Need special needs childcare, overwhelmed

[executivedysfunction]

Hi, I'm hoping for any advice.
I'm a single parent (he's not in her life) to a 7 year old and I've been working from home since 2020. My work have been steadily moving everyone back in to the office. I don't know if I would be better off taking a big pay hit (I have no idea how much) to get a fully remote contract, or finding childcare.
Or ((drama!)) giving up and quitting my job and filing for bankruptcy and going insane hahaha
But seriously, maybe I will just keep my head in the sand until I get fired or put on notice and then try to find a remote job, but that is a terrifying thought financially.

My daughter has ASD and I think she needs one to one care. She is going through her big rebellious developmental phase right now! She will hit and push and grab other children at school to get a reaction out of the adults. She has sensory issues and can have full blown meltdowns over things that you can't just deny to other kids, like music and TV shows and singing.
It really isn't fair either on her or on other kids to place them together.

I don't even know if I can find someone who can support her, let alone if I can afford it? How do I start?
Do I just write to every listed childminder I can reasonably drive to (who has no young kids of their own!) asking if they are completely free on any days after school and maybe before school and could take a special needs child? Her school is a good distance from my house and I don't think many could offer pickup..
I think it might be too inconvenient for a lot of people to offer her a place.
If I can get those 3 days it will work out.. but then there are still school holidays and I have no idea how to deal with that either.
There aren't all that many I could reach, less with availability, I'm really scared I wouldn't even be able to do it.

Does anyone have experience with a situation like that? Or know how much I would be looking at?
What do you do on holidays as a single parent with no family or friends who can help?
Working single parents who became single while working, how did you manage?

It's so scary, I have bad anxiety and I feel like the walls are closing in! On the one hand I feel like her being with someone who can give her undivided attention is good for her.. but it's also a big change for her and could be overwhelming as she already tries to get out of going to school.

You need a nanny not a childminder. Someone you employ to look after your child only and they will care for your daughter in your home.

We are in a similar situation and we have an after school nanny/housekeeper 3 days a week. She collects the kids from school, brings them home and feeds them and helps with homework and does a bit of washing and tidying. Depending on where you are in the country, Costs can be cheaper than you think. We currently pay £15 an hour and are in the north.

You might also be able to get some financial help from social care at your council if it is for care while you are working. Ours pay a massive £3.50 an hour but it's better than nothing. To access this you will need to ask for a social care assessment from the council.

It's scary money! I really might be better off going remote
Thank you, I think I can only get tax free childcare on it here. I'm in NI.

Honestly I'm way too ashamed of my home to hire a nanny.. but you gotta do what you gotta do

With kindness, and I know how difficult it is to get sn childcare, you can't work and care for a young child, you need childcare even if you work remotely. This is one of the principal reasons why many employers are insisting on employees going back into the office.

Speak to your local school, council and other parents to see if there is a suitable placement for them. School wraparound especially can sometimes get additional funding for kids needing 1:1.

I'm sorry i can't help more with suggestions because I gave up and worked pt, just couldn't get anything

It gets worse once they hit secondary age because everyone assumes kids that age don't need childcare so there is nothing. Get something sorted which works now and it will help you keep your sanity going forwards.

School holidays you may have to use the unpaid parental leave from the government, Or get a term time only job.

You can request a learning disability social care assessment. We get 3 hours funded a week to hire a respite carer. We then self fund another 3 hours a week using same carer. The rate in NW is £15.72 an hour.