My nanny eats nothing.....

[nannyeatsnothing]

Do you think this is strange...I have a nanny who comes to help me with my toddler 2 days a week - both to help me out but also to ensure he learns DH's language - she comes from his country. I am on maternity leave at the moment so am at home those days with the newborn.

I have NEVER seen her eat. She arrives at 7.30am - having had breakfast at home, eats nothing for lunch and leaves here at 6pm to have her dinner at home.

I know for a fact that she eats some of DS's lunch behind my back (and also eats bits and pieces from our fridge behind my back. This is despite me asking if she wants anything in a casual way every time. I just turn a blind eye TBH.

In your experience, do you think she is:

1. Simply shy - not wanting to look as if she is eating our food
2. Is wrong to take some of DS's food behind my back
3. Do you think I should say something or just leave it

In some ways I don't like the sneaky nature of it....

Thank you - both the posts above do make sense. Maybe I am worrying un-necessarily and should just let her get on with it. I have no probs with her having any of our food. She thinks I don't know that she has food anyway!

The whole subserviant thing could be right. That makes me a bit uncomfortable though as I am the kind of person who treats everyone the same whether they are my friend coming for a cup of tea or my nanny looking after my kids....

Interesting - I have just discovered that our new nanny does not eat lunch either. I would like her to eat lunch with the boys so that they get the "family" atmosphere of a meal each day, but I had not considered an eating paranoia.

I have managed to engineer a day off and a day working from home in the next fortnight so I will try and have a word with her then.

does seem very strange, maybe it is a cultral thing

maybe she is shy and doesnt want to eat infront of you, so prehaps suggest she has lunch when child is in bed, and you could be in other room so she is alone and can eat in peace?

have to say I couldnt NOT eat all day, i have breakie with kids(and mb and db if there) and eat lunch with kids

all you can do is either leave her to steal from your childs plate or fill up fridge with what she does nibble on?

Maybe its a cultural thing in that she only eats food of her culture?
My best friend's parents were like this.... it wasn't until his father was in his 70s that he decided to see what he was missing and try english (and lots of other types) of food

She sounds really nice, and it sounds like you get on well- perhaps just approach it with her if the time seems right?
Maybe one day you could ask her to prepare lunch, something she is accustomed to eating, so that she would feel able to eat with you.

agree with those who said this is either a cultural thing (and you have bent over backwards to explain that you want her to feel relaxed so not much more you can do) or she has issues with food. you dont say what nationality but i think you said she speaks your husband's language, is it a cultural issue he might know about it?
if it is some kind of mild eating disorder she will be mortified if you tackle her on it and will probably lie, so i would be inclined to steer clear of it. technically speaking if it doesnt affect the way she does her job it is not your business as an employer.
the only thing that would worry me is when your ds is older, would any issues she has with food rub off on him? so i would keep a careful eye on how she acts with him when she is feeding him or what she says to him about food. but otherwise, i think you just have to let and let live. although you are a nice caring employer for worrying about it!

I don't really like eating in front of people, I prefer to eat alone with my charge or just to wait until I'm downstairs in my flat.
I think I have a mental block that makes me think people will look at me when I'm eating as I'm a (ahem) 'larger lady' its just one of those things.

like mugglewump I've never really been in a situation that needs me to explain.
but I will stick my head in the cupboard/fridge and nibble on a biscuit or babybel sometimes not in a sneaky way, but because I'm normally too busy so I just grab and go!

I also hate people watching me cook, I cook my BF a home cooked meal every night but I prefer him to busy himself doing something else rather than hanging around my kitchen freaking me out lol

Im a nanny, I don't eat lunch at my work especially if mb/db are there. I don't really no why maybe its because i feel that the food isnt really mine even tho they said when i started i could eat lunch there. Another reason is they don't really have the same food that i eat and i wouldnt want to ask them to get anything special. I do eat the odd biscuit etc tho. If it was just she didnt eat anything i would just leave her be and let her get on with it, I for one would hate it if someone made me some food and I had already said i didnt want any. I think it is very strange that she is taking food off your childs plate tho, are you positive she is doing that? If so are your sure it isnt that she is just leaving the left overs after he has finished?

i think it is probably that
a)you don't have food that she would normally choose to have for lunch
and
b) she doesn't feel comfortable eating when she feels she should be working

Why don't you say to her that you would rather ds didn't eat alone and could she start having a snack to eat alongside him (and you be far too busy doing something else to be there). It sounds like she just picks all day. You could ask her for some suggestions and get the food in for her?

Or maybe ask her to prepare a lunch for ds and herself on the grounds of extending his cultural awareness?