Done it.
She was very tearful, and I feel like Cruella.
However, what happened today reinforced my decision. She came in this morning, and I sat her down and said 'this is what's happening today. It's my niece's birthday, and you're going to take them to the party in a taxi this afternoon.' I was working.
She nodded and said yes, fine.
We later had a discussion, and I said there was going to be Lithuainian kids at the party - near from where she comes from. She seemed interested.
When the time got closer, I noted she still had her slippers on. When I asked if she was going to change she said no, she was more comfortable like this.
The taxi arrived, and I said 'off you go,' and she looked gobsmacked,
"Me? Go to the party?" She hadn't taken it in at all. I was firm so she couldn't wriggle out of it.
It was in a blinkin taxi, to a local address. My sister drove her back.
Anyway, I couldn't get much work done becaue I was so stressed.
She came back, I sat her down and explained my reasons (initial loss of trust cos of smoking, her over-reliance on internet, and reluctance to interact), telling her she was absolutely lovely (she is sweet in many ways), but I just didn't feel she was ready to be an au pair until her confidence/ understanding of English improved. I also said that although she was with us in body, she wasn't in spirit, as she's so lovesick over her internet boyfriend - who she has never met.
What i realise now is she wasn't really interested in becoming an au pair to meet new people, get experience in childcare or broaden her experience. She just wants to go to China to meet this guy. I do worry for her. She's very naive.
Obviously I'm paying her for this week, and I'm going to give her an extra £50, and pay for her travel to her cousins.
She was quite critical of my nanny, who she said wasn;'t helpful enough. Thing is, my nanny is 30, and doesn't really want to do childcare, so has no reason to be horrid to her.
Although au pair spent at least 2 hours a day on skype and net, she said it wasn't enough. She as upset at having no TV in her room - but wasn't interested in going in the living room and watching TV with my mum and nanny.
Oh dear. I do feel for her. I'm a bit dippy myself, I would have found going away very tough. The difference is, even at 20 I was self-aware enough to realise I would have made a crap au pair and didn't attempt it.
Have written her a nice reference regarding her cleaning. Naturally I didn't mention childcare bit.
She didn't want my husband to give her a lift, and has walked to my mums. Hope she'll be OK ...