Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

Original poster

i feel like firing the nanny - help....

12 replies

silvermum · 28/05/2008 10:29

My relationship with our nanny is at breaking point.
She is excellent with DS (10months) which is why i keep giving her the benefit of the doubt, because he is the most important person in all this.
But there are issues with her time keeping and her being rude to me.
yesterday she turned up hour and a quarter late for work - arriving at 10.15am! This put out my whole day and I was very upset indeed. We'd given her Friday off to spend a long weekend in Dublin and she didn't travel back until the Tuesday morning and miscalculated how long it would take to get from heathrow to us. She never warned us she was trying to come back the same day as coming to work so we weren't prepared for it.
She was apologetic but started arguing with me when I said i'd like to see an improvement in her timekeeping in general as she's often a bit late. She insisted it was only a one off.
Anyway, I asked her to come in at 8am this morning to make up the lost hour - and she overslept!! My husband rang her at 8.45am and she was still in bed.
I don't know how to deal with this. on the one hand i feel totally upset and insulted - it's like she didn't really care about screwing up yesterday. If i had screwed up at work one day, i certainly wouldn't be doing it again the next.
Once again my morning has been messed up.
And yet she is good with DS, it's no joke finding a replacement, and nobody's perfect, etc etc etc. She is only 22 and this is her first serious job.
Should I just get over it?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Buda · 28/05/2008 10:32

No - don't get over it. She is 22 and old enough to realise that no matter what job she is in she needs to be on time.

A would give her a verbal warning and tell her one more strike and she is out. Not sure where you stand legally on that - am sure someone more knowledgable will be along soon. You may have to follow a verbal warning with a written one.

Whooosh · 28/05/2008 10:34

I personally could not cope with the unreliability.
If she can screw up on something as simple as timekeeping-what else could she screw up.

The arguing doesn't sound good.

I would get rid.

WideWebWitch · 28/05/2008 10:35

No, verbal and written warning and fire her. That's what I'd do.

AtheneNoctua · 28/05/2008 10:40

She would be in very deep very hot water if she was my nanny. I get a bit ansy when my nanny walks into my room at 6:35 instead of 6:30. (She does this consistently so maybe my clock is 5 minutes fast )

If she showed up an hour late and I was therefore an hour late for work, I would be very angry indeed -- especially if no one very close to her had died that morning.

To do it again the next day is inexcusable and most certianly worthy of a written warning.

We all know what happens on the third time.

And the rudeness and denial of having done before is also not on.

How long has she worked for you? Is she still in a probation period?

ArriettyClock · 28/05/2008 10:48

It's just like any other role re timekeeping, isn't it?
If you're consistently late for any job, you would get warnings and then you would get fired if you didn't improve.
The fact that she is good with your child is a bit of a red herring, if she's not actually there to care for him when she is supposed to be!
Sounds like her attitude is all wrong - to argue with you when you were asking her to improve her timekeeping is very disrespectful.

BeauLocks · 28/05/2008 10:53

Get rid of her. She's showing you no repsect whatsoever. I would not countenance employing a nanny who showed me such a lack of respect. You will find someone else, I promise.

Give her a written warning today and tell her to come in for a couple of hours on Saturday to make up for her lateness this week. She probably won't come in but at least you'll be able to sack her for not turning up.

Good luck. It's hideous but you cannot employ someone who behaves like this.

squiffy · 28/05/2008 11:01

I have learnt from experience to never never never give the benefit of the doubt because "she is good with the kids". Guess what I've found? Everyone I have employed (3 AP's, 2 nannies) has turned out to be good with the kids. If you yourself are getting stressed/angry then you need to do something and not let it ride. Don't treat them any differently than you yourself would expect to be treated in your own job. IE professionally. Try very hard to ignore the emotional undercurrent that makes you feel a little beholden to them.

Long way of saying give her a written warnign and then get rid if she doesn't improve.

nannynick · 28/05/2008 11:14

Reliability is a key requirement for a live-out nanny. I am known for my timekeeping... I am usually 10-15 minutes early.

Her first serious job - does that mean that previous jobs were not serious?
We all learn about the importance of arriving on time for things, back when we are at school. If we miss registration, school isn't happy.
When we get our first Saturday job, or other part-time job, we quickly learn that if you don't arrive on time, you don't get paid, and repeated failure to arrive on time, gets you fired. By the age of 22, I would have thought she would have learned this by now.

Make it very clear to her that it is unacceptable and start the disciplinary procedure.

Original poster

silvermum · 28/05/2008 13:20

nannynick, it's her first full time job...
i've had a long chat with her now. she was tearful and apologetic again. I've made it clear it's her last chance. i'm glad to hear that i'm not mad and bad for the way i feel.
it's very hard not to let emotions get in the way of a cool head in these circumstances.

OP posts:

mummypoppins · 28/05/2008 13:30

well done silvermum...its a very hard thing to do and you have handled it head on which is not easy.

Most of us me included run busy professional lives and yet turn to jelly when it comes to matters of children and childcare!

we are all here to support.

Original poster

silvermum · 28/05/2008 13:41

thanks..i feel totally drained!
re. earlier post, just in case anyone gets the wrong end of the stick, i didn't mean to suggest that part time jobs aren't serious. silly choice of words.

OP posts:

imananny · 28/05/2008 18:23

i am sure that yesterday was a miscalcuation - m25 can be a nightmare BUT a phone call and a real sorry , i am sure would have gone a long way.

To then be late again today, and due to over sleeping is very unprofessional

A verbal warning is in order, and then say if it happens again, a written warning will be given, and then notice.

A nanny should relises that if they are late, then obviously their mb/db will be late for their work, and makes them look unreliable sa well

Flip