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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Ds cries at the sight of the CM - please reassure me that this will stop

11 replies

OrangeKnickers · 27/05/2008 15:25

He is 11mths and has been to the CM about five times for the day. He will be going to her four times a week soon. Last time we arrived at her house and he took one look at her and burst into tears.

When I picked him up he was OK, and she said he had been OK.

He does cry when I leave him at a local creche sometimes.

How long did it take other children to get used to their CMs? I think she's really nice and like her but if ds doesn't I will have to think again.

Help.

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freakypenguin · 27/05/2008 15:30

yes - totally normal. my ds cried at sight of childminder at 11 months when we did settling in - but he would always stop crying after about 10 mions or so. He got over it after about 2 months. he was only going for a day and a half so it took longer to settle in thn if he was going every day.

it's nothing to do with the cm - just initial separation anxiety.

it makes you feel terrible to leave them crying, but it gets better - honestly.

freakypenguin · 27/05/2008 15:30

mins!

PinkChick · 27/05/2008 15:38

Aw..they cry because its new/they know mummy is going to work etc now, there are different things/rles/toys here that they dont fully understand.
He WILL be fine..does your cm do a daily diary? if not ask for one..ask for a text after youve left(i always sent a photo from mobile to parents if child has been upset on dropping off..i have one gorgeous little 116 month old girl and when i collect her from home..she runs out, cant wait to come...when mum drops her off, she gets really upset!..no logic..just persist and dont let thems ee you worry, they will 'grow out of it' shortly

PinkChick · 27/05/2008 15:39

she is 16 month NOT 116 monthsDOH!

Original poster

OrangeKnickers · 30/05/2008 13:36

thank you pinkchick and penguin. He did it again today. I am sure he'll be fine. If he goes three-four times a week then how long would you expect for him to grow out of it?

OP posts:

PinkChick · 30/05/2008 20:33

2 weeks?..an old mindee of mine who was one of my best freidnds dd's used to throw a huge wobbler everytime her mum used to leave!!!..she used to stay(as dd's friend) overnight..but when mum left her on 'proffesional' basis all hell broke loose!..i tried diff tactics, like meeting her outside(either outside my door or more often outside the school) change of scenery took her mind off it after a while, she was more interested wondering what was happening around her..also on occasion when my current littly tries to wrap mum round her finger now..i have cheese and yogurts to hand, both of which she lurves and happily waves bye bye to mummy and heads off to kitchen with me..ask you cm to do things like this or get her to suggest, its justa little apttern your LO has got into, a break in the pattern will stop it..good luck

PinkChick · 30/05/2008 20:34

BTW that was 2 weeks if nothing changes..less if you/your cm use diversion tactics

chankins · 30/05/2008 20:43

I have had mindees do this, and it does depend how often they come as to when they will stop doing it, ie they get used to things quicker if they are at the cm more often. Every mindee I had that cried when being left always stopped once they knew the door was closed and mum had left. iT does help to think of food/toys etc that they love to distract them, ie I had one girl who was obsessed with play-do and the mention of the word dried her tears in a second. I had a mindee start a few weeks ago and cried the first few time,s then the next day said to his mummy 'ok, you go now'. I think she was as chuffed as I was !
Don't worry, it will all work out fine.

Original poster

OrangeKnickers · 02/06/2008 08:06

tahnk you again. I will see how it goes. Today is the first day off him going all day for 3-4 days so it should stop fairly soon.

I don't want to change cms at all but at what point do you think I should consider it if he still isn't happy? I only say this coz if I think about it, I won't have to do it whereas if I don't think about I might have to, IYSWIM.

OP posts:

Berryred · 02/06/2008 19:57

aww hun, does your childminder say how long he cries for?

I used to have a lo cry, but by the time mum left was fine, a few days of her sneaking a looky in the back window soon set her mind at rest, maybe try this hth
xx

Original poster

OrangeKnickers · 05/06/2008 09:37

had a chat with cm yesterday and am feeling much better. I explained that I was an over anxious mother of a pfb and she totally understtod. She's going to do a activity list each day so I know what he's up to and so I can match her rountine on the days I have have him.

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