To get an aupair or not, that is the question!!! What is it really like having an aupair?

[Marshmellow]

hi all, i have 3 small children and no grandparents around to offer any support. My husband works long hours and although i cope very well, i do sometimes think that to have an aupair and to be able to 'pop out' occasionally must be lovely. Is it?
My dh and i never get to spend any time together as, like i said, we have no family to come and babysit or help us with the children when we want to decorate, garden etc for example. What is the real cost of having an aupair? What is it really like having an extra person in the house all the time? We have a 4 bed house so we'd need to put 2 of the children in together but that wouldnt be a problem but it wouldn't be a massive mansion with oodles of space, does that matter? Do people frown upon you for having an aupair and not working yourself? What does your aupair do? Sorry for all the questions!!!

no hoovering? wow

We could not possibly survive on hoovering and cleaning only twice a week!

I think the house could take a full clean 3x a day! (it doesn't get it though).

I'm surprised that your house needs more than 8 hours of cleaning a week. Our house is large and it survives on that. It's quite clean too!

it would certainly be less than once a month if it was left to me to do.

Another question for those already with AP's - do you agree anything in writing at te begining of the AP's stay, or is it more informal than that?

We do that, via email, during the negotiation stage before they arrive.

squeaky - did you devise your own agreement or can you but a template? Any advice? Thanks

No template.

It is just a list of duties and expectations.

I have had 2 au pairs and employed both of them through an agency. My au pair works 25 hours a week, 3 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon although this will change a little after the summer. She does a combination of childcare (giving children breakfast, playing with and looking after them for a couple of hours at a time) and cleaning. She gives the house a good dust and hoover twice a week and this includes cleaning the bathrooms. She also does the childrens washing and changes their beds once a week. I do our washing and making and changing beds. She does most of the ironing but I tend to share it with her.

I have run this past the agents I use and they are all in agreement that this is fine for an aupair. I do not ask her to clean out cupboards, clean silver or do major spring cleaning, I either do this myself or get my old cleaner to come in for a one off clean.

As my husband works very long hours she does not eat with us but I do cook for her most evenings and she heats it up at lunchtime or else makes herself some pasta or eggs.

She babysits 2 nights a week and is out all other nights as she has made lots of friends in the area. We gave her an oyster card with £10 on it, a PAYG mobile with £20 and she has a TV, freeview and DVD player in her room which is ideal as she watches seriously crap TV. She is also welcome to use our broadband and laptop in her free time.

I think your aupair job is very classic, danny.

Dannyb
Do you mind saying which agency.

to me it also sounds like as one of the typical aupair jobs

We have had many au pairs over the years and they work pretty much identically to dannyb's. We have been paying for English lessons recently, but to me they seem cheap at £50 for a whole term (10 weeks), 1 x 2 and a half hour lesson/week. I figure that it's in our interest for them to speak & understand English better.