Nanny/housekeeper needed - but more!

[nannyhelp1234]

I am in a difficult situation in that I am now a solo parent for three teenagers following the death of their mother. My job (which I need to keep if at all possible for financial reasons) requires large amounts of travel which means I am frequently away from the home. Does anyone know if there is such as thing as a nanny/housekeeper who could live in and care for the children when I can't be there? It would need to be someone who could really grow to be part of the family. If so, how would I go about finding someone like this? TIA.

I'm sorry for your loss.
Do you have a spare room for them live in? I would assume you'd need to start looking at agencies that provide live-in type arrangements. They'd also need certain time off each week.
There used to be specific visas for bringing in such help from abroad, if that is something you were thinking of?
Sorry, I can't really help, but a hopeful bump to someone that can.

More of a house manager really but yes, it’s a job that exists, and of course they’d still need days off and holiday allowance. You’ll need a back up option if they’re unwell. How far in advance do you get the dates you need to travel? I do appreciate the sentiment that they’ll need to be part of the family but you also need to remember they are a paid employee, and this type of job commands quite high pay.

https://www.edenprivatestaff.com/what-we-do/housekeepers/
https://www.greycoatlumleys.co.uk/looking-for-staff/private-households-estates/housekeepers?source=google.com
It depends where you are - much easier to find this in London for eg.
I’m also very sorry that you are in this position.

Yes, Greycoats will find you someone. You will be paying a lot though, £50k-£80k probably if there's lots of 24 hour working involved.

Yes there are nannies /hk who do this

sorry for your loss. Was it recent - how are kids coping

how old are they ?

you May be better off with 2 nannies as they will need time off esp working 24/7

yes they may have time off school hours but assume you want house duties done then

I’m so sorry for your loss, and your children’s loss.

As pp have said there are agencies who will help with this.

Is your work giving compassionate leave? I hope so.

In case you are not aware - In addition to any compassionate leave you are legally entitled to 4 weeks a year unpaid parental leave per child, up to age 18. So up to 12 weeks for 3 children potentially. You could use this time to ease any new person in, and check that they are getting on well with the kids? Extra cost of course though…

Sadly there is no legal entitlement to compassionate leave in the UK.

I am sorry for your loss. I am sure you will be able to find a mature experienced live-in nanny, but it is likely to be expensive. Will you be home frequently enough to take over so the nanny can have enough time off? An alternative could be a state or independent day / boarding school where pupils can board as needed, some have extended day boarding, e.g. 8am - 7pm, but I don’t think it would be ideal to take them away from the familiarity of home, school, friends and family at this time. Look after yourselves and do think seriously about bereavement counselling and keeping in close contact with the pastoral leads at school.

Oh gosh, I’m so incredibly sorry to hear about your wife. That’s just awful, and you must be going through such a tough time right now with the kids. Being a solo parent is hard enough, let alone with teenagers and having to travel for work. You’re doing an amazing job just holding everything together.

Definitely, it’s totally possible to find a live-in nanny/housekeeper who can become like part of the family. When we were looking for someone to help us out with the little ones, we actually used an agency called Little Ones London. They were really good and not too pricey compared to some others we looked at. Might be worth giving them a shout to see if they can help you find someone lovely. I saw some higher ranges in the thread here and it definitely won’t set you back so much.

Sending you lots of strength and hoping you find the right person for your family. Take care.