This might be long, I’ll try and cut it down.
We have two children: 3y4m (DD1) and 14m (DD2).
DD1 started nursery (13m at the time) when I returned to work. At the time we had limited options as my husband worked shifts and we needed somewhere that allowed adhoc booking so chose this nursery. I work 3 days a week and we booked in whenever my husband was also working otherwise she was home with him.
Big regret as just before DD1 turned 2 the nursery got a poor Ofsted rating so we decided to move her to a childminder. I was pregnant with DD2 at the time and went on mat leave a month later. The childminder is not located where we live but a 15 min drive across town. Didn’t bother us too much, I was on mat leave, she was flexible just like the nursery and great for DD1.
Childminder suggested moving DD1 to a preschool that she could do drop off and pick up from. We thought it was a great idea, lovely preschool. Moved her in September, DD1 settled well but moved to the older room in January and hasn’t enjoyed it as much since.
I returned to work 3 weeks ago. DD2 has settled well with childminder.
However, husband has a new job now that doesn’t require shift working. He does regular Monday-Friday hours. Our childminder and DD1s preschool is across town. Our childminder does all drop offs and pick ups for us at preschool now so we have no physical interaction with them. My husband has to drive across town to pick them up and then drive back again in rush hour, then get home and make dinner. I don’t finish until 6pm so it’s a rush when I get home too.
My husband has suggested moving both DDs to a nursery near to our house. Pick up and drop off would be much easier, they get all meals provided and they come with a great preschool and are highly recommended. We would have to move DD2 when DD1 goes to school anyway as we can’t do two drop offs in different areas of town easily. DD1 starts school in 1.5 years.
It’s much more expensive though. And would mean moving DD1 again which I feel awful about. I’m not so worried about DD2, she’s fairly resilient but I also feel bad for settling her in at our childminders when I should have thought about this before I returned to work. Although the logistics and day to day life of it all weren’t known then. It’s exhausting.
We love our childminder although she has been off unwell for the past 2 weeks which has caused childcare issues, but not her fault.
It would be much easier for us logistically to move them. I just feel so bad.
Has anyone else moved their children around like this? I feel like a terrible mum even considering it. DD1 loves our childminder dearly. She’s a very sensitive little girl and finds making relationships difficult.
Any advice?