Ideal set up for 4 children under 6

[coralsand]

Hi all, I am expecting my 4th baby, and I am trying to anticipate the right set up for one he's born.

Currently: full time nanny, 50 hours a week.

• 1st child goes to school
• 2nd child to nursery full time
• 3rd child at home

The tricky time is 3pm-7pm (school picks up, clubs, dinner, bath time routine).

I am considering several options:

• 3rd child to nursery full time
• having a 2nd part time nanny for the afternoon / evening
• hiring a maternity nurse focused on the baby, and no change to the rest of the organisation

Appreciate if you have any advice. Especially if you have 3+ children.

(Note: I work full time and won't take more than one or 2 months off after giving birth - i'm self employed).

Thank you

If money isn't an issue, then it isn't unusual for families to employ an additional after school nanny.
Full time nanny has charge of the youngest two, afterschool nanny does pick ups and clubs/playdates for older two.

A maternity nanny is only going to help for the first 6 months and won't help with the issue of the nanny juggling a toddler and preschooler along with the school child.

Ask your current nanny what is hardest for her and where she thinks the extra support will be most valuable.

Will child 3 go to nursery soon? Extra after school help sounds like it would be most useful, even if it isn’t every day.

Au pair/local teen to help with the older one(s) after school? Advertise on your WhatsApp groups for gap-year/college student(s) to help with evenings?

Assuming your current setup is working, then I would hire someone to help out 3pm to 7pm.

What time do you (and partner?) finish work? Are you around for pick ups and bedtimes? If so, I’d probably stick with current set up or maybe put the third child in nursery for a couple of days to help free up evenings where bigger ones have clubs. If you’re working through bedtime, maybe an after school nanny would help?

(Soon to be mum of 4 under 6 here!)

Oh wow congrats on the 4th pregnancy and good luck @Eeeeels
Whats your current/future set up?

I usually finish work at 7 so I’m back just for bed time. Partner much later.

Yes, an after school nanny sounds like the best plan.
I wish I could have an au pair but it would mean having my kids sharing a bedroom to free up space. (Which is possible but not ideal, since they all are at different stages)

And nursery full days for a couple of days a week might help also.

Perhaps a maternity nurse could help with the baby in the afternoon / evening when the nanny is busy with the other kids? Even if it’s just for the first 6months, while I look for the right long term set up.

thanks for all the advice, happy to hear your thoughts

Same to you!

I’m lucky in that I can take a full year of maternity leave, so I will be able to manage for that period, alongside a couple of days of nursery for number 2 and 3 until 2 also starts school. The main challenge will be, like you, when I return to work properly (fourth is definitely final! 😂) - I’m not sure wraparound care will be robust enough and we may need a nanny.

Lucky you! I wish I could take a year off with the new baby 🥰
Enjoy

and yes a nanny comes definitely handy with little ones when you work full time

Being able to have a year off is very lucky! Although the combo of my long maternity leave plus your nanny when working FT would be the sweet spot I think?! I’m going to be shell shocked when I go back to work after pretending to be a lady of leisure for a year, and have to juggle it all with four. As if three wasn’t tough enough! What have we done? 😂😂

we're insane 😅😂

How rich are you ? Having a mn is likely to be cost you £25ph and unlikely to just work 3/7 - thy do either 24 hrs with 4hrs off daytime or nights (like I do) but you don’t need nights

so maybe a day baby/nanny but again costs £20ph + so £200 a day x 5 so a grand a week

or an extra pair of hands /after schools nanny 3/7 and still looking at prob £20/25ph as shorter hours

That 3–7pm stretch really is the hardest bit, isn’t it — even when everything else is fairly well set up. School pick-ups, clubs and then straight into dinner and bedtime can just feel relentless.

From our experience, and chatting to other parents with 3+ kids, that late afternoon/early evening window is often where things either work or completely fall apart. Sometimes adding another drop-off or transition (like nursery) can actually make it feel more complicated rather than easier.

A bit of extra help just for those hours can make a surprisingly big difference, especially if it means the main routine stays steady and there’s one less thing for you to juggle.

Hopefully others with similar setups will chip in, but it definitely sounds like you’re thinking about this really carefully.

We’ve been really interested to see how many parents struggle with this same afternoon/evening gap.