I have had so many changes of nanny in the last 6 months - we hvae now hired a really nice nanny - help me keep her!!!

[lisalisa]

Sometimes I think we must be every nanny's nightmare as the last 6 months we have had bad run after bad run ( and before the bad run had a great nanny for over a year but were eventually duped very badly by her) .

We have now found a lovely nanny - a girl from Slovakia aged 26 who is sweet and loving to my nearly 3 yr old ds2 and very calm and efficient wiht older children.

Her duties are child related only although she does have to clean the kitchen ( wiht the assistance of me and the kids) twice per day ( it is a v large kitchen whcih gets spectacularly messy with 5 kids and 3 adults in it!) and keep family wash going ( no ironing though).

Some tips for making sure everything stays sweet please but ensuring she does'nt walk all over me/take advantage ( feeling sore from my past experience where last nanny who lasted just under 2 months ripped us off good and proper)

What is a cheese preserver?

here

agree if something pisses you off about the nanny, then please do say it, we are not mind readers, just as if something annoys me about a db/mb then i will mention it

LOL at cheese statement

and as someone said a word of thanks, not every day, but just a thnak you sometimes goes a LONG way, as does a bunch of flowers (bottle of wine) or an early finish, if parents at home - make the most of seeing your children, and give them a bath etc

no nanny is 100% perfect, but neither are employers

From my viewpoint as a nanny to lots (5 or 6) families, get to know her really well, lay down the house rules, talk to her, and then let her get on with it. She knows her job and won't do it well with you peering over her shoulder all the time - but if you are worried, talk to her about it!

I have had a great relationship with my last family and now I am an "honorary" big sister, going on holidays, days out etc. If you can integreate her into your family life, she'll feel comfortable and so will you.

Agree with the DC rule!! I go M-A-D if the last one's gone...

I like the cheese preserver. Going to buy one.

BTW, the unwrapped cheese is not a big deal. Some things really are not worth mentioning. To be perfectly honest the only thing that really disappoints me in a big way about my nanny is her pending departutre.

imananny - I give them a bath every night!!

Starting to rethink about this nanny.......what is wrong with me and why doesn't it work out?

Came home to dirty kitchne with breakfast dishes still partly unwashed.

Nanny said she didn't have time as I'd booked the taxi to tkaer her to play activity too early so did'nt have time to do breakfast dishes ( I came home at 12.00pm). Then after she gave children bath ( for gthe first time) she left the plug in and dirty water in teh bath . AFter I politely reminded her to remove plug she then didn't wash water out and left soap scum at the bottom.

We had a "small chat" as dh feels she's just too "delicate" for want of a beter word - the onions thing and fact that she takes absolutely ages to wash one glass. She feels "its all too mch for her in teh monrngs and afternoons/". I was actually shocked. Too much in the af=ternoons? I am back in teh afternoons and give them dinner myself at the moment whilst she literally potters pouring a few cups of water for the kids. I do all the k=etchup squeezing , food coaxing for younger ones ( who are tired after school) and reminders to throw leftovers and put plates in sink and then wash hands etc.

too much in the monrings? Aga in I make the packed lunches before she is up and al she has to do is make breakfast. I even lay out clothes the night before on thier beds so she just has to supervise dressing and make sure they brush teeth.

I said to her there and then that she was seeing the vbery best and easy part as it would not get any easier than this. At th emoment eldest dd is away and she can cause spectacular fights with yhounger siblings and sometimes when kids have had late nights they can be pretty foul. If she can't deal with pleaseant easy mornings such as she has been having with the kids all on their literlly best behaviour how is she going to shape up when the going gets rough( literally!).

When she saw that i was quite firm in that clearing kitchne after breakfasta nd dinner were dueites I expected performed she did change her tune a bit and said that the daytimes were lovely and that she had managed well so far it was just today.
We discusse dher having flexibility wit hh the schedule of activities for my youngest who is the only one at hme wit hhger all day and she thought that was a good idea. I suggested she booked cabs, planned days more. I even heard myself suggesting that the odd day in the house woueln't be so bad if she really couldn't manage to do kitchen and put teh odd wash on before 10.30am ish ( ds sleeps at 11.30 so wouldn't be worth going out in the morning after that time).

Watch this space............

Jeez, Lisa, I hope you only have to pay her half a salary since she is only doing half the nanny job.

My nanny does the the nath time, organised three meals a day, cooks them and cleans up after them. She does their laundry (not ours) and lays out the outfits for the kids the night before (or digs them out herself in the morning).

The only thing I do is buy the groceries (which is how I control the bulk of what they eat).

I get myself ready in the morning, play with the kids for a while, and then I leave. I don't even get the kids dressed usually. Let alone whip up some spag bol on my way out the door. How do you do it? I am always amazed by the things you achieve in your days, Lisa.

wow lisa - you seem to do a lot and you have a useless/lazy nanny

i too have managed to cook spag bol/fish pie etc before morning school run, as on a monday we are sometimes out from 8.30 - 4.45 and then with homework/school clubs etc, it is nice to have tea done, and in oven on pre cook,so all ready when in the door, and house smells lovely

think you need to deligate at bit more to your nanny, you are paying her a wage to look after your children and do childcare duties

15mins to chop/peel an onion and not managing to clear up breakie stuff? how hard is it to wash up a few dishes/stack in dw etc

am very intrigued what you paid your last nanny and nice that you bath your children, my mb baths ours as she wants to hear about their day etc, but if her train is late i will do it happily

what bugs me (and have to say my mb at moment doesnt do this) but if the parents come home from work early, they then wander round the house like lost souls, annoying and disrupting the nannies routine and still make the nanny stay till her finishing time

do these parents not want to spend time with their kids - why come home early?

lisa - i hope she bucks her ideas up bdq!!

I was going to post something that used to pee me off when I was a nanny but I see we've moved on...

Anyway, what really used to bug me when I was a nanny was that I got on really well with my employer, we were mates really (ok, not everyone wants this I realise). But as soon as other mothers came into the house her attitude changed. She loved to be seen to be ordering her 'staff' around.

I guess what I'm saying is don't be two faced (not suggesting you are). Treat fairly and nicely at all times. It really helps with morale.

was for the nanny btw not you!

lisalisa, sounds like she has no clue about nannying.

When I was 21 I had worked as an au pair abroad and as a Mother's Help before taking my first live in nanny job. The baby was 12 weeks old and the mother didn't work. After being there a few weeks they went on holiday for 10 days leaving the baby with me. One set of grand parents moved in for 5 days and we went to stay with the other set for the other 5. We also had a 10 day holiday together with me getting 2 hours off in that time.

Normal life was working 7-7 and getting up in the night 5 nights out of 7. I had 1 full day off and 2 half days a week, I never had holiday time off/holiday pay for working but that wasn't a problem. I didn't think and they took advantage.

I did everything related to the baby, prepared all the food, bottles, etc, all the washing and ironing of the child's clothes, I had to clean the baby's bedroom, bathroom and play room every day and take her to her activities. It was very full on but tbh I enjoyed it all.

Hmmm - thanks everyone. It's got slighlty better. I think nanny realised that I was finally ( after one week of trying hard to make sure she was happy and settled ) getting a bit narked and I had made it clear that this wasn't the job for her if she could'nt manage the very limigted things we'd asked her to do.

She seems a lot more chirpy and communicative and has tried to develop a "can do" attitude rather than a can't do one!! Today I had to stay late at work til 6.30pm ( I usually finish at 3pm) ( nanny doesn't finish till 7pm) so she was on her own with all 4 kids ( my 5th is still away abroad at the moment). when I told her that she'd be alone she was quite upbeat and in fact managed v ery well. Kids bathed ( and hairwashed) and stories read and kitchen clean. So maybe intially she was trying to see how much she could getg away with ?

for e.g. althogh she doesn't do our washing , yesteray she took a mixed wash that I'd done out of the machine and hung the kids aprt of it and left ours in a heap in the basket. I was incensed at that and had a chat with her about communal living and courtesy etc - sort of how would you like it if I put everyone's food on a plate but not yours or if I hung everyone's coats up but left yours in a heap ( asuming no-one hung their coats for some reason). It's just common courtesy really. She did reply taht she thought she was only dong kids stuff to which I said that sh e was but if our stuff was in the machne surely its only polite to hang it rather than leave it to stink.

What nannies don't seem to realise often is that mums are genuinely very busy sometimes and a bit of give and take is very valued. For e.g as well as holding donw the equivalent of a full time job I'm also shopping and cooking abnd nurturin ghnad educating my childrne - life is one long round of school, extra curricular , friends , helping with homeework etc and if nannies nit pick they are likely to grate on parent's nerves very quickly.

Hi Lisa - this may be off target but reading through the messages now I wondered if perhaps your nanny was feeling "overmanaged". I know that in her position I would much rather be told to sort out dinner for the children than to chop an onion followed by chop a courgette etc. It may be that she doesn't have the organisational abilities to do that but I think it might be worth giving her a freer hand for a day or two and see if she rises to the challenge. The washing situation might also be a bit of a work-to-rule response as well.

seems petty that she didnt hang/bung in tubmle dryer your washing BUT if she isnt meant to do yours/dh washing, then maybe dont do mixes washes

and agree about the cooking remark - maybe next time, just say, can you make a shepherds pie/lasgane/fish pie for tea etc and see how she makes it

There is no way I would have left your washing and just hung up the children's. That is just crazy.

Actually when I tell my nanny not to do my laundry, I really mean it. If I left it in the WM then I'd expect them to stay there (actually I would plan my laundry such that nanny would never come across my clothes). Maybe your nanny had similar explicit instructions in her previous job, so maybe getting "incensed" was an overreaction? Anyway she seems to have the right attitude, which is everything, so I hope it works out.

"So maybe intially she was trying to see how much she could getg away with ? "
maybe another way to look at it is that she was just trying to work out what her boundaries were. and yes, I agree with the comment above that she might actually do better if you let her do more.

important things to remember:

1. chances of finding the perfect nanny that you don't have to work at least a little to keep a happy relationship are very very small (like the concept of a perfect lover)
2. that's not your fault
3. in the end, something will work out!

Thankd everyone - valuable comment about overmanaging as I probalby do do that ! Actually when I left nanny yesterday to go to nearby park most of day wiht ds and then be with childrne herself whilst I was at work it did work out quite well!