going to discuss a nanny job with someone who has never had a nanny - what things should I be making sure we discuss

[fairibell]

Further to my previous post about being a nanny with my own baby I am going to meet a family with 2 children,a 4 year old who will be starting in reception in September adn a baby (either 5 months now or will be 5 months in Sept - wasn't clear from her email.

Anyway as I have never been a nanny and shes never had one I was wondering if anyone could guve me any advice on things to discuss/consider.

At the moment they are offering £1100 gross a month for about 45hours - so far seems she would muct prefer her daughter had a fun and stimulating day to housework/washing etc being done.

So far I know it would involve driving her son to school and back and then having a nice day, going out place etc with her daughter (ad mine) - feeding them and bathing them.

So far the things I would like to clarify are:

Petrol costs? - should this be on top of the salery?
holiday pay/holidays?- are these normally taken when the family want to go away etc or can i request holiday?
sick pay - do they have to pay me this?
an agreement as to if my daughter is ill - what happens etc?

What else should we be thinking about? and what is the noram for the above things (and any other things to think about!)

thanks so so much, all your help has been invaluable so far!

We do the following:

Petrol costs - we pay 40p per mile, although I do expect our nanny only to do reasonable mileage.

Holiday pay/holidays - you are entitled to paid holidays, we agree 2 weeks of our choice and 2 weeks of hers, plus bank holidays. In reality she gets more because we tend to have more than 2 weeks.

Sick pay - most nanny contracts only commit to paying SSP, which kicks in at a pretty low rate (about £73 a week I think) after you've been off 3 days. In reality, we have always paid our Nanny full pay when she's been off sick, but need to have the option not to.

If your daughter is ill, then it may depend on whether she is contagious. If she's just poorly, could she spend most of the day at your employer's house in bed, whilst you look after their child around the house? If not then I would expect either you to use up holiday or have the days as unpaid leave.

Food - you might want to check your employer is happy to feed you and your child, and agree the sort of food you'll be cooking.

Thanks Cosette! thats a great start and lots to think about!

What about essential equipment - like carseats for my car - anything else esential?? and non-essential - like arts stuff/paints etc and who pays for trips/toddler groups etc? do you have a kitty? (obviosuly dont expect her to pay for any of these things for my daughter!)

notice periods...
working over Christmas...
go shopping for food?

sorry thinking aloud - any opinions etc greatly appreciated!

make sure they're happy to give you a contract, which should include a description of your tasks. don't rely on verbal agreements - their idea of not worrying about washing might be different to yours, and it might be different in a few months' time. if you have it in writing you both know where you stand and hopefull won;t fall out later.

same goes for any other details you thrash out - petrol, expenses, arrangements for when you or any of the children are sick, food (yours and your dds) - ask them to put it all in writing.

make sure they realise that as the employer it is their responsibility to deduct tax and ni from your gross salary and pay it to the inland revenue. if your tax and ni don;t get paid it is them - not you - that would be liable. make sure they can give you pay slips detailing your pay, tax and ni - legally they have to - and you need them.

hatwoman - thanks! i hadnt thought of the tax side, sort of assumed i would be self employed - which is a pain in itself!

Cosette's notes on holidays/holiday pay & sick pay are absolutely the norm (just to confirm).

There's less of a norm around float money/kitties - we do one (amount in cash per week, spent as nanny thinks fit, receipts kept in case needed for tax - all very simple, but accordingly doesn't cover "big" things like new shoes, which have to be dealt with separately); some people give their nanny a dedicated credit card (so new shoes etc. all possible). And practice varies as to whether nanny can spend kitty money on whatever she thinks is appropriate, or whether employers want to know in advance where the money is going to go. (I'd be interested in other views on that.)

Petrol, and issues around nanny with own child, aren't things we've ever dealt with, so can't comment on those. Re the latter, do have a search on here - it comes up quite a lot and there are some good surveys of what all the issues can be.

Other things for the thinking-about agenda:

• approval status: see if you/your possible employer want you to be on the voluntary Ofsted register: this significant financial advantages for some employers, & advantages (though less tangible ones!) for nannies too

• insurance arrangements (especially if you are using your own car)

• other kit - do you have a double buggy? Does she? (You won't always be using the car, presumably)

• routine preferences: are you both quite keen on stable routine? or both ad hoc & flexible? or one in one camp & one in the other? VERY worth talking about till you absolutely understand each other

Thanksagain - no they haven't had a nanny before, so thats why i wanted to make sure i knew the sorts of things to bring up!

If their children were ill i just assumed that i still worked and if i can get a relative to care for my daughter great, if not she would have to come too!

behaviour is already on my list and one of the things I really wanted to discuss.

fairibell - if you;d like to see a pretty detailed nanny-with-a-child contract cat me. the thing to remember is that it's an agreement between two adults and, as such, everything (from whether you do the washing to who pays for your daughter's trip expenses) is up for negotiation - but the key is clarity - so everyone knows where they stand.

is that contact you hatwoman or someone else?

that would be agreat to see a contract just to get an idea!

thanks so much

Sarah

I can't remember how it works - or if I'm signed up to it but try clicking on the envelope by my name and see what happens. My former nanny brought her own child and I'd be happy to email you her contract

We provided a separate car seat for our Nanny's car - so that it could be kept in there all the time.

We also have a kitty - which I just top up when it needs it. Our nanny puts receipts in, plus only really tends to use it for singing groups etc which aren't too expensive.

We use the childcare vouchers, and so asked our nanny to register, and we paid the registration fee (about £100). We also paid for her to attend a 2 day course as she didn't have any formal qualifications. So if they do want you to register, be sure to clarify who is paying for what.

hatwoman - says i have to pay can you jsut email to my old email account? dont mind putting that on here?
[email protected]

thanks xx

We've had a nanny share but not a nanny with her own child.

Food is a good one to talk about - are they happy for the children to be fed food with sugar in, or are they health freaks? If you were more inclined to health-freakery than the family, I think that would be ok - their children would learn that they didn't get crisps/whatever from the nanny. But if it was the other way round, that might create issues for you. You'd have to teach your DD that there were no treats on working days but there were on other days, which I think would be tricky.

I keep a shopping list on the go, our nanny adds things to it and then I order on-line. If we run out of anything before the delivery comes, she uses the kitty to get milk, bread, whatever.

As well as the double buggy you need to think about high chairs and cots. When we did a nannyshare, the other family was happy to have their child nap in our travel cot. We split the cost of the second high chair and the double buggy. They left wipes, nappies and a change of clothes for little accidents at our house.

You also need to think about the inevitable wear and tear on the other family's house. How excited will the family be when your DD puts a jam sandwich in the DVD player, for example?

fairibell - have emailed you

reading fridayschild's post has reminded me it was my nanny-with-a-child that brought me to mumsnet - I came on here looking for a cheap double buggy. never found one. never left

not too concerned about the food issue - my daughter will only be 4 months when due to start! Plus not planning on giving her any junk so to speak!

As for jam sandwich in dvd player!! would hope that wouldn't happen, but to be honest even if it was her children who did it it would be just as bad as i would be responsible for all of them!

Thanks so much for all the things to consider - the lady I am going to see seems to be really open to discussing things to find the best options so fingers crossed!

thanks hatwoman will go and look now