Breaking up with my childminder…

[Mustard7]

This probably sounds trivial but I feel so awkward and guilty.

My little one has started childcare as I’m back to work full time. He does 2 days at nursery at 3 with a childminder.

Nursery is much easier. Longer hours, flexible drop offs and all food/milk etc included.

The childminder is lovely and I can tell is building a bond with my child but making bottles up and packed lunches etc is really inconvenient. I know that sounds lazy but it’s how I feel. I work long hours and I find myself looking forward to nursery days because it’s easier prep.

I’ve enquired with nursery about my son starting full time in September and they’ve got a place for him.

I just don’t know how to tell the childminder without offending her. I’ve considered pretending my mum or husband are dropping their hours down but lying seems a bit OTT.

How can I tell her without offending her? Is a months notice (end of July/August) sufficient or shall I rip the band aid off and tell her sooner? We don’t have a contract.

I'd give her as much notice as possible. Sounds like she's been lovely, and your child likes her, so the more notice she has the easier it is to fill your spot. I'd just say that child adores her but logistically nursery is proving to be easier, especially if someone else has to do the prep for drop off.

I used to be a childminder and I wouldn't have been offended at all by you doing what makes your life easier! Absolutely tell her asap so she has plenty of time to sort out a new starter.
You really don't need to lie though, just say that you're finding nursery easier/a better fit/suits you better and they'll start full time in Septemer.

September is probably a good time for her to find new children . I'd tell her soon so she has plenty of notice . If tell her it's just because the logistics of the nursery hours are easier.

Just tell her the truth. That having all your childcare hours at the nursery suits your family instead

Be honest and tell her with as much notice as possible so she can fill the place.

Yes tell her it's fine, just be honest, to be honest with the funding changes childminders are busy busy

Thank you everyone. I will see her on Monday and rip off the band aid. Just feel awful about it like I’m being ungrateful and snubbing her but I’m probably overthinking it.

Definitely overthinking. I know she's providing a more personal service in some ways than a nursery but it is still a business arrangement.

You're overthinking it.

"Hey childminder,

X will start nursery full time in September so won't need his place anymore.

Thanks for the amazing care you gave him, seeing him thrive here made going back to work so much easier"

You don't owe her an explanation or anything. She is a choldminder, she knows that at some point, children will go to nursery/school.

I agree with PPs.
also it’s not like you’re letting her go because of something personal like disliking her, it’s literally just logistics so there is no hard feelings there

Whilst easier for you now, do think about the longer term and why you chose to split between a childminder & nursery. Five days a week at the same venue with pretty much the same children is a long time however much they mix up the toys and things. A childminder offers a very different experience
Giving notice now for a September finish is ideal as then the cm can spend the last couple of weeks of term finding someone to take your son’s space. She will still be seeing people at the school gate and at baby groups to spread the word - if she doesn’t have a waiting list already that is. It also means that parents came visit and see a typical day with her rather than a day in the summer holidays when she might have older children or be doing more outings.

Definitely tell her now enquires are already coming in for September and being turned away by August it maybe too late.

You might not owe her an explanation, but I'd find that message really rude!
The childminder has just spent time and effort to settle a baby in, so no you wouldn't expect them to go to nursery so soon. That message makes it sound like the childminder was just used as a placeholder until nursery became available.

I'd speak to her in person, and say that you are finding the nursery days logistically easier and you don't have prep anything and the hours are longer. That's a totally understandable reason to switch.

You won’t offend her by telling her the truth. She’s a professional, and she will understand that a nursery set up will suit some family’s circumstances better.

I did this, for very similar reasons. pack lunches sent me over the edge 😂.

I would be honest though about reasons and that they’ll be doing nursery full time.

it went down ok, but our childminder had a lengthy notice period, which I hadn’t clocked!

Why make up bottles? Send the formula and bottles to be made up as needed. How much lunch does a baby need? You could send a week's worth. Much better to know what a young baby is eating anyway.

She's running a business op, she probably does adore your ds but at the same time she'll soon enough fill his spot with another child. You need to do what works best for your family.
Although don't give more than the notice on your contract or you might find yourself with a gap before your nursery place becomes available! especially if she's got a waiting list.

That’s what the childminder asks me to do. Bottles made up ready and a daily packed lunch.

Yes, you’re right. Thank you.

The nursery place is confirmed for September. I work term time hours so I only need childcare til the end of July. I’m going to pluck up the courage and tell her this week.

Mixing up.bottles and packing lunches is ridiculous, goodness.