I have recently discovered that my nanny is being economical with the truth.
I lurk on another nanny forum - I went on there initially to find out about ofsted registration and I'm a forum addict anyway so I occasionally go on there and have a read.
There was a post from a nanny looking to meet other nannies in my local area - I don't even normally look in that section but it caught my eye as it was the most recently posted post. There is also a post from the same nanny about another nanny job she is doing (on a day she doesn't work for me). Maybe I should have left there and then but I haven't got that much will power and from other posts it is clear it is my nanny. She has not told me about this job. She definitely didn't have it when she started with me as she used to work in a nursery on the other two days. I knew she was looking to leave the nursery and I recently asked her how the search was going and she said she hadn't found anything yet.
I love my nanny. She is fantastic. We get on really well (I think we do anyway - I hope she feels the same). I don't understand why she hasn't told me. On the one hand, it's not really any of my business but it has upset me that she hasn't been totally straight with me.
The only reason I can think of why she hasn't told me is that she is in the process of applying for Ofsted registration (which I am paying for) and maybe she thinks that if she tells me I will ask the other family to pay a share. I wouldn't do this - I agreed to pay and I will. But I would have appreciated her being totally honest with me. We had big issues with our ex-childminder not being totally straight with us so I am quite sensitive about it. I am also a bit upset that she obviously doesn't trust me enough to not go back on what we agreed (i.e. that I would pay for the registration). I also can't help but worry that there is another reason behind it like she is unhappy with us and is testing the water or something but I've asked her fairly recently if she is happy working for us and that if she has any issues she should talk to us - I think I am approachable. She said she was enjoying it.
Apart from the issue of honesty, does this have tax implications? We agreed a gross wage in the contract so it shouldn't have cost implications for me and I assume her tax code with us hasn't changed (she has the standard tax code with us and had a BR code as the nursery) but if she'd told us offically I'd have phoned the payroll company to check.
Would you ask her about it? I worry that she will feel her space has been invaded but even though there are lots of nannies on the other site, there are a few employers too and I have found lots of useful information on there. I didn't set out to find her. Am I being over sensitive or would it upset you too?
I have thought carefully whether to post this as the same thing could happen to me (she might read it as as I know there is overlap with the sites) but actually I don't mind if she does as I have nothing but good things to say about her - I just wish she felt she could tell me.