I've got some fairly big ishoos with my CM, but it's all a bit awkward - please help!

[bohemianbint]

I suppose it's not the biggest of deals at the moment as DS (23 months) only goes 3 hours a week, mostly, although a couple of weeks ago he went for 2 days, so it's all a bit random.

The problems are:

• the tv is on ALL THE TIME in the background. Even on nice days I'm not sure they even get into the garden.

• they never go out and do anything. In fact am not sure if they do anything when they stay in, I get the impression the kids play with toys or watch tv, there's no reading or activities or anything as far as I know.

• DS is fed in a pushchair in the kitchen and I now find out he sleeps in the pushchair as well. Or doesn't, as it turns out. He was always put down in a seperate room in a cot as he's a bit of a nightmare to settle and will only ever sleep if there's nothing else going on. I also wasn't told that this had changed and had been takign round blankets and his light show thing, thinking that he used them in his cot.

And finally, (and this is the latest thing that has really made me cringe) when we went round last week, it was raining, and DS ran off up the garden. I went after him to take him in and nearly trod in a huge pile of dog crap. Now, I understand that she would no doubt have cleaned it up if the weather was nice and the kids were able to play outside, but it makes me cringe thinking there's probably dog shit residue all over the garden.

The only reason I haven't stopped him going is that she's absolutely lovely, really flexible (will look after DS at the drop of a hat) and DS has been going for about a year and really likes her. As I say, he's not going for long periods, on the whole, so am loathe to shake things up, especially as am due to have another baby any time and don't want to unsettle DS up any more than necessary. When I've asked her about what they do or expressed concern about all the tv she has assured me that it isn't on all the time, and sometimes they just listen to music - but I've been there at all different hours of the day and have never seen the tv off, or seen them drawing, or doing anything.

Am I being too precious about this, or should we look for alternatives? I just worry about the quality of the care he's getting; we are paying for it and I feel a bit shortchanged if all he does is watch tv!

I know it's only for 3 hours, but I'm still paying for a service, which doesn't seem all that great!

jillyj - what's eyf?

have a look for someone else then make your decision...
is she registered?
how much are you paying her?
are there any other children there when your ds is there?
he is 2, being spoon fed in a pushchair!?! This really isn't acceptable imho.

The TV bit wouldn't bother me if he is only there 3 hours/week.

the sleep and no table would bug me - so maybe change the time your ds goes - if it is only for 3 hrs - assume he goes maybe 12 - 3?

so change to 9 - 12 - and then he can have lunch and sleep at yours

i am not a great tv fan during the day (but watch all kind of crap at night) but normally have radio on or kiddi music channel through sky

but in the long run, IF it is ONLY normally 3hrs, then bite your tonuge - when baby comes,you will appreicate ds1 going to a stable face and giving you a few hours with baby/to sleep

wether for 3 hours or 3 days you are not happy!

I'm a childminder and am shocked tbh! no table, sleep in pushchair, eat in pushchair, tv on all the time don't get me wrong my does go on but at certain points of the day, ie: around 4.30pm IF everyonje has tried to help tidy up, we'll all snuggle and watch mickey mouse

No, it's not stimulating him enough nor particularly homey either from the sounds of it.

Find another CM or consider a nursery.

I think she sounds dreadful. None of these things would be bad if she was a friend or neighbour helping you out now and again, but you're paying for this. She's supposed to be a professional, working to regulations and standards.
I wouldn't be happy with this at all.Find a childminder that actually does something for her pay, rather than just watching over the children.
(I'm a cm too)

Is this cm registered?? I need to know!

as heated said it does nor even sound homely!

How can she be minding and not have a table!! Can she not do him a little picnic lunch on a blanket or something? Why sit him in his buggy and spoon feed him!!!!!

You need to be happy with the care - regardless of how long he goes and it doesn't sound like you are.

also a cm btw

Not acceptable - for 3 hours or 33 hours. Sounds like a pretty crappy set-up and you are obviously bothered about it, so go with your guts and find an alternative.

(and am I the only poster who thinks the comment about 'at least he's indoors and safe rather than outside and in danger from cars' comment is rather alarmist and OTT?)

My ds could find danger in a padded cell moomin, so I imediately thought of him and grinned when I read that! Children belong outdoors in my opinion, otherwise they get like caged tigers!

moomin i thought the same!

though i know of some parents who choose day nursery over CMer, for this very reason ....

Well I can only speak from my owm experience: I've used nurseries and one CM and the CM wins hands down every time - she's an absolute gem who takes real pride in her job and the care she gives. She got an 'Outstanding' Ofsted last year. She would be horrified if she read these remarks about your CM: her standards are very high, she loves the job and all the children in her care are sooo happy. dd1 and dd2 adore her.

I might be overreacting a touch, but I'd run for the hills!!!!

If this was his granny watching him for a few hours a week I wouldn't be bothered, but for a registered childminder to be doing so little I would be looking elsewhere.

I had a similar experience with our first CM - she 'minded' DD1 but did nothing else. I made the decision to send her to nursery instead at the age of 2 and she just blossomed, her speech took off, she was having so much more fun and getting a lot more exercise and fresh air. (DD that is, not the CM!)

She is providing a rubbish service imo... I am surprised that a childminder does not have proper facilities, activities and routine etc....?

Your kid (and you!) deserve better and there are MANY excellent childminders out there!

Thanks for all the feedback.

Apparently she is registered!

DS was 12 months when he started going, and I thought at that age the one to one attention and quieter (than a nursery) setting would be better for him. However, a year on I'm thinking he'd probably really benefit from going to a nursery or something like that, even just one day a week, so that he could mix with more kids (CM doesn't have many, oddly enough!) and actually do stuff like painting, making things, playing out, etc etc.

Food for thought. I might wait until the dust settles after this baby, keep it to 3 hours in the meantime, and look into options.

apart from the lack of table and then no sleep issue if you are happy with rest of care then agree not worth rocking the boat at the moment and wait till baby is born

what time does your ds go there - can you change the time like i suggested and maybe go in the mornings and then you can pick him up, have lunch at yours on a table and then have a sleep in his bed at home

imananny - funnily enough, what you suggested is exactly what happens; he does go from 9-12 unless he ends up having to go for the whole day, for whatever reason.

At our ICP (childcare traingin) they said that lots of childminders don't have tables because as a familly they usually eat off their laps .
But that CM should have a highchair at least, lots of people in other cultures eat sitting on the floor so a table is not a high priority.

Ripeberry - I think they do all just have teas on knees all the time. I do have a booster seat, which is supposed to attach to a chair, but it has a tray on it, so I might see if I can send that. It would mean he'd have to eat with his legs straight out on the floor but it's not the end of the world I suppose, and at least he would then have a tray to rest his food on and be able to feed himself...

Ripeberry - just because in other cultures it is considered within the realms of civilised behaviour not to eat off a table does not make it OK not to eat off a table in our culture.

but what about a table for general activities?

• drawing, play doh, etc... where can any of the children do that?

They don't do any of that.

i am cm cant believe she has no tables for activities,where do they do playdough,painting,sticking drawing,cooking.i do have tv on sometimes but normally to wind the kids down before lunch or tea.does she ever do anything with him!!!!to be honest we did not do any activities today but walked to shops to buy water guns to have water fight in garden,played on trampoline,read books (my 9yr dd read 8 books to them)oh and played football .only work 9-3.

sorry we have small table inside and out for activities or eating,also have highchair and booster seat with tray ,she could pick all these things up cheaply

apparently registered ?! did you not see her paperwork before signing the contract?!

TBH i am really wondering why you put your child in her care in the first place!?

apart from her flexibility, what exactly is she offering you / your child?!

yes its only 3 hrs he is there, but if she doesnt have activities / books etc he must still do the same if he is there all day ? ( ie watch tv!)

i would look for somewhere else for definite

xx