Stressing, advice or handhold please.

[Wafflesthepig]

I appreciate some of MN is a bit no nonsense and will think I’m being silly but I had some things in childhood that have created worries, as well as ppa&ppd so please be gentle if you can.

I’d like to put dd in childcare just for a few hours, maybe 2 half days a week to give me a bit more time.

dd does not like to go to anyone except me or dh.
I’ve viewed some nurseries and theyve said that firstly they don’t really do half days, and secondly that she will likely cry every time for several weeks. That sounds horrendous and scarring to me! I know lots of children do it and no judgement on anyone that thinks that’s best or doesn’t have a choice, but I’m obviously in a position of not having to put her through that so it feels a bit cruel.
I’ve spoken to some childminders but I feel incredibly wary of having her in someone’s home where anything could be happening to her and there are no witnesses.

if you had similar worries, how did you get over it
or did you find another option?

It sounds like a good idea that you’re looking for childcare for her now. It’ll get her used to being with other children and adults before she starts school, which can only be a good thing.

My 3 DC (now adults) were all very different to each other in terms of what childcare suited them and it took a while to sort it out, but it was worth it. My eldest went to a very structured nursery which was small and had more individual attention. My second DS went to a larger playgroup, less structured, more playtime than formal and he thrived there. My DD (the youngest) went to the playgroup and hated it. She cried every time I left her and I couldn’t bear it so she only went there about 3/4 times. She couldn’t settle at all and they agreed I should find somewhere else. I took her to the smaller nursery that DS1 had gone to and she loved it there. Much more individual attention and she was more relaxed in the more formal setting.

Look at several different types of places and persevere when she starts. It’ll take a while for her to settle but it’ll be good for her and will make life a lot easier when she starts school. Also visit some childminders - they’re all registered and inspected so she will be safe there and they can possibly be more flexible with hours etc.

Edited to add: Be aware that you may be projecting your anxiety onto her. Try to be as open to the new experience as possible and avoid letting her see your concerns.

Can relate as I also suffer from horrendous anxiety regarding childcare
How old is your Dd?
My child has been safe In childcare but they are not very forthcoming in going and often talk about going to nursery with mummy.
I've woken up from sleep with the anxiety of how the nursery run will be tomorrow