cm club - i'm really struggling with one of my charges

[eleanorsmum]

Mindee is 16mths, doesn't have any words at all. seems to be frustrated about getting me to understand. he hits, he pulls hair, he pushes, he smacks. i remove him from play whne he does and he has got better. but yesterday he whacked me round the head with a toy becasue he took it off another so ia sked him for it back and he just smakced it into my head, frightened me as it was so hard on my temple, he could have knocked me out. grandma collected him and i told her and she was very sweet but says they don't know how to stop him either. i feel like crying at the mo, just don't know how to deal with him. will talk to mum at drop off but what can i do? i am pretty sure he will get the idea but he frightens the other lo i look after. dd isn't too bothered as she can tell me whats happening and i can deal with it.

you def need to sit down with the parents EM..i would also fill an incident report in on what he did, so she can see it is recorded and unnaceptable, i really feel for you, but imagine what damage it could have caused if it had been one of the little children he clouted with it!..it has to stop, gran saying they dont know what to do isnt going to help, he sounds like he needs ground rules and consistnecy from home which he doesnt sound like he's getting..he is still small, but it cant escalate and they MUSt work with you to sort this out..hope you can chance to speak to them today?.x

you poor thing, it is scary if you come close to getting knocked out, I once went very faint and panicked as I realised the implications of me on my own with kids whilst unconcious on the floor!

Like pc says it could have been another child. I do think all 1 yr olds go through the hitting / pushing stage even if only briefly but it's no consolation to the person on the receiving end.

You definately need a sit down chat with parent(s), Is mindee full time or PT?

I would keep on removing him from play as you are, and maybe help him along with his talking. {hugs}

Oh goodness that 's not good or nice at all for you EM. You are dealing with it best you can, but as the others have said, you really need to talk to the parents and come up with a consistant stratagy that they will use at home too.
I had one mindee who took to scratching and hitting my dd. Fortunately it did not last long and mindee was put in time out (but could see the others playing so knew what they were missing) and it soon stopped.
Hopefully you will get something sorted soon as that sounds particularly bad in your case.

Hiya, maybe I am missing something here, but is this LO 16 months old and unable to speak at all?

I wonder if this bad behaviour is frustration related and possibly the LO has some communicative problem? Autism/Aspergers etc?

xx

The smacking etc is unacceptable but many 16 month olds don't have any speech at all.

I doubt very much he has autism just because he can't speak at 16 months.

Lol at naveyeyelash - MOST 16 month olds don't have speech! To wonder if it is autism/aspergers based on no speech and hitting makes me {shock]

Some babies say there 1st words before a year old and will be making 2 or 3 word sentences at 16 months (yes, I know there is the occasional genius out there that is better than that) and a lot of babies will say the 1st words after that age.

should be !!!

Sorry Sidge I did not mean to suggest that this little boy had Autism, I used ETC to indicate a variety of other problems which the child may be experiencing which may in turn explain his negative behaviour. For example, brain/CNS development, hearing impairment, oral/motor development, psychical/psychological/social/phsyiological
/intellectual development and so on.

I think guidelines suggest that 18 months is the age where you should take further action if a LO still has no words but then at the same time more and more studies are suggesting that such impairments are not recognised until quite late (mostly American studies I might add - not trying to worry people without good reaosn!) so maybe I was a bit hasty with my suggestion?

What I am trying to say is simply that bad behaviour doesn't necessarily equate to bad child and there might be some external factors involved? But I can appreciate that it is not nice to bashed on the head / be fearful of other children's safety and I am sympathetic to that - very hard to read emotion when writing on the net and I find that sometimes I do not take the time to explain myself fully! Sorry!!

xx

nbee84, in my experience most children have said at least one word by 16 months. Hence me asking, "is this LO 16 months old and unable to speak at all?"

I am assuming the OP means literally no words.

hi navy, yup not one word. he tries and bables mamamam on the odd occasion. have mention it to mum who isn't worried (yet!) as she didn't tlak till she was 2 accroding to her mum. he does seem to have a mucus issue too. sounds like he's very chesty all the time, worse after eating. If it was my own child i'd be getting allergy tests done but mum again not really worried. i don't know anything about aspergers or autism but will do some reading up so i can be aware of things to look at in the future. in the meantime i'm going to keep on giving him the best care i know how and buying a crash helmet bless him!

Well if he seems worse after eating food that doesn't seem right to me. Does it seem to be any food in particular or all food. Might be something like acid reflux / post nasal drip / allergies? Out of curiosity do his parents smoke?

Most parents are always worried about their children's coughs and colds etc I wonder why his parents have not taken him to the Drs? Have you mentioned that he seems worse after eating food? How very peculiar - maybe they are a bit worn out themselves?

I'm sure you are doing a great job with him - and maybe be a crash helmet would help; get the kids some boxing gloves to even it up a bit! hehe xxx

yup have mention it all to mum and dr has said its not a chest ifection but gave no other explainantion they are always great if he's ill but he doesn't appear ill with this snuffle. i think his dad smokes but only outside. he's been alot better behaviour wise today except this morn while mum was still here and he took a new music button book of dd so she made him share with her (which is exactly what i'd have done) so it seems like she has standards i do and was quite firm with him!

have got birth mindees asleep now and dd and i have just iced bisuits tog! planned for all but both very tired so am making the most of it!

Ah well if the Dr says there is nothing wrong with him maybe he is just a little menace!