Am I being "Out Of Order"

[NannyTinks89]

Im really concerned that I am being thoroughly out of line.
I have been working as a nanny for just over a year now. I recently took on a job that is around an hours travel from where I am based in essex and costs me around £11 a day to get to.
I took this job on as the family were "friends of a friend", the family are completely lovely and their daughter is a delight to work with.
When I agreed to take this job the family were looking into getting extra income based support as their daughter has severe disbilities ( which are a huge responsibility on myself when shes in my care ) as they really could not afford a nanny. They offered me four days a week and one weekend over night stay a month at £300net a week, which I initally thought was reasonable.
Now things, three months on, have gone totally downhill they were rejected for extra monetary support and therefore couldnt afford me, and mum completely cannot cope having the baby alone, as she herself is very ill, I also have fallen completely in love with the child and have formed a really great friendship with my employers, On this basis I have slowly found my hours and wages whittled down to two days a week at £4ph, and one overnight stay 4pm untill 1pm the next at £40. I cannot support myself on this, and the days I work with this family change week to week as do the hours.
I am now looking at taking on another job, or perhaps a share because the situation is terrible money wise for me!!
I was considering asking her to choose two "Fixed" days a week where she could "have" me if she could afford/needed me and the other three days find another job. I feel so terrible doing this because Mum really cant cope with the baby and somedays cant get out of bed because of her illness and needs someone to be there, and I of course cant do this if it isnt on one of "her days".
Am I being a total cow? Unfortuneately no real contract was drawn up when I started this job i correlation to hours etc which I now feel so stupid about!
Advice please??

Tinks xx

Could you help her apply for the money again, get people on MN to help you/her?

At a guess, they were applying for Direct Payments. They can be incredibly hard to get. Over on the Special Needs forum you will probably find advise from parents regarding how the forms should be completed.

Contract would be verbal. After a couple of months you should have had a written statement. They did offer £300net a week, so they should continue paying that, unless they renegotiate the contract. By accepting to work 2 days per week, instead of 4, you may have accepted a change in contract. Sounds however as though you don't want to pursue any legal route.

Ultimately if you can't afford to live in the salary, then you need to find another job. The families situation isn't your problem. If Social Services won't help via Direct Payments, then they need to be providing the family with alternative service provided already in the community. Local charities may also be able to assist (you don't say what the disability is).

Look after No.1... you need to pay your bills, if this family won't pay you sufficient salary, then it's time to move on.

Thanks alot NannyNick, its helpful to know Im not being a total cow to them.
The little girl has Mixed Deafness, problems with the muscles in her eyes and also a problem with her digestive system that means she has to be thoroughly dosed up with some quite potent medicines before and after she eats to ensure its all kept down etc.. and these drugs have some nasty side effects if administered wrongly etc and I literally have kittens about it everytime a bottle time comes around, I was fully informed about all this when I took the job, otherwise Im quite sure I wouldve run the otherway screaming!!
No I definitely dont want to take any legal route with this because they are so lovely and I dont want any bad feelings between us, this is my main worry in all this, upsetting them and "leaving them in the lurch".
I have only been qualified a year and nannying that long so Im still not quite educated in "nanny etiquette" as it were..
They are looking into applying for other means of support but it took five months last time for them to be considered, and rejected, and I cant live on around £50-£70 a week for five months untill another route comes along.
The hours and pay were slowly whittled down over a month or so, it was a sort of "Would it be ok If we only did three days this week?" then a few weeks later two, the money went down in this manner also as in "I can only afford £6ph today.."

Im starting to feel there taking the piss just a little?

i think that no matter how much you like the child youre not a charity you are a qualified nanny do what you can if you want to help them but in your spare time other than that look after yourself first.

They are taking huge advantage of you - but it's not like they've got a lot of options is it? I think you are being a very good friend and employee in being so considerate and flexible - but you still need to eat right? So - tell them you will need to do fixed days, look for another part time job and trust everything will fall into place. If they couldn't afford you - they should never have had you start imo.

Poor things, though. Can you help them look for a charity that might provide volunteer support or something?

Its a matter of she cannot cope with the baby, as she needs one-to-one constantly and through the night she needs a lot of care.
I was just looking for a little "back up" perhaps from other nannys/childcarers/families that Im being reasonable in the options im offering, as this is still my first year of working, and I dont really have any other Nannys etc to deliberate with!
Thanks for the advice, and yes ive suggested they look into all the charities avaliable to help them and she basically asked me to do it If I found time because she doesnt have the time etc

NannyTinks, you have been a saint to these people. Fixed days is very reasonable and it's a good first step to you taking care of your own needs (i.e. you career and your ability to have a stable income).

You need a proper job with a proper contract, and getting one the other three days a week is a good start.

You are not remotely out of order, but actually they are. Even if they are friends and even though their situation does sound difficult, you are not responsible for their problems and you are not obliged to sacrifice your health (which will suffer if you can't afford to eat properly and will also suffer from stress if you get into money troubles because you are earning sod-all), or your wellbeing (on a wage that low, how can you afford your rent/mortgage?).
I's sure they are decent people, and it is understandable that their difficulties have made them a bit selfish, but you will have to be kind but firm with them: you need to earn money elsewhere so you can only work these fixed days for them.

Is there a Children's Centre near you?

They should be able to help.
It sounds as though they would be entitled to support from Portage and Homestart but the Mum should be abe to claim Incapacity Benefit or something similar.

You are not being selfish at all- in fact you could do with thinking of yourself a bit more in my opinion!

They are entitled to a Social Worker from the Children With Disabilities branch of Social Services. The Social Worker can help them access help and support. Also, contact Mencap on behalf of the family. They will be very supportive and are used to dealing with families in such situations.