Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

Original poster

what type of help would i need?

13 replies

girrafey · 31/05/2008 07:51

hi. not sure what type of help/ child care i would need to cover what i would like.
(also not sure if this is in the best section)

ok i have a dd who has just turned 3, and a ds who is 7 months, i am due again a month exactly after his first birthday. (this pregnancy was not planned) The problem i have is that my ds has Severe silent reflux, but sadly it is so bad he is seen monthly at the hospital, is on a teenagers meds as nothing else was strong enough and is failure to thrive after being 9.5 llbs at birth. he is in constant pain and has constant pain with wind. sounds silly i know but it is actually a big problem.

anyway, nights are hard. we cant lay him down for hours after feeding so he is effectively cuddled to sleep. so when we do transfer him he wakes, wont settle etc. at least 4-5 times a night i am up trying to settle him with the wind. peddling legs, walking and patting etc.

basically what i would like is someone who would come here at night to help in the later stages of pregnancy, and first couple of months after the birth. i want to try and breast feed this time so somone who is experiencd in this would be a bonus but not essential.

but i dont really have the room for anyone to sleep. i would also love it if that person could do a bit extra for me? maybe a load of washing/ ironing or empty dishwasher. never anything big.

so does anyone know who/ what i would need that would be willing to come in and help settle a 13 month old and or a new born. ( 3 year old not a problem) but wouldnt have a bedroom as such to sleep in. ( dont mind napping on sofa at all)

To me this person would be worth their weight in gold! but does this job exist so to speak?

any ideas would be great as i am geting myself stressed about how i am going to cope. i get 3- 4 hours a night now, and i go to bed between 8-9 to settle ds. i cant see how i can manage to function if i am feeding new born etc aswell.

sorry its soooooo long.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Lucy87 · 31/05/2008 07:55

I expect many live out maternity nurses would do this if the money were right. As long as it wasn't every night - but would be enough to give you a break / some sleep wouldn't it?

Original poster

girrafey · 31/05/2008 07:58

well every night would be ideal but think i will need to sell my house to afford that for 4 months!!! was thinking maybe 2 nights each for 2 maternity nurses for the crucial first month. maybe one would be interested in doing 2-3 nights for 4 months?

has anyone had/know a maternity nurse would love to have their opinions.

OP posts:

dizzydixies · 31/05/2008 08:03

would a doula help you in any way? there are several on here who could advise re exactly what their role could be

sorry your wee one is going through this, sounds horrible for him and you

Original poster

girrafey · 31/05/2008 08:40

thanks for your replies. i had thought of a doula, but i really only want help at night. and i dont think that they work at night and think they are more temporary than a maternity nurse. though to be honest if someone was nice and willing to do this then i wouldnt care what their title was!!!

it is hard, and trying to explain it is very hard. he is adorable though. as is my dd. worried what monster i am going to get for my 3rd!!! lol

OP posts:

imananny · 31/05/2008 09:41

you need a night nanny - these are normally qualified nannies who have a daily job and are looking for extra money so work nights ( i do this when feeling poor)

a maternity nurse normally does 24hrs, and would expect to live in - very rare to find a daily one, as otherwise there are really just being a nanny and looking after nb

are oh/relatives/friends any help?

Anna8888 · 31/05/2008 09:45

I think first of all you should employ a cleaner to deal with all your ironing and maybe do some housework.

Cleaning and childcare (especially night nursing) are not the same skill set at all.

Then you could employ someone specialised in baby care for the nights.

Surreynanny · 31/05/2008 09:48

I do this sort of work and can be contacted on surreynanny at hotmail dot cok dot uk. I am off on holiday on the 4th of june but if you contact me before then I'll come back to you or check my website www.surreynanny.com , but use this contact email not the linked one. Hope this helps. Oh and I've lots of experience with reflux, both silent and classic.

laura032004 · 31/05/2008 09:55

Just to give you a ray of hope, my DS2 had severe silent reflux. At 7m (I probably posted about it then), it has horrific, and I was starting to think he would be one of the very rare children who continued with it for a long time. We were seeing consultants etc, but as he was bf, it was v.difficult to get him to take any medications - he just threw up after we'd given them to him. He didn't have any solids (or at least have any and not be very sick) until he was over a year old. However, once he started walking, the reflux did seem to stop overnight. Unfortunately, he was a late walker, so we were about 14m I think before it all stopped, but when it did, he was a different child. Started sleeping, eating.... So many people on different threads that I started said the same - once they start walking, it does stop.

He's still not an easy child, I think he's been 'loved' a bit much as a result of the reflux - got used to demand feeding (still does at nearly 2), being held a lot, very clingy and quick to cry. Perhaps this is just him anyway, but I suspect that the way we had to handle him because of the reflux, has exaggerated it at the very least.

Anyway, hopefully your DS will walk before the third baby comes along, and that will help enormously.

hertsnessex · 31/05/2008 10:37

Amyjo, I have done a job similar to this for a lady in london with me and another doula alternating nights. Why not look on www.doula.org.uk under 'find a doula' and contact some in your area and ask them.

Original poster

girrafey · 31/05/2008 10:59

thank you all for your replies.

IMANANNY i thought that if someone was working in the day they would want a bed to sleep in between settling children at night. family are around but both sets of parents still work, so not feasable for continious help at night. but very much helpful in the day.

ANNA i know cleaning and child care are different. but dont want a cleaner, just someone with a bit of kindness really. eg. oh the dishwasher has finished i could unload it to help etc. that really is a bonus though.( dont know why i put ironing as it isnt even one of my jobs!!)

SURREYNANNY you sound ideal. i would hire you today if it wasnt for the fact that i know you wouldnt work for us as you would have a good 2 hour commute!!! but thank you for giving me hope that people like you exist. can i just ask you, if we were in your area. would you be interestd in a 4 month position? i could be flexible every week with what nights so that you could still do your other work etc.. can you think of any reasons why you would or wouldnt take this job. any pointers at all would be great.

LAURA. thanks for posting your experience. it is very hard isnt it. ds is never sick as he has silent reflux, the back of his throat is so raw. at the moment he is very behind developmentally. he is only just controling his hands, grabbing etc and starting to have power in his neck. but he is happy and babbles away. counting down the days till it is easier without counting them away!!

OP posts:

imananny · 31/05/2008 14:05

a night nanny would prefer a bed, but I wouldnt object to kipping on a sofa - its not as if it is every night or permament

nbee84 · 31/05/2008 15:33

Could you borrow one of those pull out type beds? I think you can get them in single size. If you don't know anyone with one maybe it's something you could invest in for future use or you could sell it on ebay afterwards. You can then pop it into your sons room so that the carer is on hand for him through the night.

chloemegjess · 31/05/2008 17:56

I was going to suggest a pull out bed too. Maybe a single futon? Do you have the space for that?

I know you say you don't want a cleaner, but surely if you had all your housework done for you, you could then catch up on all your sleep when the babies are sleeping etc? Sorry if thats not what you want, just thinking it would be a cheaper alternative?

What area are you in?

Flip