The madness of aupairs

[Quattrocento]

Just sifting through applications now

1. From a wannabe grunge rockstar who assures me he will be fully prepared to care for the DCs 15 hours a week right after he has finished touring North America with his band

1. One who started a letter with "I am a happy boy" and signed off "God save the Queen" which had me giggling for an hour

1. One who is likes to make things with her hands and make art all the time "see i have lots of ideas" but confesses to believing in reincarnation, being vegetarian, and untidy (that would Never Do)

Clearly madness would be an advantage in the Quattro household - but is this normal?

yes,... I've always stuck to the rules on having a EU AP but I'm fed up with them now and would like to try an American / Canadian. Anything I should know?

Yes EU easier for visas and healthcare - what happens with Canadians on healthcare

Truly tragic letter tonight from a lady with a husband and two children - wrote back and explained that aupairs don't get paid a great deal - they're just supposed to have a nice time and do a bit of childminding between times ...

We have a new one for the summer(arrived last week) - tis only our second, but she seems fine. We use APW, and it's OK, but we go for a VERY limited set of countries. Scandinavia with a teutonic twist...

However, like you retiredgoth, we have 4 dcs, and sometimes I wonder if it is too much for her. No - maybe not all too much for her - just ds2 (aged 2), actually. They are all away in the day, so she really is just doing school run and babysitting til we come home 5.30, 6ish.

But coming home to a house that didn't look like it did at breakfast time is a huge bonus.

Finding room is tough - all our dcs share one room and AP is housed in a 'summer bedroom' at the end of the utility room, but she does have her own shower room.

.....mmmmm. Lone parent with sod all local support, so don't want to risk the "extra child". I already have plenty.

....a couple of years ago we had an "aide maman" for a couple of summers. OK, these are a year or two younger than the average au pair, but they were hard work (and my wife was still alive then!)

.....don't think it is worth the fuss!

useful info escapes me ingles, i apologise. i did notice that when a uk person aupairs in the US it is usually in effect a nanny job, as in FT sole charge care. and that aupairs coming from there do tend to assume that they are there to help for a lot of the time, rather than the 4 hours a day or so that aupairs are 'supposed' to do (according to european aupair agency sites). which is nice

quattro

RG are you in the sticks? If not a 'mother's help' (or father's help in your case of course) could be what you need. Someone to take a bit of the kiddie stuff and the mess, but live out. Thinking local teenager or student. We had one when our eldest 2 were small and it worked really well.

And you don't have to see them at 8am and 11pm...

yes jura, i think thats what the first one did. but the second one just came on holiday visa as not technically working (not enough hours?? or aupairing not really a 'job'? not paid enough?) and they can come on holiday for up to 6m i think (iirc - all v vague)
we thought of her as a guest of our family who we gave pocket money too and who was v v helpful and a lot of fun too. so maybe thats what the 'story' would have been if anyone official had asked.

excellent.. I fancy a Canadian in the desperate hope they might be more equipped to deal with wild and woolly...Kent!
{If I have 1 more Eastern Eu, tripping around in mud in heels and spray on jeans I might just have a nervous breakdown)

LOL ingles

lol. my two were quite the socialites actually but good one coped admirably with rural life.

.....neither town nor country, here.

Just a very dull dormitory suburb twixt Bristol and Bath. It isn't an attractive billet for a young person...

..."mother's help"? I THINK we had that. Well, we had student nannies anyway when the twins were small. Some were good, more were not.

....I suppose I have to face the fact that, ultimately, you get what you pay for. I cannot afford a nanny....

But when (all the) children are school-age - a nanny is just a waste of money, don't you think?

yup, id say so.

but then, i dont work atm so dont have hours i 'need' covered.

we're just about to get our first Ap with APW - american so she's coming on holiday blah blah blah kind of thing.

hopefully i won't be sharing a horror story later on....

retiredgoth - I was a lone parent with 2 young DDs and I found having an au pair a huge help. They did before and after nursery/childminder/school runs, plus laundry, tea, and general cleaning. I also booked in 2 evenings babysitting a week as standard so I could go see friends, or just to the gym. If you've room then definitely worth considering.

I had 2 "ok" au pairs and one fab one. Fab one is still in touch 6 years after she left us, and is coming to help with DD's party this w/e. Although it is a bit like having another child at times, I did find it useful experience - and as long as you set clear boundaries then it can work really well. Maybe give it a try and see how it goes...