Finding an au pair/nanny - husband died

[adamsappleinthetree]

My husband died a few years ago. I have a 10 yr old. My house is big and we have lots of animals. I have no family and I work. I love our house, my daughter doesn’t want to move so that’s for another year. Too much anxiety already to suggest a move.

Im trying to hold it together but I’m not really.

Holiday childcare and help and all the fun just makes me exhausted let alone manage all our grief.

My only babysitter just moved out of town and Im back to square one.

We love very rurally, and so any help I get would need their own car.

Im re thinking an au pair, can they help with cleaning, tidying and pets too? I wonder if that might work.

Where do you find someone safe and reliable to live in your home? I started looking online at some overseas then got freaked out about it all.

Any advice helpful.

Thank you

I'm so sorry for your loss op, and sorry you're losing your only support.
Are yo sure you want to stay where yo u are? Your child will lbr moving uo to secondary school soon, and wanting some independence. Would a smaller home closer to town actually make your life easier? It's ok to pick the option that makes your life work for you instead of against you

You need a housekeeper nanny. Au pairs normally do classes and socialise so are unlikely to want to live in the arse end of nowhere. They should only be working a couple of hours a day. The idea is that you treat them like a grown up cousin and they're part of the family. Of course, plenty of people abuse them and expect more work, but a decent agency will black list you for that.

It's quite difficult now to find an au pair, you could try advertising on au pair world and see if anyone is interested. There are no au pair visas, so you can only host those from countries who can get a tier 5 youth mobility visa - so Canada, New Zealand, Australia, or those with a UK or irish passport.

They wouldn't have their own car though, you'd need to supply one and pay for the associated insurance costs.

You could also advertise for a nanny, they are more likely to have their own car, but you'd be looking at a salary of £500-700/week, plus NI. contributions and pension.

Maybe you need an older woman who can live in and, as a previous poster suggested, be a nanny/ housekeeper.

What part of the country are you @adamsappleinthetree

Cornwall so v rural

Hi @adamsappleinthetreeDo you work from home at all? As a short-term fix have you thought about hiring a student to help over the summer. I was a student at Truro High School and remember us being asked if anyone wanted to provide some holiday care for a primary school aged child who likes ballet. A friend got the job and loved it. She got paid hourly and took the child on various trips as well as spending some downtime with her at home. The arrangement continued in uni holidays as they got on well. It’s now so hard for young people to find jobs that you might be in luck. (I asked about WFH as it would mean that you’re around in case of emergencies).

This solution doesn’t resolve the housework issue, but if you looked for a reliable student who likes animals they might be prepared to walk you dog/clean out your guinea pig etc etc

There are actually a few British uni students currently on au pair world looking for summer jobs. It's probably worth registering and having a look.

As I said though, you'd need to supply the car.