advice needed - costs of a nanny, can i afford one?

[cakefiend]

i'm returning to part-time work soon and am looking for childcare for 1yo baby. i have been unable to get a personal recommendation of a good CM in my area and am a bit uncomfortable going with a complete stranger from the council's list. but i have been recommended a nanny, and might also look at a nanny share, which i hadn't really considered before because of the cost. so i'm trying to do a budget and am finding it difficult to estimate the costs in addition to a nanny's daily rate.
basically - i can, at a stretch, afford to pay the nanny's net pay plus tax and insurance in a share, but that's all i can afford. what i am worried about is the liability of being her employer - ie potentially having to pay sick or even maternity pay. it really pains me to ask this, as i do not want to exploit anyone, but i need to know if it really is only the seriously rich who take on nannies, ie people wih perhaps £10k aside in case the nanny does stop work and then a second nanny has to be hired while the first is on sick/maternity leave?? what happens in this situation? if it happened to us i could not afford to pay and would literally have to sell the house... does this mean i can't really afford to hire a nanny? apologies for cross posting; this message also added to nanny share board.

I found the opposite. We used a nursery when we just had one and it was a total nightmare. My child picked up absolutely everything going including a prolonged bout of conjunctivitis when the nursery refused to have her back for 10 days. Was a total nightmare. After she went back from that, she got rotavirus and was off for 2 weeks. We were unlucky but it was awful for her and a nightmare for us (she was only 4 months too!).

I've never been so relieved as when we finally got a nanny. Just the peace of mind and ease of it.

Every childcare situation has its pros and cons - you need to weigh up what's important for you. It's not an easy decision and you may find you end up doing a bit of trial and error. If you plump for the nursery, just remember to read the terms and conditions for how much you have to pay and how much notice you need to give should you want to pull your child out and look for something else.

Oi et al
I think we've been a bit unlucky with nannies to be honest. The sickness is undoubtedly a big problem with the nursery. But our nannies, while lovely (well 2 out of 3) as individuals ended up having a variety of issues which caused us a great deal of hassel and stress. Building everything in (performance issues (Nanny 1), abrupt departures, sick leave, personal issues, plus paying a cost premium with tax and NI) it's perhaps a marginal call but still it was easier going with Newpark with one child. I'm due to go back to work in Feb, and with two and DC1s schedule, I can't see how we are going to avoid a nanny. But I am not looking fwd to being an employer again.

Agree about reading the terms and conditions/contracts super carefully, but as a few threads on here have highlighted recently, this is true for whatever childcare situation you have.

yes I agree Harriet. Every situation has its pros and cons. I think we've been lucky with our nannies but also, as time goes on, you become a bit more wily about these things!

Harrietthespy, did you consider the leapfrog nursery, which is also in the same area (liverpool street / moorgate)? If so, what made you choose newpark? I'll visit the latter and see what its like. I visited leapfrog a few weeks ago and wasn't so pleased. The place looked great, but carers seemed less experienced. Also i felt hygeine was an issue as everyone was going in with shoes inside the baby rooms (not sure how common that is at other places).

My commute is only 30 minutes, while I can go to liverpool street too (which has 1 flight of steps only), its shorter for me to get to moorgate and there are plenty of stairs there which is worrying me. Also on the off chance that i do change my job, i'll have to uproot ds.

Anyway keeping all options open at the moments as i've got till March 09.

LD - a bit shocked you don't feed your nanny!

Hi cakefiend my names michelle an i am a registered childminder i understand what u are saying about strangers thats why your thinking of a nanny but children soon get used to there carer after a period of time and i offer in my service a settleing in period where you can bring your child for a couple of hours a day for as often as you like before the child is actually left with me so they will be fine when you come to leave them. I hope you dont mind me asking but where abouts are you from?

i'm north london.

i've seen about 5 CMs, and i did like a couple of them. it's just such a big thing to me.... and i consider myself a generally poor judge of character, my first impressions of people are often wrong (my friends and partner tease me about this), so i'm just not confident enough after the one meeting and visit...

First time
Hmmm...I don't know that Leapfrog. The one which was closer to me (near Smithfields) closed in the past year. That one was all underground (!!!) so avoided it. I think a friend used the Leapfrog you are talking about and liked it but ended up with a nanny due to her work schedule F/T, 7 am start, loads of travel.

From Moorgate you will be very close to Newpark.

Cake
Hmm... what about bringing your partner or a friend along with you to interview?

The nursery I used was Newpark Childcare in Highbury. I had the same exerience as Oi - DD was sick more often than not and it was a complete nightmare as I don't have anyone to fall back upon. Getting a nanny was a huge relief and changed my life completely, but I realise it's an expensive option, even compared to a very expensive nursery.

On your dcs picking up multiple bugs in a nursery, that is to be expected as you have a large number of children together. It used to piss me off hugely that my ds would get ill, be kept off, to go back only to be reinfected or get something else.

What I will say, having the experience of 2 dcs in ft nursery, is that this stage does not last forever. After 6 months to 1 year, it all calms down and your dcs' immunity is updated. Now, ds is hardly ever ill.

Dd has started school and she has been poorly only 3 times, each time for half a day. She would kick the bug overnight. Other children seem to be ill every other week over days.

So it is pain now or pain later.

My DD is now also never (well, knock wood) sick as well.

I agree that when it's going well with the nanny or work is completely crazy it's a great option. But for example when our nanny got ill, one day we had childcare, the next we didn't, end of story.

It is obviously possible to find solutions when this stuff comes up, and we did, but I guess my point is that with a nursery you anticipate some inconvenience, whether it's sickness or whatever. But with a nanny what I didn't quite expect was that over time there would be as much inconvenience - only a different kind.