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[NewTeacher]

Hi

I'm new to this board and need some advice. We had an au pair last year who was absolutley great, she didnt like spicy food so always made her own food not that she ate much apart from pasta, toast or cereal.

We have a new girl who maybe skinny as a rake but eats like she's not seen food before!

How much is too much? For example I made the kids tea yday which was chicken burgers and rolls and there were some left over so she asked if she could have her dinner with them (at 6.30) I said no problem so she ate the last 3 burgers and 2 rolls. When it came to me preparing dinner as she had eaten I dint cook for her and made chops and potatoes for me and DH (there were 5, two for me and 3 for him). AP came into kitchen at 8pm and helped herself to the largest chop and some pots so now there wasnt enough for DH who had to have cereal after as he was still hungry! When she's already eaten why the need to eat again within 2 hours?

NewTeacher - IME all our au pairs have taken a while to settle with their eating habits, and the ones who have been here for longer than just a school holiday stay have all put on weight to begin with through comfort eating.

I think homesickness, the anxiety of a totally new cultural and physical environment and an initial lack of routine contribute.

One of my ex au pairs did however have an eating disorder which explained her always being ravenously hungry and able to get through a loaf of bread or a packet of cereal a day. She was constantly either hungry or tired.

Obviously this may not be the case with your au pair, but it's worth bearing in mind and watching out for subtle signs.

Well, I hate to think the worst, but if I had a young girl who was "skinny as a rake" and could eat like you describe, I'd be looking for blue tinted teeth or other signs of bulemia (sp?). I wouldn't jump to conclusions, but I'd keep my eye out for things like if she disappears off to the toilet after every meal.

I would definitely set out some meal planning. Ask her to let you know in the morning whether she will eat with you or the kids, and ask her to add any food she would like for the week for herself to the grocery list.

I expect our nanny to live by the same budget conciousness that I live by. I don't buy everything she asks for but try to accommodate for the most part. I sometimes cook from scratch rather than buying conveninece food and I expect that she can sometimes do the same.

Thankyou ladies for all your responses.

I spoke with the au pair and we discussed that certain foods (in the fridge) were for the main meal and not for lunch which she was fine with. That certain fruits were for the kids and no one else.

She eats with us normally having said that we dont actually ever sit at the table and eat. She normally eats her dinner whan I have mine at about 7pm. DH comes in late so just heats his up. AP has the option to eat whenever she wants.

AP is from the Czech Republic, when I sais snacky stuff I didnt mean biscuits/crisps (I dont actually keep those in the house trying to be healthy!) I meant fruit, sandwiches, pasta, rice, soup etc.

I think because its gone from one extreme to the other its just about getting used to! The last au pair lived off pasta, tuna, bread and cereal!

I dont think she is bulimic I am at home all the time at the mo and would have heard her being sick.

Hopefully its all sorted and yes you are right its best to discuss this with AP rather than letting it fester and build up into resentment.

I think the main issue is just the economy at the moment everything is so expensive and salaries are not going up at the same rate so we are feeling the pinch!

Cheers all.