Widowed parent, autistic child, where to start with childcare

[Tarantella43]

I’m feeling quite burned out. I’m a sole parent to two DC, age 10 and 8. Ten year old DS is autistic, low support needs and can be very capable but struggles with emotional regulation. Both kids understandably are hugely focused on me and very demanding after losing their Dad a couple of years ago. I have no family support. My deceased husband’s family are all in Australia & I’ve only got my mum who can’t/won’t help out. DS doesn’t have any friends, so play dates are not an option. After school club at their school is only used by the very little kids, so DS doesn’t want to go to it. I need more in the way of regular help for my mental health. I could afford some paid childcare but not sure where to start. Are DC too old for a part time nanny? Could do with some help at weekends sometimes. Even the chance to have the very occasional night away if they got to know and trust someone.

Respite?

A good local babysitter is the answer. I had a young lady who was mid 20’s who used to help me out when we’re too young to be on their own but didn’t need too much looking after, my dd is autistic so rejected anyone who felt like childcare, my babysitter had more of a big sister/friend approach. I also had an excellent cleaner who helped with some school pick ups, again my dd accepted her as she was “only there because my younger dd needed to be collected from school” rather than childcare for her. Mind games basically.

another approach is an older person, perhaps someone like me who has brought up an autistic child who has now left home, we have the skill set and some may have both time and be looking for work as raising our kids has wrecked our working ability, I babysit my neighbours kids sometimes for instance.

Thanks, yes I think an older, experienced person could be ideal if I could find this!