CM CLUB: Need some urgent advice

[PinkChick]

My new mindee of 3 weeks-having probs

mum signed contract for x hours...the day before contract was due to satrt she asked to change to y hours...ask if it will be max days at these hours(cos i wouldnt do them = 3 6.30-8pm), doesnt know...so i said we'll give it a try as i know shes stuck.

every week she has rang night before to change hours..now shes not used her fll contracted hours yet(and has paid as she should) but thats not the ppoint, im not getting any notice and am now working till8pm (or maybe later..see further down!) when i was due to finifh at 5.30........

this mornig, 8.10am this mindee is knocking at door, mum pushes her in????..i say shes not down for this morning?..mum yes yes she is i text you!(mum said last week that she 'may' need to drop her off before school but didnt know yet...that was it)
then she says ill be here asap tonight as i dont ACTUALLY finish till 8pm!!!..meaning what time will she get here????
She had no problems leaving her this morn, a half hearted oh sorry and off she went!.so...am very annoyed now, utter disregard and only 3 weeks in!

dp says i should have turned her away!...i cant even speak to her as she flys here in taxi knocks at door and rushes back out with her dd...so im going to haev to put something in writing, dp says give notice(still in 4 weeks trial as i extended from 2 weeks when she changed contract!), but if she will stopa rsing around and give me proper notice of hours/times etc, ill keep on, but am now doubting(tbh i always had a feeling it wouldnt work out as id had heads up from nursery!) wether i should keep her on, but then its losing the money????..we're ok right now, but am losing another afterschooly too, so will be a big dent if i give notice???arghhhh....what to do!

Get rid imo if you give notice now you can let her go without doing 4 weeks notice if you wait a week or two then you will have to do the notice period which will make it a total of at least 8 weeks of her messing you about.

How much chance is there of you being able to fill the space? If slim maybe you could keep her on and put up with her messing you about until you can fill the place?

Not sure if I can help with this really, but just wanted to give support as I can imagine how cross you are. It sounds like her life is a bit chaotic and I also wonder what her work must be like, it sounds horrible for her if they give her so little notice. I think what I would do is put it in writing (other than the contract) what times you expect to regulalry look after her dc and what the charge will be, then state that any extra hours that you mind for her which haven't been agreed verbally or in writing with you beforehand will be charged at double/time and a half or whatever you choose, but more so that it makes her think things through before last minute dumping exercise comes into play! I would also charge more (personally) for the hours after your normal working hours - I think most people would say that's not unreasonable. Good luck and hope you get it sorted out.

I agree with LMG, a trial period gives you the opportunity to finish someone straight away if either side is not happy, and I certainly wouldn't be happy to be treated like this.

Hi and thanks everyone, am very fired p and annoyed at moment and am writing letter/warning to her to say this cannot go on, i have detailed what we agreed and were she has totally disregarded that agreement.
i am telling her i will give her a form to fill in every week to show me the following weeks hours/days and this cannot be changed as i have other children and my own family to organise.

I am also going to say in it that i am extending her childs settling in period for an extra 2 weeks as we need to ensure these problems can be rectified other wise i wont be able to care for her child any more...

and will also put that regardless of what hours she pays for, if she is later than her agreed hours for that week, she will be charged (its 8pm fgs, the same time(she knows) my dd goes to bed, so rolling in at 8.20 knocks our routine all to pot)
...so help me phrase all thise please??

LMG, no, not much happening at min, so wouldnt be able to fill and losing other child as well, do ahev old mindee supposed to be coming back in sept, but thats 4 months away

Just rang CCP to update my records..i curently have mona dn tues off through day so may have to lose that(shame as i get loads done-cleaning/decorating/other stuff) but needs must and all..just hope something DOES come along

thing is i was mums only option(well she could have tried other cm's, but knows me already) nursery had stopped the early and lates as she messe them around too, so she ahs no one else to have her dd at these times!, youd think shed try and make it work/respect me a bit more

As i dont get to speak for more than 10 seconds on pick up or drop off, i have just given her a heads up that i am putting a letter in(i text her as phone is off while at work!) regarding hours etc...argh hate things like thsi, but i just CANT be taken the pi** out of again, its so annoying!

mum just replied to text asking if all ok..have said yes it should be, wbut we need to get some things cleared up.......??

You can't let this go on PC it does need sorting or she will be left without childcare again she needs to understand that you are being a lot more flexible than other cm's/ nurseries would be and it will be harder for her to replace you than vice versa.

you wont believe the call ive just had!, mum asking if we can talk while she free..so i eplain that her changing hours and dropping off when not arranged cant happen due to my own family, ratio's plans etc..she said i 'could have said no'!??? i replied that as her dd's cm i dont like to let people down but i also cant chop and chnage at last minute...she said i was being hostile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![shoc], i asked why, she said she sensed hostility!!!!!
i said all i need is for her to show some consideration and to give me hours ina dvance and more notice of changes and better communication so her dd isnt dropped of when not expecting it!..she said well she'd best take her dd elsewere then!!!!!!!!!!..a min later when she said "im at work(meaning YOU arn't!!!!) i cant deal with this(she rang me and whats to deal with other than saying yes i agree to giving you notice and communicating betetr?)..so i asked what she wanted to do then and she replied what do you mean, i said well you''ve just told me you'll look elsewere and if you cant stick to what we agreed in our contract then i think that is best..then she backttracked and said no she wanted her dd to stay and that she will try her best to give as much notice as poss!, so i said that as i hold ope her dd's hours of x till y , she can come those times, but these times or times inbetween MUST be arranged and cannot swap and change, i said that if she did want to stay then on the times she needs to change she shouldnt expect me to help.
we left it at that and agreed, but i was sooo tempted to say forget it..am going to ring nursery where she still goes to see if they can offer any help?

LOL!!! WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT!..just rang the nursery with whom shes still on books off for ocasional pick up(they gave me heads up in first place) said to manager on the QT could she give me a kind of reference over the phone??..she did.......and it wasnt good!!!!!!..then as we were chatting the mum walked into the nursery!..the mum who is meant to be working till 8pm tonight whilst i have her dd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..SOME PEOPLE!!!

Hmmm, I think I might ahve to go back on what I said earlier!

For your own sanity I think you ought to give her notice. She is behaving unreasonably and dishonestly. Trying to suggest that you are hostile for asking a perfectly normal question and when she was clearly lying through her teeth makes me think that she's more trouble than she's worth.

It's your home and your children's lives that she is impinging on. It might be a bit harsh but for their sake I don't think I'd want her around.

well her attitude to my request was apparently normal and has been known to be MUCH worse!!!!..im ringing them back shortly to see what she wanted, as if i need to guess!..wonder if the nursery WILl do the early and lates though(theyd had their fingers burned-by her- so stopped them!!???

well i was wrong!, she didnt discuss me or our agreement, just went in to pay some fees(which is apparently another issue for them!)..manager quizzed her and she said it wasa bit of a struggle but shes getting there....we shall see!
Oh and manager also said NO WAY would they do earlys or altes again!

PC, this sounds like a nightmare.

Balancing the needs of your family against the needs of the families we work with can be tricky, but there is really no excuse for this parent to be messing you around. Does she realise that you have ratios that you must abide by ?

Hope you get things sorted soon.

She does Ju, i had hard enough time trying to get them soted to enable her child to come, she was very sarcastic, saying Well how many times do you want me to say im sorry"!!..i said i dont want sorry, i want consideration and notice of any requested changes...ive already got this one as on way out in my head now(shame as LO is really lovely) and nursery manager agreed with me that we get no respect from parents...

Ach, give notice and get rid, it's going to play on your mind otherwise

am guna hand lthe letter to her tonight and tell her to read it to see i was bringing her attention to a problem, in no way being hostile and that if she now feels her requirements have changed to what we originally agreed and if she doesnt thikn i am able to give her what she now wants then she is free to take her dd elsewere as we are still in settling in period!!!

started my diet yesterday..have been DYING to snack today!!!!

Just picked up....wouldnt look me in eye until i more or less made her, i handed her the letter and the contracted hours record and said here is what i wrote to you, have a read now you done feel as defensive and you will see i was NOT being hostile, i was simply asking for notice and consideration..she kind of looked either embarressed or yeah yeah whatever..was looking past me for her dd ready to race of as norm!..i tried to tel her she was tired, what shed been doing etc, but it fell on deaf ears...some people eh!

I'm not sure if i'm maybe focussing on all the wrong bits but I'm not sure I'd send my child to a nursery where the staff's level of confidentiality was so low that they called other childcare staff to discuss the content of a parents conversation.

The reference I understand but really, I think the to-ing and fro-ing is all a bit playground-esque.

SAA, i had already been given snippets of info from sdtaff from nursery about the parent, so instead of getting the 'gossip' i went to the manager, its like asking a past employer for a reference, i wanted to find out wether my business or fee's were going to encounter problems by this person.