In a real state please help

[tatty33]

I need to find another childminder as my ds' is moving.

I'm having real trouble finding someone suitable, not sure when I'm being too picky (e.g not having any outside space) and when I should go with my instincts. Its been a ro
ough time recently and now I feel all my confidence is gone in making decisions.

I think I've found a good match, but I have quite a big worry about how much they go out ( i.e not enough - one playgroup a week and the odd trip to the park) My ds would be with one other girl, roughly the same age - 18 months

Will they have enough fun at home or would it be more beneficial to be out and about?

Sorry to sound so wet and indecisive but I'm in a real tizzy - due to illnesses and moves this will be his 3rd childminder in 7 months and I'm feeling reallyguilty I'm emtionally damaging him.

Thanks for reading and for any advice

Why don't you ring up the CM and say, 'I really feel that you are a great match in every way; the only concern I have is about outings. I was wondering if you would be open to increasing your trips out?'

Thats a thought - told you I wasn't thinking straight!

Would be interested in hearing what people think a 'good' balance is of toddler groups and hometime

I would say especially a boy needs a decent amount of excerise every day a good couple of hours really to burn off energy so he will sleep for you at night.
Does she have a good back garden with toys ? If that was the case then fine toddler group and the odd feeding the ducks would be ok, if it's a small garden then I think you're DS needs more physical stimulation and she needs to get out and about more.

I agree with Katie about needing to get out every day. Toddlers need the mental as well as physical stimulation of trips out.

Personally, I take my mindees out every day -just as much for me as for them. It might only be a case of getting to the school run half an hour early so we can kick a ball around.

Please don't feel guilty about shifting your DS around childminders, agreed it's not ideal but no harm will have been done to him. Ideally you would want him to stay with the same one but when this isn't possible, you've done the next best thing and carefully chosen a new one where his needs are being met.

As oregonianabroad says, you could ask the childminder if she would consider doing more outings but be prepared for her to say no.

BTW if all that was wrong with a childminder was her lack of a garden and you were otherwise happy with her, I would go for her as Ofsted would have checked with her about what she does for exercise with the children. My best friend is a CM with no garden and she's the best childminder I know!

I go out every day too. Real important! For the childminder's sanity as well as the benefit of the children!

Sometimes the park or just to take a ball/bean bags/bubbles or something over the field. Or sometimes just a walk - a "nowhere walk" or a "which way? walk" (where kids take turns to choose direction.

I don't get the chance to go to organised groups like toddlers very often due to irregular timings of mindees arrivals and following mindees naps. We go about once every 2-3 weeks. But when I can, I do other trips to different parks, libraries etc. But none of these are a regular thing. Its a challenge working around the differing needs of a number of families!

My CM certainly doesn't go out every day and I'm very happy with that, but then DD2 (13 months) isn't walking yet. She has a garden where they play every day it's fine, and they do go for walks and maybe to toddlers once a week. TBH, I feel happier that I know where DD2 is - either at the CM's house or on a walk nearby - than galivanting off to toddlers etc which always means a trip in the car.

I for one cannot understand cms who don't go out. I can't stay in for more than 2 hours. I go out to toddler groups, soft play, parks, libraries, lakes, playgrounds, town on the bus... Poor kids who are stuck in the house all day.

I am another one who can't understand why CM's don't go out!

We are only in at the moment as two are asleep! Then it is off to the park!

Where are you maybe there is a CM on here who could help??

I had a great CM who rarely went out (she had a good garden set up, though).
Since DC only went to her part-time, 6-15 hours/week, I think it worked fine.
Would be different if it were full-time, though.

Thanks for your messages. I'm visiting again on Fri eve so will get more of a sense then. They do have a garden to play in, and he would only be going 3 days a week but I'm veering to no again...

oh this is so stressful. and I can't even begin to worry about where he'll get to sleep...!