Activities for nanny with toddler and new baby

[Uwila]

I have a nanny who looks after my toddler (who will be 2 yrs old in March). Last night we discussed a bit about how their days will change when number 2 comes along at the end of May. They currently go to Tumble Tots, Swimming lessons, and Jo Jingles. Nanny feels that she can not do this with a baby and a toddler and has requested that they give up activities until DD (the toddler) is old enough to go to these activities without parent/carer assistance.

I wonder if any one else has a full time nanny with similar ages. Have you found any activities that are suitable for them both to go to where nanny can actually look after two at once? Or do they stay home all day? I don't really like the idea of them staying home all day because nanny isn't very good at communicating with me what they have done. So, when they are signed up for activities at least I can keep up with what activities they are doing some of the time. I've thought that local toddler groups would be a possibility. But, I really would like DD to have a more physical activity (i.e. gymnastics).

I am also submitting a petition to work for flexible working where I can have Fridays off. So I may be able to pick up at least one activity with toddler on Fridays.

Thanks Lisalisa,
No, I'm not jewish. But, you have me thinking that in order to fulfill the nutritional requirements, perhaps I should look for a Jewish nanny next time. Although, I'm not actually considering replacing her. She has good qualities. I think she does a good job, she just isn't very good about telling me about it.

Oh well, I'm going to force the diary on her. I don't think she is going to like it very much, but it is going to be a requirement for the job. I really wish I could find some samples of a typical nanny diary so I could figure out what is a realistic level of detail. Don't suppose you have one?

And, that's a very good point the SAHMs are out and about doing chores that nannies don't do (i.e. grocery store, cleaners, etc.).

The one draw back to an older nanny is that she comes with deep routed opinions, and sometimes she disputes my instructions. I am not a wishy washy push over type of personality so I get a bit irritated when she challenges me.

One word: Nannycam!

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Nannycam? Uh... I know this is going to sound terribly naive. But, is that a hidden camera?

chicken coated raisins.

Yes, now and then she pushes a button a bit too hard and lay down the law. For example, I HATE Max and Ruby. DD is not to watch it. When I walked into the room and it was playing a couple of weeks ago, I got a bit stroppy and said in a rather unpleasant tone "PLEASE don't put MAx and Ruby on" and nanny said "It's just a cartoon, and she likes it." My voice then went up in volume and down in tone as I replied, "BUT I DON'T!" pause.... She can watch Winnie the Pooh, as I put in the DVD and handed nanny the remote to finish the job.

What's wrong with Max & Ruby? DD loves it...

I hate it. I think it is sexist. I appreciate that few people share this view with me. But, it's the only show that I forbid, so seems reasonable for her to accommodate. Besides, the point is I don't like it, I have told her not to let DD watch, and she is telling me why I'm wrong. The point is she is questioning my judgement, and that's a step too far.

If it makes you feel any better, I seem to be the only person who hates it.

s'OK - I just wondered. I hate my fair share of kids' shows too. Barney - ack!

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Uwila, I've hardly ever seen a Jewish one in my endless searches, but lots are obsessed with food especially those who've had problem eaters who aren't actually growing. It's hair-raising, I have watched my friends suffer so much, then I look at their bouncing kids who are chunkier than mine who eat until they throw up (another thread?).
my dds nursery has a a4 worksheet they had to fill in- b'fast, snak, lunch, tea; for each what was it (and I already have the menu anyway) and how much eaten ie one bowl, half, two with a smily face sometimes!. plus times they slept and for how long. times nappies changed and wet or soiled. at the bottom a few lines to fill in what activites they did (I suspected this was the same for most days for all the kids, but definitely there were some personal notes too). I kept some as mementos, could try to scan one and email if you like in a couple of days. This would be v difficult for nonnative speaker-maybe some tick boxes along these lines for nanny?

BTW the nursery deliberately takes toddlers on outings to shops, library etc so they don;t get institutionalised!

The surreptitious sigh of relief was HUGE when my dds reached 2 and the nursery no longer requires staff to do it! Though they will tell you voluntarily a bit esp if poor eater or health probs and issues.

I suggest as long as dd is normal growth rate and active (is she?), for your own sanity try to ease off on your food worries and let AP get on with it, she sounds a good'un in this department and you can trust her not to starve/poison your child. They do start to eat less around now. And you have other fish to fry!!! like those activities and new baby adjustments for DD.

How's this for an idea: give her a dictaphone (pocket voice recorder) and get her to report orally what she is doing. I can appreciate that she might not want to write things down in English, so maybe this would be more amenable to her. Just the mention of it would show her that you mean business about wanting to know what DD is getting up to.

The only time they came after ME to tell me about her day I didn't want to know, it meant she had been naughty!

Yes, majorstress, I willl endeavor to keep it to the basics. I'm really into schedules too. Am thinking of imposing Gina Ford on her for DS feeding routine. At least then I'll know when he eats. I'm not a feed on demand believer. Although, I've never ventured down the Gina Ford road so expect I'll end up modifying the schedules a bit to make them a bit more flexible.

I have children with similar age gap & am SAHM. I still did activities with my two but did have to change some things to cope with

a) the fact that lugging baby around all the time is v tiring. My baby was not happy to sit about in buggy watching so now demands to be carried around like a princess - roll on walking I say.

b) range is restricted if you don't have car and have to transport 2 - we had tandem buggy which is heavy but you can get on most buses with. When babe was v young did not trust toddler on buggy board as he tended to abscond as soon as I was occupied with baby. We do use buggy board now but toddler nearly 3 so a bit more sensible

c) had to cope with sudden jealousy induced change in behaviour from my toddler. So instead of joining in at mum & toddler group he suddenly started running round throwing things/ hitting other children etc when I was occupied with babe. I found this more stressful than just hanging out at home with the two of them.

I do think you need to play things by ear a bit as you just don't know how your first born will react to a new baby or what kind of baby you will get. I agree with those who say see how things go while you're there on mat leave.

i just wanted to say that as a nanny myself, i think the main part of a job is raising the children how the parents want! I have always done a nanny diary but the last family i worked for did not want one and wanted to exchange verbally. Personally i would have liked the diary, but it was their child and at the end of the day they payd me! In regards to activities apart from swimming i have always gone to all the toddlers activities with the new babies ( except for one week whn new baby was far too ill to be taken out) If she is a competant nanny she should know how to plan etc and cope in thses situations. Maybe in the 2 months before you go back to work you could go all 4 of you togther that way whn it is just her and the 2 children it wont be such a shock. what ever you choose. good luck x

Seems rather odd that your nanny doesnt want to carry on as normal. Seems fair enough especially with a day off. Maybe it is a confidence thing but surely as a nanny that shouldnt be a problem. She must see lots of parents with other children doing stuff.