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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Are we just having bad luck? Nanny’s?

7 replies

littleonebigone2 · 23/01/2026 16:35

I understand that generally as a whole, life is a little gloomy with the economy and weather.

We’ve recently moved back to the UK after quite a few years working abroad.

Decided to go with some ad hoc freelance Nanny’s who were looking for work. (Found, or reached out to us on the childcare website).

Hadn’t yet employed someone for an employed situation (which seems the preferred route for half of those that contacted us from the job search role I had listed. But the other half seem to prefer self employed situation and just invoice).
..Either works for us, as just finding our feet since moving back.

But one thing that’s really concerning.
The ones seeking a long term employed (we cover holiday, sickness, NI etc etc) role seem to be the ones that talk the talk but don’t walk the walk.
Once you see how they are in general in their way of working. They just seem to be very unmotivated, going outside in any sort of current weather avoided, cut corners, and just sense some of them are simply doing the basics to get through the day, yet say they love childcare. (But in all honesty they seem to me to have lost passion for their trade, or maybe they never had a passion for it. And just are just looking for a wage and in exchange think they should say what they should be (the attributes a typical (good) nanny would have). On paper. And job done.

Then there’s the other flip of the coin.
Where we connected to one who is great. But she doesn’t drive. But was able to offer ad hoc help (self employed preferred) before she moves a couple of hrs away to move in with her son. So we took her up on that, and will greatly miss her!
Lovely older woman. Very active, really thinks on her feet. It can be the simplest of things, like actually enjoying taking LO outdoors this time of year, picking up acorns, going on slide with LO.l, or just actually wanting to go to the park, outdoors. Pinging a message over to say what did LO have for breakfast as they seem hungrier that day. So is it okay she grabs a banana or apple. Finds some make shift cutlery on the way for said apple. Knackers LO out. Doesn’t take the mick on running personal errands with child in say a car on their working hours (which we found happened with two of the car driver ladies) and the sorts that hated to walk much, preferring indoor play cafes they can meet their friends at. Have their phones out around kids like it’s glued to their whole persona, sidetracked, bored, just doing the bare minimum on many fronts.

Another mum said similar recently in their search. Gave up and put their two in nursery.
At moment I’m still persevering down this route as I know there are, and must be good nanny’s out there.
We have met one, but she’s retiring.

But the passion and drive for the other two we trialed was less than ideal when got to know them and the over initial talk the talk part wore off.
It puzzles me as they still want to be employed but it’s clear they just have very little motivation to be what a child needs. And it worries me we get landed with someone who puts on a great front but once ‘employed’ show to be like the less than ideal candidate. Then we have to get out of a situation like that (I’ve heard of partners friend having issues with this) and cause disruption for LO while re searching for right long term one.

Is it this hard to find a decent nanny without personal recommendations? (Which unfortunately in our circle isn’t something that easily gets recommended as not many use non nursery environments).

Is there really something in the whole Norland thing?
I didn’t tend to buy into that and felt I’m sure most working in the industry must to a point enjoy their work. As it’s no easy feat entering yourself into childcare industry am sure, I couldn’t do it everyday. So that’s why it baffles me to come across those reaching out for work but prove to be un motivated types who think what they do is good.

Maybe they just came from lazy backgrounds?
Should I be looking for someone who doesn’t drive, so walking doesn’t phase them? Or mentions exercise is something they partake in in their hobbies or in life? (Like for example the ad hoc older lady we found who puts the others to shame tbh on her desire to be active, talks of her gym she goes to which she enjoys. (We’re not talking triathlons here, simply a walk to the park or woods without making excuses the weathers not great (a little overcast but dry 🙈). So I know LO hasn’t just been traipsed around shops, or running errands with them in their car, around being stuck indoors for repetitive activities that suited their boredom levels or narrative😬).

It seems so hard to find the pro active ones. The ones who love their jobs. I know there’s some fabulous lovely ones, but they all seem taken, and stayed with families for many years.
Not sure if Covid created a younger crowd of lazy people that apparently want to ‘work’ on paper but not work the role.. or if this is just the childcare industry now?

We do have an older child who’s off to Uni, so it’s been a long long time we’ve been in the early yrs childcare phase. But it just feels different.

Help

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 23/01/2026 20:48

My thoughts in no order

Its hard...

Sanny nanny is highly recommended in my circle.

Many nannies dont drive..why? I dont know!

I interviewed some nannies in their 20s and early 30s and was not happy with any of them. I ended up going with childminders who were "older ladies". first CM was 60s and AMAZING she didnt have a space for dc2.
Second is also great she's about 55.
They are both ultra ultra reliable and have "calm auras"

They are just calm collected pros who i have total faith in...

What i would say is i have zero issue with them running errands one day a week..
taking them to the post office or to the supermarket is fine for me...These are real world outings i'd take them on and teaching them about the world...

They also do forest schools, playgroups,
As well as zoos, toddler theme parks etc regularly ( they have memberships)

NuffSaidSam · 23/01/2026 20:55

If you're consistently finding bad nannies then the issue will be with your recruitment methods.

Perhaps you're looking in the wrong place (use an agency?), perhaps you're asking the wrong questions at interview. Perhaps you're not checking references thoroughly enough. Perhaps you're not paying enough to attract good quality candidates. Be honest with yourself on these issues and see if you can find where the problem is.

As a very good nanny, I can tell you why I wouldn't apply for your job...because you don't really know what you want. Anyone who mentions self-employment is out for me because it's means they don't understand the employment relationship and it will likely be difficult to navigate with them. It also screams 'time waster'. Good employers have a clear understanding of what they want (days, hours, starting date, duties).

I would also say that if your job ad is as lengthy and meandering as your OP, people are likely not bothering to read it all.

jetlag92 · 23/01/2026 21:11

Unless you're recruiting someone on an ad hoc basis, they can't be self-employed in England/Wales anyway.

Just post an ad asking for what you want and need - you're their employer - specify what you need them and do and when. Limit phone use (we always did).

MidWayThruJanuary · 23/01/2026 21:15

@jetlag92
How do you limit phone use for a nanny?

tomtomthepipersson · 24/01/2026 02:29

You need to join a good nanny agency,
I agree with the nanny who said that a qualified, experienced nanny often do not want to be self employed.
I am an NNEB nanny, 51 years old, don't drive, with over 30 years of very happy and successful career as a professional nanny.

Not all childcare qualifications are equal.
Do your research. I studied and trained for 2 year! It was the same academics study as a Norland- with out the fancy extra things that they were taught!

I still love my job and am very passionate about my work- I've since had my own children and am the best I've ever been as a nanny!
I only work part time and I am very selective of, who I choose to work for!

I think the nanny for you is out there! The childcare industry is in a crisis and many nursery workers move on to nannying thinking it's easier work.
Nannying used to be a lot more of respected profession, things have changed a lot. But there are still amazing nannies out there!

ImDoneOnceAndForAll2 · 24/01/2026 02:50

Where are you advertising? Do you live in a big city?
I think you should contact afew nanny agencies and get a feel about what they can offer you

I was a nanny for many years, came out of it 10 years ago but want to get back into it
I wouldnt be interested in going 'self employed'
I want everything through the books, i want to be Ofsted registered, have first aid, nanny insurance
Otherwise it all feels abit unsafe

But on the flip sife, you will attract 'cash in hand' for ad hoc. And its more of a temp arrangment so maybe thats why the nannies arent that interested / motivated cause its not a full time job?
Not that, that is an excuse

TNAMA · 25/01/2026 16:28

You’re really not alone in this at all, and you’re not being unreasonable. I hear this from a lot from families, especially those coming back to the UK or hiring again after a long break. There’s a big difference between someone who can talk childcare and someone who genuinely brings energy and initiative to the day-to-day reality.

The small things you mentioned like getting outside regardless of the weather, thinking ahead about food, genuinely engaging rather than just supervising - those are often the clearest indicators of a good nanny, and they’re surprisingly hard to gauge from CVs alone.

Not sure if you did this but trial days can help, but they don’t always show the full picture, especially if expectations haven’t been clearly set upfront. Motivation and work ethic tend to show over time rather than in interviews.

You’re also right that many of the really good, proactive nannies tend to stay put for years once they find the right family, which can make the search feel frustrating if you don’t have personal recommendations.

Norland can suit some families, but it’s not a guarantee of warmth or initiative. Those things usually come down to personality rather than training alone.
Trust your instincts. Wanting someone who genuinely enjoys being active, outdoors and engaged with your child isn’t asking too much!

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