DD has been with her childminder for about 6 months. Everything has been ok so far except for the fact that when DD mentioned we are going to Egypt on our holidays the CM told her she wouldn't want to go herself because people bomb other people in Egypt. DD wasn't scared and I wasn't sure if she had the wrong end of the stick so I left it. DD is leaving her care in a couple of weeks anyway as our circumstances have changed so again I didn't want to rock the boat when I knew the end was in sight
CM was ill last week for a few days and I had to go to school to pick DD up. At the school she goes to if you arrive early you wait in the playground until the doors are open. The kids usually play while the adults chat. Whilst I was at the school a couple of the other mums said they were a bit concerned that the CM seems too strict with DD and does not allow her to play, but makes her stay by her. One of them actually said she really feels for my DD as she always looks so sad she is not allowed to play with her friends. I asked DD and she said she is allowed to play with some of the kids but not others.
I decided to speak to the cm about this and when I did she got really defensive saying she doesn't like one of DD's friends as in her eyes she is mean to her own DD. Tbh I have never seen a mean side to this child, and I have known her for about 5 years now. I said that if she had a problem with this child she should bring it up with the childs mum and not make my DD suffer, and that if DD wants to play she should be allowed to in a safe environment. The cm then burst into tears and shouts at me that I have ruined her day and that she is "so mad at me" for ruining it and making her feel like she is bad at her job and that if I was that bothered then I should take DD to school myself. I explained that I have to work which is why she minds DD and that if there is a problem we should both be able to be open and honest. I then mentioned the Egypt thing and she said "Well thats what happens" and could not understand why I felt that she could have scared DD unecessarily and spoilt her holiday.
She seems to have forgotten about it now but today I went into a local shop near the cm's house and near to my old house that I have not been in for at least a year. The first thing the lady in the shops says to me is "Oh, I hear DD1 is not going to be with cm anymore soon" with a cold hard stare as if I have done something terrible, which now makes me think that she has been slating me to anyone who will listen for what I said.
Was I really in the wrong for saying something? I think this cm has been incredibly unprofessional and I would like some input if possible.