School said Nanny was high at pick up - Nanny denied

[AMA1234]

We've had a great after school nanny for 2 months now - mainly for DS4 and sometimes DS3. Really good with the kids, organised, cooks etc. Yesterday, I told her that DH and I were at work out of home so left watsapp instructions for dinner as I have done previously. She starts an hr before pick up to prep food and fold laundry. Yday DS4 was poorly so school called and we req she pick him up straight away. School called shortly after he's been picked up to raise safeguarding concerns as she smelt like cannabis and had bloodshot eyes. I rushed home from work and asked her gently if she had been smoking and she denied it. My gut is saying that she was high (no eye contact/slow) but I cant be sure. As I was home unexpectedly she left her keys on the side and for the first time I noticed her keyrings are from Narcotic Anonymous. I think her bag also smelt of cannabis but cant be sure. What shall I do now? I guess options are to end now - still in probation period under contract, ask for a drug test, or treat this as a warning. KInterested in views - I'm waiting for a call back from the school with more info.

I think you're going to have to let her go really. You don't want a liar and a drug addict looking after your children surely?

Also, if school have told you about it and you don't act on it, the school will next time likely report to social services if they feel you haven't done anything about it.

Very odd that she got high before work and left her keys visible showing drug relations on the same day… but anyway, obviously you let her go. Not sure what else you need from school really

I would trust the school staff myself, there’s no reason why they would lie, if she’s on probation, you just say you aren’t going to make it permanent. No way would I want her looking after my DC.

Narcotics Anonymous keyrings eh!

I've heard it all now!

Sorry I do not believe she had that key ring, but regardless let go of her now the school has flagged it you can’t keep her on.

There were a few like this.

Ok so let’s say you did see the keyring, you know your nanny has drug issues for which was given a keyring for being clean also your school say she was high. Your nanny has drug issues it’s up to you what you want to do with that information

Of course. So with having seen that she’s a drug addict by the keyrings, and school phoning to say she was high and smelt of drugs… and her lying to you about it. Do you really need mumsnet to tell you to terminate her probation?

Why are you disbelieving this? Are you familiar with 12-step fellowships?

Why do you disbelieve this? Have you ever been in a 12-step fellowship? They give out lots of badges, pins, chips etc

I don’t understand why you think an NA keyring is an impossibility.

You can't possibly keep her on. I'm not sure why you're doubting she takes drugs in the face of so much evidence. It's clear she does, and using a drug addict for a nanny won't look good to the school.

The school raised concerns over her drug use, you smelt cannabis, your gut says she was high. Whether she has NA keyrings or not is irrelevant. No one who takes drugs should be looking after your kids. She has to be terminated, I don't see any other option. . .

You terminate her employment

without sounding like a total wimp (which I am) - I would sack her and say you have to because of the school raising safe guarding issues. You need to be seen as protecting your child.
I would imagine the n/a keyring are not for her problem with weed... it will be something more serious.

Agree.
And as someone else said, if you keep her on despite what school said, and something else happens in the future, it reflects very badly on you that you ignored the school's warnings.

I despair of some people who can't make a decision when it is so obvious.

Yes they do give them out. The disbelief comes from the claim that someone would leave this out in full view of their employer. Would you?

You said you “did not believe that she had that key ring”, as though it’s something that can’t exist.

I still do not understand why this causes you disbelief.

She was expecting to have more
time alone before doing pick up - perhaps she was intending to tidy up after cooking and folding the laundry and put her keys away.

Also - are people in recovery not allowed to wear their chips / pins / keyrings - etc? Is it shameful?
.

I am asking why you think it’s shameful to be in recovery from an addiction that you have worked hard enough at to “earn” a chip or a keyring.

In this case now she has been busted presumably in a relapse @AMA1234 - I am afraid you have to let her go.

I would if I was high.

She would be gone there and then. I wouldn't take any chances with someone being high.

The smell of canabis is unmistakable. If you smell it, you smell it

Uh… as others have said, people don’t generally go to NA for cannabis, so you’re talking about two separate issues, sort of (I admit it’s likely connected). You know she used cannabis today (most likely), and you know she was addicted to something serious enough to go to NA (likely a harder drug, like heroin or ketamine). I know a few people who were formerly addicted to hard drugs and are now “California sober” (nothing except alcohol and cannabis; a looooooot of celebrities do this to deal with their more serious addictions, so it’s becoming popular). While she could easily be prescribed it medically in the UK, the whole point of taking it medically is getting a correct dose so you get some benefits but you’re not visibly or mentally “high” with slow responses and bloodshot eyes! The point is also not whether or not she takes cannabis; the point is that she did it to the extent that it sounds like she couldn’t reasonably look after OP’s kids.

Though I’m a bit confused by the timeline. Normally she comes in an hour before pick up, but you called her to pick up a child early/immediately, so was she using cannabis during a time she didn’t expect to be looking after the kids? For those who are super anti-cannabis, maybe this wouldn’t change anything and they’d sack her anyway. But if it was a genuine mistake… dunno, OP. Much harder that your DC are so young because they’re not reliable witnesses really.

Could it be more glaring! Extraordinary.

@CocoaTea I didn’t say that at all. I also don’t think being in recovery is shameful, quite the opposite.