one minder in a home environment with older children.

If you have ANY concerns regarding the care of your child, then I urge you to speak to her NOW.
I'd feel awful if I thought one of my 'mums' was worried about the care I was offering and didn't speak to me about it.
I'd much rather be able to put her mind at rest immediately.

PLEASE phone her and ask, and then at least you know for definate whether you have anything to worry about.

Sally x

ellideb

She specifically told me when I was first dealing with her that she wouldn't take on more than one baby at at time.

I feel that she should have told me if she changed that policy, as it did have an effect on my decision to choose her to look after DD.

When she took on the second baby I let it go although I felt she was going back on what she had originally said to me.

The third baby really gave me pause: I would never have chosen a CM who looked after two other babies.

Having heard about the possibility that she has a variation, I think I'll ask DH to speak to her about our concerns when he picks DD up this afternoon.

KatyMac I'm in NI, so not covered by Ofsted.

OK - I have no idea about the ratios in NI

Does NCMA even cover NI? I am really not sure

Who registers C/Mers - you need to contact them & ask to see her certificate tbh

NICMA is the organisation here. I contacted them first and they told me she was breaking their guidelines and to contact the area Social Workers about it. That's what made me really worried, rather than just a bit put out.

Anyway, on the basis of what you lovely ladies have said, I did ring the Social Workers just to ask about variations and it seems that the information I got from NICMA was wrong - each CM is assessed individually and told how many children/babies they can look after.

So panic over. I'm not thrilled by her taking on other babies after what she had originally said, but as long as she's within her limits it's more of an irritation than a major issue.

DH is going to talk to her later about how many children she is allowed to have just to make sure everything is as it should be.

I hope she does have a variation.

I'd be very unhappy with this, the children may as well be at a nursery for the amount of individual attention they are going to get. 3 under 1 is FAR from ideal. Can you find another child minder?

Me too, nappyaddict, me too.

I hate the idea that my judgement is so poor that I'd have left DD with someone who would take on more children than they were insured for.

TBGP - that's exactly what I said to DH re: nursery

I'll have to think about getting another childminder (presuming the variation is OK).

DD settled well with this CM and seems very happy where she is. I'm reluctant to move her from a place she's happy unless there is a good reason.

The older children (and CM's DDs and their friends) give DD lots of attention and I think she really enjoys that.

I don't know if it's the same in NI, but here all childminders must display their certificate of registration while they are minding, and this would say how many children of which age they are permitted to care for at once.

I used to be a childminer and we could'nt have more than 1 under 1 without special premission from ofsted. i would really be concerned that your childminder has 3 under 1! Ask her if she has special permission and to see her certificate staing this.

I looked after a 13 mnth old and an 8 month ol at once along with other kids and I can tell you it was hard!

The poster who said what is it do do with you? It everything to do with you.

In Northern Ireland, correct me anyone who minds there, but I have a feeling that unregistered childcare is absolutely rife, and actually accepted byt the powers that be?!

Councils regulate childminders. As has been said the normal ratio is that only 1 under child under 1 year should be looked after at any one time although older children can be cared for in accordance with the other ratios. Councils generally don't allow variations to this. The rule is there for good reasons and I would be worried about your childminders attitude to the rules governing her work if I were you.

Renaissancewoman - councils don't regulate childminders - ofsted are there for that.

Councils are required to keep a database of childminders for the Childrens Information Service so parents can access childminders in their area, they organise courses and send out regular information to childminders about things going on in the area, they have start-up grants etc. but ofsted are the overall regulators.

If a parent or somebody had a complaint the local council would pass it on to ofsted to deal with.

Concerning ratios - a year ago I had to write to ofsted as I wanted to look after two under 1's (from different families) and had to write what equipment I had, how I would cope with the emotional and physical needs of two babies etc. I heard from them two weeks later saying it was OK and my certificate still states this (even though the babies are now 18 months and 22 months).

I also mind another 12 month old but for only one day when I don't have the others.

Looking after two babies similar in age was easier for me as I had all the equipment and they could do the same activities. I've also looked after twins under 1 before so had experience.

Looking after 3 under 1's would be a different matter i.e. for getting out and about and just the whole feeding, sleeping, holding in arms routine.

It might only be 2 under 1s at a time. I don't think skidoodle knows if the 3rd baby is to be there every morning yet or just mornings when the 2nd baby won't be there.

Our nursery have a policy of 1 nanny to 2 babies - and the staff rarely change.
Perhaps you should look ar more than just one nursery as well as cm's to give you more options.
You can get crap cm'ers just as much as you can get crap nurseries imo .
I wouldn't leave my baby with the cm'er you have described above - there is only so much attention one woman can give! Jesus - what happens when she needs the loo!!!

Hi everyone,

Well it turns out she has just been given permission to have 2 babies under 1.

Two of the other children she was looking after have left. One of these was around 5 and in school and there every day, and the other was aroound 3 or so and only there on certain days.

So as far as I can tell everything is above board in terms of her not flouting guidelines. I'm still a little confused about the 3rd baby though...

DKMA - the nursery I went to see wasn't crap at all. It seemed lovely and I'm sure DD would have been well-cared for there. Going to visit it just made me realise that I wanted her to be in a family environment, especially as she was so young.

I agree with you - I wouldn't have left my baby with this CM given the current set up. When we chose her she had 2 school age children, a few toddlers but never more than 2 at a time, and DD.

But now DD is settled with this CM and I'm a little torn about whether to move her. TBH I think in the medium term I'm going to have to find childcare I'm happier with but I'm not rushing to find any other option (or quit work :s) like I was yesterday

I've been thinking a lot about what ellideb said about it being nothing to do with me.

I can see that point in some ways, but in others it seems really shortsighted to me. I know I'm not her employer, but I am akin to a client. If she changes the terms under which we do business without telling me, and it makes me unhappy with and distrustful of the service I'm receiving, then I'm obviously likely to withdraw that business.

So although I have no entitlement to know what other children she is looking after, if she had called me up and told me about the new arrangements and how she was going to manage it to minimise the impact on DD's care I probably wouldn't be considering moving my child. And given that DD is there for more hours than any other child, I suspect losing her isn't really what this CM wants.

Can she cope with 2 babies that would be my questioning, but I agree with you I wouldn't like it at all and she should have mentioned it at least.
Sit down and talk through your concerns and if you aren't happy with the answers look into getting a nanny, if you have two children they are cheaper anyway in my experience and you get the one to one care.

KatieDD

Lots of childminders cope with two babies - (my own three age 9, 12 and 15) have caused me more problems than the two babies I look after believe me).

But saying that I only look after two so if she had two or three babies and then more children to look after that's a different matter.

They might be on different days though but I'm sure the childminder knows what she is doing.

Communication from the parent is the key.

If you think she has 3 inder 1s at any one time you should speak to OFSTED immediately. If there was a fire which 2 would she grab because she sure as heck couldn't be able to grab all 3

The baby that was '9 mths old or so' 'during the Summer'.... is it possible that this baby has now had it's first birthday and so comes into the over one's bracket?

It's very common for experienced carers to be allowed a variation to care for two under ones, and/or to care for four under fives. I have had both of these variations myself.

In a fire it wouldn't be just the under ones who would need to be picked up. That's why Ofsted make it a condition of our registration that we have rigorous fire safety measures, and that we regularly practice evacuation drills.

If all a parent has is one pfb it probably does look like a near impossible task to care for three relatively young children (two under ones and one just over one) all at the same time. It's actually not difficult to do a great job of it when you are experienced and child care is your career.

ha ha gooseegg, I probably am being a bit pfb about it.

I've always really tried to bear in mind that CM is very experienced at all this and knows what she's doing far more than I do. It's good to hear that an experienced CM would not find this too much to cope with.

Have just read this through. You have every right to be upset if a CM takes on more babies that you were led to believe.
The ratios she has are the same as my DDs Nursery i.e 3:1 However at a Nursery they have backup. Even the Kitchen staff are First Aid trained and are great with the Children. The Chef is my DDs favourite person

I too wanted a CM and sometimes still want one but TBH I have a set contract that lays out exactly the care to expect and if they break it they get all sorts of trouble from the parents as a group. Strength in Numbers etc!

Now your LO is a bit older have a look again at Nurseries and other CM. As you say no real rush but you might feel better long term with a new arrangement.

correct me if im wrong but i know f no cm being able to care for 3 children under 1 ???!!! and youw ere right in Op if she has took on this other baby she WONT be insured!

i have read this with great interest

first of all CM should have said to you she was having another baby, if nothing else as general politness, I also read it that your CM had 3 babies, yours, the 9mth old and the new baby in just mornings

I dont understand why CM are not generally allowed 2 under 1's? And why they can only have 3 under 5 - as a nanny I have looked after 4 under 4 (6mth twins, toddler and 3.5)

so what is the difference why a nanny can and a CM cant?

skidoodle - you need to find out if the 3rd baby is there every morning or just mornings when the 2nd baby isn't there.