Nursery settling in, how long does it take?!

[Patriciathepooch]

We chose a lovely nursery for my son to go to two days a week and started settling him in recently at 10 months old.

He has been doing regular settling in sessions for 3 weeks now which are supposed to be up to two hours but so far really only managing 20 minutes. At first he was doing half an hour 45 minutes but he was so distraught afterwards he was a different baby the rest of the day. So the nursery team and I decided to do regular short bursts 15 mins then I go back etc every day to get him used to it but he really does not stop crying the whole time. I’m starting to feel bad on the staff and other children as well as bad on my son as he gets so upset.

the worst part is it’s now effecting him in other relationships I was previously able to leave him with grandparents and he would be fine but now I can’t and even with dad he gets upset now.

my question is, is this normal? Are we doing something wrong? How long can we expect the settling in process to take because I can’t see him forming bonds with anyone at the nursery if he screams the whole time.

the problem is we know he will love it he loves other children and loves playing at stay and play etc but for some reason he just can’t get his head round nursery.

im at the point where we don’t want to continue but i need to go back to work at some point!

Probably not the reply you want but this sounds so much like what im going through! I recently took my little one out of nursery because she just couldn’t settle. i am lucky that I don’t need nursery for childcare, my parents have my girls when im at work but i decided to send her for her own development.

I found a perfect nursery, it has so many amazing things including a real farm with animals and i know she would love it if she could settle. My girl is 2 and she did 2 half days each week, she was hysterical at drop off time and it took her ages to settle down..

I decided to take her out because she changed so much at home, she did 6 weeks at nursery and she stopped sleeping at night, became fussy with food, wouldn’t go in the car, wouldn’t let me out of her sight..
Like your little one her relationship with my parents was shattered, she used to love going with nana and grandad and would even wave me out the door but suddenly she wouldn’t go to their house, or even be around them without me.
The hardest thing for me is she started to do behavioural ticks, doctor confirmed anxiety and i took her straight out!

The owner of the nursery is incredible and she has suggested after the new year we try again, short bursts and try settle her very slowly but I don’t think I’m sending her back.

She hasn’t been to nursery in 5 weeks now and im only just starting to get my little girl back, she’s now sleeping again, eating properly and she has finally started to wave goodbye at me when i go to work without tears AND her behavioural ticks have completely stopped. I’m starting to see my fun loving happy girl again and im so scared to send her back and the same thing happen.

So many people told me to leave her in and let her cry, that she would eventually settle but for me it wasn’t worth it.. I am looking into a school nursery which she would attend in mornings but not until she is 3 and a half, she will be much older and hopefully settle better.

Sending so much love because I know how them tearful drop offs feel, especially when the rest of your little ones life is so impacted!