Working from home while nanny looks after your child

[Cinai2]

If you do this, does it work for you? I hear DS crying next door and after a couple of minutes I just can’t stop myself from going to check on him. I don’t get any work done and I think my nanny will quit soon because (understandably) she’s getting annoyed at me bursting in all the time and taking DS from her or interfering with how she’s doing things. But it goes against all my natural instincts to not go to DS when I can hear that he’s very upset. Do I just need to work in a cafe so that I can’t hear him while he’s with the nanny? But then I’m quite worried about what’s going on at home and I can’t focus on work either. I really don’t want to lose my job but I’m afraid that’s where I’m heading to with our current set up.

There must be a co-working space you can use for those days OP. and they usually charge (if anything) per month so you can cancel and go back to working at home when the baby is in nursery. But this isn't fair on anyone.

Nannies hate this. I’m surprised she took on a job in the first place where a parent works from home.

I had a nanny for my kids since my son was 1 year old and the other was a newborn (they are 6 & 4 now). Absolutely DO NOT GO. Not only does it confuse your baby, they will struggle so much with separation anxiety. You need to act as if you are leaving for work, say goodbye, and do not appear again until is time to “return home”. Trust me on this one, you are shooting yourself in the foot if yiur baby knows you are there. I used to have our nanny message me when it was “safe” for me to go out my room so I can grab food or whatever (when baby was sleeping or occupied in another room).

You can’t work from home, simple

Not wishing to sound odd, but your child will smell you and feel your presence. Even at 10 months, I think he isn't settling because he knows you are about! You need to work from elsewhere.

Babies dont starve themselves.
Let him moan a bit, Nanny is there with his lunch- he wont go hungry. BUT what he will learn is that if he grizzles mummy will comeand give it to him

He will do exactly the same at nursery, but you wont be there with the spoon to console him. Let him and nanny bond.

I'd be really annoyed if I were the nanny. You're the reason baby won't eat when she's around! I understand your attachment and feelings though.

Feeling rather sorry for the nanny, you must be driving her crazy! Get out of the house!

It’s also at a peak separation anxiety age

Didn’t work for us. We had two nannies and struggled both times. Ds has been at nursery nearly 2 years and it’s better all round.

And this is exactly why nannies hate parents working from home.

Your being at home and popping in and out is making your baby nervous and confused here. Either give up working and parent at home or work from elsewhere and give their relationship a chance to establish.

While your motherly instincts say you must intervene, it also undermines the job that your Nanny should be doing. Your child needs to understand that the Nanny has the authority to control and guide her while you are away. So if you have a Nanny and you are working from home, make sure to let the Nanny do her work and only focus on what you're doing. Let them figure out the dynamics between them and see after a few weeks if there's any changes.

Honestly, not sure how great your nanny sounds if there's prolonged crying and she can't get him to eat. I agree the set up isn't right, but our nanny had pretty action packed days planned for my children, and she'd normally be put for several hours and just be home for food and naps maybe, or a structured activity (at 10 mths that might be tricky, but she can still set up sensoryplay etc). I could wfh because they were out having fun, and when they were home they were pretty happy. Our nanny would also bring me a cup of tea in the office etc, and we'd all eat lunch together- I quite liked it. I was in the office 3 or 4 days a week though, so only home sporadically.

It’s really hard at that age for a child to settle knowing mummy is next door esp if you keep barging in and interfering and undeminding

as that’s what you are doing

covid killed nannying imo

before covid parents rarely worked at home

now most jobs have one parent at home 2/3 days a week

get nanny to go out more. M&T. Swim. Messy play - music etx

don’t go in if you hear crying. As hard as it is as makes it so much harder for child and nanny

Never had an issue tbh. But the lady we have onboard with us lives in. She does part time hrs. So she’s become part of our little family unit (me and LO).

So that could be why it works, as LO see’s her as part of her extended house environment and always see’s her about I guess.

Her and I work as a team and often can be both around at meal times if she’s with LO or I’m making a coffee when having work break.

I guess how kids react to being with them and parents being around can be different in a different household set up.

I heard some in her role don’t like parents being around or in our case, ‘parent’ around. And I can understand that. But for us, it means I can help out here and there when two sets of hands are better than one, or when she needs the loo and I’m not on phone or doing something important that needs my attention there and then, I’ll watch LO. As god only knows, what it’s like needing the loo when a LO is tearing around and you just want 5 mins to yourself! 😮‍💨

Or if she’s out with LO and on way back home she often pings me a message and I’ll get LO’s food ready if she’s pre warning me LO’s coming home tired and hangry 😅

For us, it works really well. And she isn’t phased that I’m about. We work well as a tag team tbh

kids cry more when they know parents are at home and its so much harder for you all. if you have another choice of where to work, it will be easier but you are making it harder for the nanny and child, and yourself, you said youirself abut risking your job) if you keep bursting in, how can the nanny control the situation, why wouldnt the kid learn to stop crying if it brings mummy in. this isnt going to work long term, for any of you. as for nursery, maybe it will be better for you, but then you may have to learn to walk away from crying at drop off and you will still be distracted wondering if they have stopped.