A bit peeved with childminder, please help me get back things back into perspective!

[lilacclaire]

My childminder is normally great, however the next coming 2 weeks I have a lot on with dp being away the best part of it and the shifts I am on, also have an important interview that cannot miss.

Childminder told dp last week that she had a friend who is dying and will need a day off this week (i am presuming for the funeral but this was not mentioned, friend is still alive) and also that she has an appointment on Weds 14th (am presuming nothing to do with the football ).
Im going to have to put in an emergency holiday with work and I know they will be suspicious of me because of the date (I hate football).

Also if the 'random' day off falls on the day of my interview, I am totally fooked!
I can't rearrange interview as she doesn't know when she will be off.
I don't have anyone else to watch ds and I am freaking out!

I feel so pissed off at her just now and I know it probably isnt deservered because she is normally great.

Now please tell me im being horribly suspicious and just get on with it.

you're being horribly suspicious - just get on with it.

It sounds like it's just bad timing (??? I don't know if she can call her friend dying bad timing though, I feel so insensitive). If she's normally reliable then this just sounds like something that can't be helped. Maybe she's arranged to visit her friend next week. It can be difficult to say goodbye. Phone her up and ask her what day she won't be able to have your child. She must be very stressed though so I'd go easy.

Have you asked her if she has any cm friends who can provide cover if she happens to need the day off when you have your interview? She might think it's not a problem for you? Kepp communication open and hopefully it will work out and you will be stressigover nothng I think you are worried about your inteview and have so much going on but it's not really her fault and she has lots going on too (like all of us)

Ask her for recommendations of any colleagues who could have him for the day.

I know, if its all true then i'll look like such a cold hearted bitch.
Im definetly suss about the date of the hospital appointment tho!

Yeah, i'll definetly ask her about other cm friends, i know she has a good few.

not as bad as you make it sound you know....

ok so do you need the whole day off for the interview?

what time is the interveiw???

so, could you ring cm, ask her which day she needs, if its the day of the interveiw, ask her to have dc for the duration of the interview then arrange to pick dc up as soon as you can.

arrange for her to have a whole day off when you take your emergency holiday day.

Just ring her and sort it, talk to the woman. Im sure that this is doable for you both.

also if she's not having your child and hasn't given you required notice she can't charge - so your ds can go to another c/m [recommended by her]

problem solved - now chill out

When my best friend was dying I took days off work to sit with her in the hospice. Think for a minute how you'd feel if someone you loved was slipping away and you had no idea when the last time you'd see her would be...

Thanks for that ray of sunshine KaSo ...
I don't need a lecture of people I love dying thank you, had more than my fair share of that.

I wouldn't be paying her anyway because i'll need to pay someone else and I just can't afford to pay 2 people.

I hadn't thought about asking about her cm pals, so that seems to solve my problems, was panicking over interview and looking suss for asking for the 14th off (sod em).

lilaclaire that was a really insensitive thing to say

i think you sound very unforgiving and selfish...if you've had NO problems to doubt her proffesionalism in the past why on earth would you now go all secret service because she says she has a hospital appointment and for the fact she wants to spend a few hours with a friend who is seriously ill.

KaSo didnt say anything about your family dying, she asked you to look at it from your cm's perspective..a chance to spend some precious last hours with a loved one who is dying...a job interview..no brainer really..you say yove had more than your fair share, so cut her a bit of slack..why wouldnt you think of another cm?, you must have rang round a few before you chose this one, so there will be more near you.

you sound SO defensive and all she's asked for is a few hours off, why dont you speak to her and find out her actual facts(ie when she may need to be off)

You are being really harsh!

No im not, re-read your posts, you ask if you're being horribly suspicious and say you will look like a cold hearted bitch..you said those things, you asked an opinion on a board for childminders, you got it!

i never understand why people CAN NOT just SPEAK to cm's, why come on here and accuse and put them down when you havent even spoke to her like an adult.

Imagine if I was your cm and i was reading this now?..how would i feel knowing you were being so suspicious and belittling the fact i want to see my gravely ill friend?

BerkshireBella isn't the OP and I'm not sure if her comment was directed at you or the OP?

oops sorry, ive been looking at a thread were she was the Op and must have got mixed up....sorry BB

Sorry I am new at this... I was talking to lilacclaire for being so unkind to someone whose friend is dying and is only concerned about her own world and not looking like she is skiving off for the footy!.

dont worry, my fault there BB, getting you and OP mixed up