Can I have your experience of Maternity Nurses please?

[henrys7thwife]

This will be my 5th baby, I have DS1: 8, DD1: 5, DD2: 4, and DS2: just 2 who is currently looked after by a full-time nanny (and she has others post-school for about 1.5 hrs).

Thinking of getting a maternity nurse for this baby, as with each concurrent child I've found it all a bit hectic! I don't work but since the birth of DD2 have done part-time voluntary work that's about 22 hrs/week.

Have heard positive/negatives about maternity nurses. Also, where did everyone find theirs, how much have they been paid, how long have they stayed on, and do you have any experience of having a nanny for older DC's plus a maternity nurse in the house? Worry they'll clash?

bump - anyone used one???

Turnip, I considered a different form of help, but just don't feel I could take on a live-out mother's help or au pair with my little newborn bean! Would feel more confident with someone qualified to work with newborns, and from an agency (although hopefully not twinkle's by the sound of it!) who has great refs, etc.

I would prefer to do it all myself, but had to listen to DH's words of wisdom when I literally fell asleep signing eldest DS's school form at the table the other night..

Hi, I'm a maternity nurse and also a mum. I think its a good to have a clear idea of the type of maternity nurse you would like. If you just need to have the extra help you could get a trainee for around £500. I am always happy to help with other siblings, some maternity nurses won't. I have found work on gumtree or through agencies. I normally work 5 days/24 hours though some will work 6 days.

Henrys7thwife.. Could you use a nanny who is looking to get in to this sort of thing?

My reasoning is (so that you can see where I am coming from) that given your concern about clashing and also considering that you have experience and knowledge that you'd really be looking for more of an extra pair of hands and a nanny could provide this (although I do mean an extra nanny, not your own one, just a nanny dedicated to helping you fulfil the maternity side of stuff)and at the same time you'd be getting someone who was (hopefully) really keen to learn etc.

Does that make any sense? Hopefully you'd be able to meet them well in advance and stuff or may already know of someone who'd be suitable.

What do you think? Is this a possibility?

i have worked as a maternity nurse have previously only done days for twins did 3 days a week as thats all family needed they had a live-in mat nurse 24/6 for 2wks and found it didnt suit them.

I also do night nanny work as a maternity nurse and will help with the older siblings esp if toddler age and waking in night dont mind seeing to them as well as it means parents get that full nights sleep.

I charge £10 an hr for singles and £15 an hr for multiples.

think maternity nurses vary from £500 (new mat nurse) - £1000 (very qualified and experienced) thats for 24/5 or 24/6

def look on gumtree many mat nurses advertise on there.

one family I night nannied for and still babysit for 2yr on, they booked a mat nurse through an agency and were hurried into it paid the women half the money up front to secure booking, only rang one reference who gave a good one. Well the woman never arrived they tracked her down asked why and she couldnt give them an answer, rang a few other people after getting numbers from agency and she had screwed lots of families out of money - the one person that had rung for a ref was a fake it was a friend!!! ended up in hands of police!!

Always use agencies who have personally met the maternity nurses. I had a very indepth interview with Tigerlily whilst other agencies have offered me work without interviewing.

all agencies i have registered with have insisted on interviewing me before putting forward for work and def think this is what all agencies should do.

i know one family who have had mat nurse for last 2 babies and had a nanny as well on both occassions as 2 older children as well. the first time nanny sulked as put out she had only been there 3mths and was others issues with her. second time mat nurse and nanny got on great and helped each other out as well as knowing each other role and where the boundaries were

We had one, of sorts, for ds (my first). It was "of sorts" because the one we had hadn't been a MN before. We'd booked an experienced one - all arranged - but she had a family emergency & instead the agency sent us a midwife who was about to start work over here (from elsewhere) but had time before her contract started. Our MN was used to doing long-hour shifts etc. etc. as a midwife, and goodness she knew what to do with newborns, but she hadn't ever had a "fit in with the family" job.

She did the best she could, & so did we - I was very grateful for all she taught me - but it made me realise that what you are paying for is (a) somebody who is hugely experienced around tiny babies, so can do all sorts of hands-on tutoring you can't get from NCT classes; and (b) somebody who has a total sixth sense about new-parent dynamics - so spotting the exact moment when Mum must be sent to have a rest, right now; and when Dad must be told it is his job to make dinner, in such an exquisitely jolly way that he thinks he wanted to all along; and precisely when the baby needs to be taken out in the pram for a very very long walk while the parents have a private weep of exhaustion.

Now, I needed (a), like anything (but you don't, as this is no.5); and (b) is a question of chemistry & magic. We didn't quite have (b), with ours; but then that was fine, because of (a) - however, for you, your (b) needs someone with the magic touch with, not just a dyad of new parents, but a whole big-family multi-sibling dynamic. I am not sure that most MNs will have the requisite experience - as they mostly deal with first babies.

Soo - wrapping this all up - I think what you need is another cheery, do-anything, pair of hands - a mother's help, and not a MN at all.

When I was a lot younger I was a nanny to a family that had a maternity nurse. She kept herself very seperate from me so there were no clashes. However, she also managed to keep the baby very seperate from the other dc, so they didn't really get to see their sister until after the MN had gone.

She was very strick with the baby and mother, which I supose is what she was being paid for. Rather than ease the baby and mum into a routine she enforced her idea of a rountine on the whole family.

If you go for one make sure you ask her how she sees herself fitting in with the family and if she sees herself as being there to support you or train you?

Having had dc of my own since I wouldn't have liked the experience of a MN I saw. If money was no object for me I think I would prefer to have had a post natal doula.