Lots of questions about Au Pairs

[chloemegjess]

Hello, very new to this as its a new idea (working out the plan for end of mat leave).

If you have/had an au pair, what sort of things do they do, aside childcare?

What do you need to provide for them?

How much do you have to pay them, on top of bed and food?

Has anybody had an Au Pair while they are working from home?

Are they all CRB checked? ie are they safe?

Sorry, I know these are probably silly questions, especially as I work in childcare! But its just something I have never really thought about.

If you have/had an au pair, what sort of things do they do, aside childcare?

Mine does very little childcare, but mainly helps with light day to day housework. She does occasionally look after the DS's whilst they are playing out, but that's about it. She also babysits up to twice a week.

What do you need to provide for them?

In what sense? Ours has her own room with a bed, drawers, wardrobe, dressing table, TV, radio. She brought her own laptop.

How much do you have to pay them, on top of bed and food?

£60 per week. But there are other extras - I allow 'reasonable' use of the phone using the 1p per minute numbers, extra electricity and gas (often she cooks for herself as she likes to eat a few hours later than me), breakages (!), extra food which you wouldn't otherwise have bought, extra entrance fees if you go out to visit somewhere...

Has anybody had an Au Pair while they are working from home?

I don't work (SAHM), so I suppose I do in a sense.

Are they all CRB checked? ie are they safe?

Mine isn't CRB checked. I'm sure you could do this somehow, but you'd really need to get a CRB check for their home country too. I think most people rely upon references. Safe? I suppose you are only going with your instinct. AP's aren't meant to have any sole charge, although often they do have some for school aged children (who can obviously relay any problems back to their parents more easily).

Au pairs - what a minefield!

Basically it's a lottery - you don't know if you will like them until they get here. References don't mean a lot tbh - there's always someone prepared to say they're fantastic - but will you and your dcs like them? Never heard of anyone CRB checking an au pair before but I suppose you could find a way.

They will need their own room (here they had their bathroom too). They have a maximum number of hours they can 'work' for you (25pw or 30 for au pair plus) and 2 clear days off. I worked this out as 5 hours per day Mon-Fri and they usually did 1 or 2 hours before school and the rest after school. The rest of the day is their own, usually to go to college. (Some people pay for that too.)

I didn't mind them using the phone and the computer.

We are thinking about getting an au-pair when i cut my hours in September.

Could they look after DD (nearly 2) whilst DH works from home 2 days a week ? Or does that count as sole charge. £60 a week does'nt sound like much does anyone pay more for more hours ? Currently I work full time so we have a nanny, but will not be able to afford that when I go part time. DS will be at school so nursery is less pratical for us

There's no legal restriction on au pairs having sole charge - no sole charge of under 2s or under 3s variously gets thrown around but it's no more than a guideline. I was an au pair in my early twenties, first with sole charge of a 1 year old for 30 hours a week, then also of 2 under 2 for three ten hour days a week while the parent worked from home.

Basically, I'd say it depends on the individual au pair as to whether they're capable of sole charge - age, experience, references etc.

Thanks DD is quite an easy going little thing and DH can be disturbed if necessary so I think it would be ok. can anyone reccomend an agency or website ? When would you start looking for a september start ?

Try aupairworld.net, that's where I found my jobs from anyway. I'd say no harm starting now for a September start, as gap year types will be just finishing school/uni and thinking about what to do for the next year.

My advice to the you chloemegjess (fab name, btw!) would be to read some of the au pair threads which have excellent advice. Having an ap is an eye opener and the experience has its good and bad points. I found our first (current) one myself using a website but I'm using an agency for the next and future (if there are any) aps. If you want to have an agency recommendation then CAT me or leave a message here and I'll CAT you.

My agency lady said that those looking for a Sept start are coming on stream now and also, the language classes are filling up in my local town now so if I don't register my next ap soon, she may not be able to take advantage of the free local classes which are available.

laura is right about all the extra expenses. £60 a week might not sound like much but if you remember that the ap is having all meals and drinks at home provided (and can take a packed lunch for days out), that accommodation is provided, that costs are up by one extra adult for family trips to the cinema, attractions etc, then it mounts up. Then there is the question of whether the ap comes on holiday with you etc etc.

Simply - thanks for that. And the name comes from my cats! ie I have 3 cats, Chloe, meg and Jess!!! Lol.

welcome back chloemegjess! - I've had good/bad experiences with APs - however, one thing I would say is do not go into it thinking it is an easy/cheap option. It certainly isn't. In addition to the extra financial expense as others have highlighted, there is extra time/effort involved. It really is like having an extra daughter to look after that you have to cook for/show around/etc. Plus APs aren't meant to have sole charge of under 3s. Mind you, I've had some wonderful APs who I didn't mind investing time/money into. My dds are still reaping the benefits of this investment and will do, for years to come.

Hello. I would say that it is a cheaper option when you compare it to nannies or childminders for more than one child. Ours have all had sole charge of my ds's for two or three days a week and they are 2 and 3. Helping in the kitchen and hoovering I see as part of living in our house so not included in the hours (25-30).

I'd say that going through an agency adds a lot to the expense and they can't do anything more you can - search, check references etc. Tbh I agree with the person who says that references are a bit of a waste of time. We went through a website called newaupairs.com. Then we emailed and chatted on the phone, sometimes to the partents as well. My dh even went to collect one in France! He took the kids too.

I'd say the only rule is to make sure you both know what you expect from each other. Otherwise it completely depends on what sort of family you are. We love having an extra member of the family and it is like having a grown up daughter but in a nice way, where as I have friends who aren't so keen on sharing dinner time/family time with the ap.

I do some work at home and it doesn't work brilliantly unless I pretend I'm out. Although they love the ap they still love me more so if I'm there then they want me.

I agree this is a good time to start looking for September.

I registered with Aupairworld last week and had 230 applications in the first 48 hours!!!

The subscription runs for 3 months, so the timing is right from that angle too.

That's a good point about English classes filling up. Round here (rural East Anglia) they are like hens' teeth and all have waiting lists. Also, as have posted before, it's difficult to attract au pairs if you live in the countryside.

I like that idea of hoovering & helping in kitchen being part of family life & therefore not included in au pair's hours - I never thought of that LOL!

We live in the countryside, there isn't even a shop within walking distance. I think we got round this by having au pairs who are only available short term - like 3 to 6 months or something. They don't really have time to get bored! Look into public transport and if you can afford it, get a spare car (we can't!).

Yeah, we have a spare car - DH paranoid AP's going to drive off in it for good! At least with petrol so expensive, they can't afford to go far.

Oh no! I think if you get as far as trusting someone enough to look after your children then they should be ok with the car.........

I have a theory (some people might not agree) that you're less likely to get a weirdo/car theif /etc au pair if you go for someone young. We've had 3 18/19 year olds who have just finished school and want to do something different for a few months. If they're older, then yes they might have more experience, but you have to ask yourself why they haven't got a job.....Another good thing to look out for is an elder sibling in a big family.

About the car, you could always wait until she's been with you for a couple of months before you let her take the car out on her own - it's a big thing to let a stranger drive your kids around and I think any sensible person will understand that.

good job you don't have a spare car sprocketgirl - have you ever tried to insure an 18/19 yr old? I tried it once for a experienced driver (18) but couldn't get a single co to insure her. How do you deal with the constant msn-ing as well? Ours would be up until the wee small hours and knackered the next day.

IME - 17yr old crap (thief), 18yr old wonderful, 19yr old brilliant, 22yr old crap (weirdo), 24 yr old brilliant, 27yr old brilliant. So no pattern there

Well bang goes my theory! It was only based on my experience............not a very reliable study really!

That's interesting about the insurance thing. We're actually planning to get a car for our new au pair to drive (19) and for me to learn in. Haven't looked into the insurance thing yet - that might ruin our plans.

I think there's actually a lot of luck involved with au pairs. You can trust your intincts/get references/listen to advice until the cows come home but there's always the possibility of being wrong about someone unfortunately.

Think I'd prefer a thief to a weirdo!

DH just paranoid, I trust AP with car & DSs. I added him to my insurance policy, cost me £60 extra, but if he is in accident, excess is £250, whereas if I have accident, excess is £50. He is 24 tho'.

I have also found that age is just a number, brilliant 17 year old, crap 23 year old amongst past APs.