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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

First time employing nanny - need to ask if I should pay nanny for drop-in groups?

34 replies

greenday · 28/05/2008 12:48

Firstly, to everyone who responded to my previous thread about finding childcare, just wanted to say THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! I've learnt a lot and this has enabled me to find a nanny that I am comfortable and confident about.

Today is my first day at work (yes, typing this at lunchtime and in secret!!) ... my nanny has taken my DD and DS to music playgroup this morning.

Not sure what the protocol / ettiquette here is - should I pay for it? She has her DD with her so I think she was planning to go anyway for her DD.

Thanks!

OP posts:

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Anna8888 · 28/05/2008 12:50

Yes, of course you should pay for everything she does with your children.

Whooosh · 28/05/2008 12:51

Should definitely pay for any activities your DD attends.
You may find it easier to put say £20 a week in a "nanny purse" to pay for any activities/drinks when out etc.

Tutter · 28/05/2008 12:51

yes you should pay for all her out-of-pocket expenses

same as any employer woulkd

Anna8888 · 28/05/2008 12:52

Have a little box with a notebook and some petty cash in it. Nanny can take out cash as she needs it and note down what she spends.

AtheneNoctua · 28/05/2008 12:58

I think you should give her a reasonable amount to spend on a monthly basis. You should pay for the activities she takes your kids to, but she should not be given free reign to dent your account as much as she likes. I have a live-in nanny and she gets each month:

£70 to spend as she likes
A Greater London bus pass
£30 towards her mobile phone
I pay for all prearranged activities (tennis, ballet, etc.)
Anything else they do (i.e. drop in play groups, trip to zoo, transportation outside the bus pass, etc. is to come out of the £70)

I also give her a membership to the gym where the kids take tennis. This is not a required extra for a nanny. I do it because I want a nanny who is interested in a healthful lifestyle so I use a gym membership to attract that sortr of person to the job.

Original poster

greenday · 28/05/2008 12:58

THANK YOU ... that's great advice, and great idea about nanny purse/box with notebook. xx

OP posts:

Original poster

greenday · 28/05/2008 13:00

Wow, Athena.., that's quite a lot, but I guess with a live-in nanny in London, that's the deal. I'm only working one-day-a-week though ...
Thanks for giving me an idea of costs.

OP posts:

AtheneNoctua · 28/05/2008 13:01

Oh, and you mentioned she has a daughter. You should not be expected to pay for the daughter.

AtheneNoctua · 28/05/2008 13:03

Oh, then I'd give about £5/day. Some days will be more. Some less. Should balance out.

Anna8888 · 28/05/2008 13:05

I think paying for the daughter is a moot point. If you are obliging the nanny to go somewhere, you must meet her out-of-pocket expenses - I would include the daughter in that. Otherwise you might find nanny is reluctant to do as much as you would like her to do with your children.

Romy7 · 28/05/2008 13:06

we had a jam jar in the kitchen cupboard with £30 in as slush fund - and gave her additional for petrol as required - I'm guessing that athene's nanny is live-in, and yours is live-out... otherwise, all the nannies would want to work for athene, and none for me....

AtheneNoctua · 28/05/2008 13:12

Anna, a nanny who brings her own child is generally regarded as a nanny share with the nanny. The nanny's child is the nanny's responsibility.

Also, I think there is a difference between the employer telling nanny to go to play group x on WEdnesday morning and the nanny deciding herslef that that will be the activity for the day.

If nanny decides to stop for lunch on the way home, then the employer should pay for nanny's meal and child's meal, but not nanny's child's meal.

This is genreally the accepted practice. It can get rather complicated on who should pay for what. So I suggest just a set rate of expenses each month and let nanny decide where and how to spend them (within reason of course).

AtheneNoctua · 28/05/2008 13:14

Yes, my nanny is live-in. She works five long days and certainly earns any perks I can afford to offer her.

Anna8888 · 28/05/2008 13:19

Athena - like I said, it's a moot point.

Is it reasonable for an employer to impose an expensive activity upon her nanny, to meet the nanny's out-of-pocket expenses but not the nanny's accompanying child, when the nanny has no option but to comply? No.

If the employer wants to take all decisions concerning her children's activities, she needs to decide where the nanny has to meet her child's expenses (under a certain £ threshold) and where the employer should, IMVHO. And this needs to be written into the contract with the nanny.

AtheneNoctua · 28/05/2008 13:31

"Is it reasonable for an employer to impose an expensive activity upon her nanny, to meet the nanny's out-of-pocket expenses but not the nanny's accompanying child, when the nanny has no option but to comply? No."

1- I don't think a drop in play group qualifies as an "expensive activity".

2- You have made an assumption that the employer imposed this activity upon nanny. Perhaps she did? But, then again, perhaps nanny took it upon herself to go to the playgroup.

I think if an employer says "takke DD to Arty tots today" then employer should be prepared to hand over the fee for attending arty tots today. But, if there is a kitty in the kitchen and nanny decide to go to arty tots, then the cost should come out of the kitty. And if there is not enough in the kitty to cover it, then the trip to arty tots needs approval from the employer before they go to Arty tots.

Anna8888 · 28/05/2008 13:36

Athene - I was not making a comment about the activity in the OP but a general point about how the employer should think about meeting her employee's expenses moving forward.

FWIW, my daughter sometimes gets looked after by a friend's nanny in the afternoon. On those afternoons, I decide on the activity and I pay for everyone (nanny, my friends children and my daughter) to do it. That is the deal I have. Not saying you must do it that way, but morally as decision maker I think I should.

AtheneNoctua · 28/05/2008 13:40

Anna, I think you are comparing apples and oranges. You friend pays the nannies salary, probably liing costs, etc. I'd say you have a cush deal if you are just paying for the activities.

But, you are missing the point that his is a nanny share. I'm not making this up. This is generally how it works in the UK. Your expereince in France may or may not be different. And you may know more than I do about a variety of subjects, but employing a nanny in the UK is not one of them.

Anna8888 · 28/05/2008 13:41

No, I pay the nanny on those afternoons.

AtheneNoctua · 28/05/2008 13:43

Ah, you pay the salary too. That's probably fair then. But, still it's not the same thing because neither of the children involved belong to the nanny.

Anna8888 · 28/05/2008 13:43

You are American, are you not?

AtheneNoctua · 28/05/2008 13:44

shhh... don't tell anyone.

Anna8888 · 28/05/2008 13:45

I think it's a similar issue - the decision-maker pays for everyone who must comply.

So - in my case (by prior arrangement however with the other parent) - I pay the nanny (she gets to make some extra cash) and I pay for the activities I decide on for everyone.

I could decide they should all go to the (free) park every week. I can also decide they are all going to go to the cinema and for goûter at Ladurée.

Anna8888 · 28/05/2008 13:50

(btw it's a great deal for everyone concerned - I get totally flexible childcare, and the other family get to keep on a full-time nanny they would otherwise not be able to justify since I am subsidising her wages)

AtheneNoctua · 28/05/2008 13:58

Yes, it does sound like a win-win situation.

Anyway, I think you and I have demonstrated the complications that can arrive and proven the the OP will have an easier life if she just asks nanny for an average expense per day cost and hand that over to the nanny.

Anna8888 · 28/05/2008 14:05

I think that the big advantage of your system, Athene, is there is a fixed monthly budget for activities (which also sets a budget for the nanny's child, which she can then anticipate).

The advantage of pay as you go with no budget is that the employer has free rein of decision making on all activities and if he/she chooses to indulge the children, that's possible.

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