Starting to question some of childminders practices

[Bounty9]

DD (2.8), has been with her childminder 2x days a week for a year now. We moved her away from nursery because she wasn’t coping in that environment and she’s much happier now. I have always been happy with CM, observations are good etc.

However over the last couple of weeks a few things have happened that have made me feel a bit.. meh. Firstly CM’s dad came over for a cup of tea and she didn’t tell us until pick up that evening. It was very breezy, oh my dad came over for a bit in case DD mentions it. I’ve never met this man, he isn’t on her DBS check (her older children are), and I would’ve appreciated her asking beforehand? Maybe I’m being sensitive though.

The second thing is that DD has been potty trained since Christmas. She took them to the park without the travel potty (that we provide), where DD said she needed a wee. CM tried to get her to go in a bush, and DD became upset. On pick up she asked me ‘what do you do when you go out then, both of mine always wee’d in bushes’, I said well.. I take the travel potty?

DD is starting pre-school in addition to CM soon, so she will get a nice variety but am I being unreasonable in feeling a bit off about these things?

The bush wee wouldn’t bother me to be honest, I never took the travel potty to the park etc. In regards to her dad coming over I’d have a conversation with her about your understanding being that people coming to the home needed to be DBS checked and see what her view is; for me it’s mainly about whether he’s supervised with the children by her

A bit yes. Childminders are allowed visitors, even if they aren't DBS checked. They can't leave them alone with them of course, but there's nothing wrong with a guest. I'm sure you visited with your child at some point too.

And the potty thing, well she knows for next time! She made a mistake, a minor one at that.

Thank you - I didn’t realise they were allowed visitors to be fair, but that’s makes sense. I didn’t say anything as I do trust her.

The bush wee thing - we’ve just never done it because we use the carry potty. Maybe it’s something I need to get her used to?

Not necessarily, if you're happy to carry a travel potty then continue. It's a short transition before she'll be able to hold it until you reach a toilet. Maybe CM doesn't have one, offer to lend yours for trips out?

Thanks @FrannyScraps we bought one for CMs house which she does use at her house.

My parents were semi regular visitors to my home when I was a childminder - the kids loved them. They'd get my dad to read them stories. Obviously they were never left alone together. That's part of a home from home environment for me.

I also never had a travel potty. I tried to avoid 'wild wees' if we could make it to a loo though because it's hard for little kids to know when that's appropriate.

Childminders don’t need permission to have visitors and it’s not always possible to let a family know beforehand.

if the childminder didn’t have a potty with her I don’t see the issue with a wild wee. When a child needs to go then they need to go. As long as the child was given as much privacy and decency as possible then I wouldn’t have a problem with it. What would you do if you hadn’t taken the travel potty put for whatever reason? Using a travel potty often gives a child less privacy depending on where they are.

It's her home, of course she doesn't need a DBS for her dad popping in for a cup of tea. She wouldn't have left the children alone with him so I don't understand what the problem is. She told you, she's not trying to keep it secret.

Wee in a bush is not a problem either. Maybe next time she'll take the travel potty but equally maybe she won't.

Visitors don't need a DBS check, they just can't be left alone with children.
You've chosen a home environment instead of an institutional one, and that includes occasional visitors.
My parents pop in sometimes and I don't ask permission or tell anyone in advance.

As for the travel potty - honestly I've never used one in 20 years of childcare and raising my own children and I wouldn't start taking one with me now. An emergency bush wee is fine if necessary.

that's not correct
if it is a regular visitor they need to be DBs checked; otherwise not

I've never used a travel potty either.
Bush wee in an emergency

Whipping out a potty at the park isn't very dignified is it. A private wee in the bushes is probably the better option if she really can't wait and a toilet is not available. I personally would never use a travel potty. My children never needed them.

Her dad popping in is a non issue too, as long as he was not alone with the children.

One of my DC will still do a bush wee now, he's 5, they still need them long after you've ditched the potty, just one of those things.

I wouldn't be concerned about the dad visiting either, it's a home from home environment. My DC called their childminders mother Nan and thought she was a bonus grandparent, it's a very different experience to nursery. You really need to trust your CM, in a way you have to trust very few other people in life.

I wouldn't have a problem with these things. The childminders I know go to cafés, museums, parks, meet ups, etc so around unvetted people all the time. It would only be a concern to me if the visitor was left unattended with them.

Bush wee is fine imo, I prefer it to seeing people use travel potties in car parks/shopping aisles/grass verges etc. Hedges/trees more natural and usually more private. It would be best to get them used to this for the short period that they can't hold it, rather than have them assume there will always be a mobile potty with them.

Neither of those things would bother me at all.

I really hate travel potties though & think it’s super undignified sticking a child on a potty in public.

And it’s not like she said she left the children with her dad. He popped over for a cup of tea.

Unless there are other reasons at play, it seems like you're looking for things tbh

Just agreeing with others — neither of these things would bother me at all.

Mightymoog I know this is an oldish thread but I found this on the gov.uk site, Google…you apparently don’t need a DBS for frequent visitors?

Honestly I think you’re over thinking both these things as well.

A childminder provides a home environment, which will include visitors from time to time.they certainly do not need permission from parents. They must not be left alone with the children unless they are dbs checked.

potty thing is a an honest mistake, have you explicitly said that your dd will need a travel potty when out and about?

I would tread carefully here, but; friends of mine recently had to find alternative provision for their two sons because their CM regularly allowed a non-DBS checked visitor into their house, and now they are under investigation due to allegations of sexual abuse by the visitor to one of the children in her care (she left the room while the visitor was in with the children). She has been struck off and will likely never work with children again.
I’m not saying that will happen but this is why a CM should never, ever, ever allow non-checked visitors into the house during their working hours or while there are still children on the premises.

Childminders are a law unto themselves. I found you either go with the flow or take your business elsewhere.