Nanny vs nursery costs

[Childcarecosts]

I’m trying to work out the best option for childcare for two one year olds when I return to work.

DH earns substantially more than £100k so we’re not entitled to any free childcare hours.

I plan to return to work three days per week (although this might change).

I’d love a nanny but we have a lot of outgoings and not huge amount of cash to spare so I worry that with the hidden costs (employers NI contributions, payroll costs etc.) it might be unaffordable for us.

However, I know nursery is notoriously expensive too and with two (and given no free hours) the difference might not be so big?

Is anyone able to give a rough idea of how the costs compare?

I’ll look into it in more detail locally of course but just wanted to get an initial idea to know if it’s even worth me exploring the nanny route or if we’d be completely priced out!

We have a part time nanny/ housekeeper and she is brilliant. We pay £15 per hour (northern England) and she does 12 hours(3 half days) a week so comes just after lunch and does some cleaning and prep for dinner and then covers the school run and makes dinner for the kids.
Honestly it has made work life balance so much better. It is worth every penny and because we are her first employer and she isn't doing lots of hours we haven't hit the national insurance threshold. We do pay her pension but it is very low.

We had a nanny with her own child which worked great, we had an agreement that when the kids were ill they just had quieter days, treated them as siblings, and apart from sickness bugs there wasn't as much illness as you'd expect.

It's 1 under 1, 3 under 5, 6 under 8. So at worst, you'd have a baby, 2x1yo and 3x5yo. And the 5+yo are more than likely going to be at school in term time.

I like my childminders set up, children learn by teaching the younger kids and younger ones learn by being shown by the older kids.

I'd say it's worth having an open mind with whatever you do. My childcare is a childminders but it's more like a tiny nursery in a domestic setting with assistants. It's so cozy and in the nearly 2 years my daughter has attended, not one member of staff has left.

Saying that, maybe a nanny share is an option? A bit cheaper but you can ensure a better ratio and have continuity of care.

Yep ..attachment theory

No....the nursery ratio is aimed at children in the same age bracket ...it's common if you sit in a nursery not as a parent (I'm an assessor) to see babies being cared for by 1 adult to 4 ....other staff busy....a childminders usual ratio is 1 under 1 and no more than 3 under 5....so like a family unit. The baby benefits from hearing more language, seeing what others do and trying to copy them. They are not held back by their birthdate
Both types of setting work to the same standards and are inspected by the same inspectors so a good or outstanding childminder will have demonstrated the same skill and knowledge but on a 1 to 1 inspection mine was 5 hours not 10 mins talking to that staff member 30 to this one. The parents are spoken to as well and the relationship between the adult and children is observed. I didn't even get a drink break.
What do you see as the downsides of a nursery?

The 1 to 6 is ....3 under 5 of which one can be under 1 and up to another 3 under 8.....who would be at school.....but not all childminders do school care.

I wish we could pin this post at the top of the whole of Mumsnet.

I (genuinely, and not just to enrage or upset people) worry about the results we'll see in 20 years time of a whole generation in an industrialised (and if we could be honest with ourselves, poor quality, underpaid and under educated in terms of child development) childcare setting, up to ten hours a day from the age of six months.

To me it seems barbaric. The only reason we accept this is because capitalism has reached the stage where it's not possible to survive in many cities on less than two incomes - or at least, not at the standard of living that capitalism has told us we should expect. It's a massive con - what should have happened is that men should have been forced/enabled to take half the load - so both couples go part-time and care is split between them. That's child-centred, but also equality-focused.

I know lots will disagree, but what we have is horrible.

Twenty years ago it was very much not the norm, and I don't think anyone - women, men, and most of all babies and toddlers - has benefitted.

I would go for nanny, babies get ill so often at that age and can't go to nursery and then you have to stay home. With two babies it'll happen twice as often

The middle parents are the ones who do get the funding from 9months

I observed one baby lunch time....4 babies in high chairs 4 bowls and spoons one staff member chatting to her co worker about last night's date whilst doing one for you ....no words to babies.....then she forgot to change spoon/bowl...next child therefore wrong dinner etc ..it's conveyor belt care in some nurseries. I talked to one student who was told off for taking 20 minutes to change 12 nappies whilst also supporting the ones using the potty.

Some nurseries do need a complete overhaul but please let’s not lump them all on the same boat. There is good and bad in all areas of childcare. Childminders are sainted on Mumsnet but I took my son out within two weeks of the one I used- and put him in a nursery which was actually amazing and taught him so much.

And it’s not all or nothing either- most parents strive for a balance- even at 3.5 my son is only doing 3 days a week and I’m with him the rest of the time. putting your baby into childcare 5 days a week ten hours a day isn’t actually as common as you might be led to believe by some posts on here.

When mine were small the cost was the same for two with a nanny as nursery and we were covered for holidays, odd working hours, sick children etc. the children had each other to play with and a care giver who loved them and who they loved.
We all have to do what works but I am one who is not convinced by very small children needing a busy nursery setting .

It's 1:6, of which no more than 3 can be under 3 and no more than 1 can be under 1

So max - 9mo, 2x 14mo, 3x 4+years old (who would probs be wrap around after school anyways).

Both DSs went to fab nurseries, we looked at a nanny for DS2 due to work commitments but actually found nursery to be a better option and found one with good hours so it worked for us.

I grew up with nannies (4 kids it made sense & there weren't any nurseries where we lived) - it wasn't always smooth sailing and I remember the absolute panic when one of the nanny's up and left for a different job without full notice & mum recalled how hard it was to find another good one. We had a couple of excellent nannies (one of whom I'm still in touch with today) a couple of mediocre ones and one awful one. When the Nannie's were sick it meant we often ended up going to work with our parents because there was no cover. It was good in some ways but also had downsides. Ours often weren't great cooks (although better than my mum) so food was frozen stuff heated up
And they had their hands full looking after us so cleaning (apart from loading our dinner plates in the dishwasher) was done by a cleaner at another expense. Also my parents actually hated having someone in their house all the time even though it was for a good reason.

Both our boys thrived at nursery, the key workers were good, they had excellent friends, food & facilities were great and the nurseries were fab. I got loads of feedback as well. Both went from 6mths until school.
DS1 went to one by my work due to the hours / traffic situation & DS2 to one near our home as we'd moved by then and it was more convenient. I loved doing the drive with them and as they got older we often talked in the car - it's amazing how many topics you can cover with an inquisitive 4yo

I often hear people put nursery down as a poorer experience but from our perspective it was really great. Both kids now 8 & 16 have positive memories of that time.
Yes there were periods of sickness but nothing awful and nursery was only ever closed over Christmas (& partially for covid lockdowns), the staff at the nursery also would babysit for us out of hours which was fab.

@thestudio
That's such a generalised view of the world of childcare and I think you are very wrong

I have a fantastically well balanced 16yo who went to nursery FT from6mths and who is now doing his A-levels
We have a great relationship, he's a great kid, well adjusted, bright & sociable. His time at nursery was a good foundation moving forward, has not affected his relationships with his family (we are close) and his younger brother seems to be the same although time will obviously tell.
I know plenty of SAHP with issues with their kids

20yrs ago nursery was very much the norm as was 2 working parents , 40yrs ago less so but still a thing

There are great childcare options, terrible work options and everything in between.
Parents have struggled to balance things & make compromises & choices since the beginning of time ... you just hear about it more widely thanks to SM

Remember that with a nanny you get extra help like the children's laundry, cooking (sometimes for the whole family if that's the deal) and they will take them to stay and play type groups (you need to budge for any fees). I think until 3 it's a good option then potentially preschool and nanny combined until school

But you understand that this will enrage people, as the vast majority of parents (male and female) need to work owing to the increasing cost of living?

If both parents went part-time, there wouldn’t be enough money. Most people cannot afford a nanny.

To an extent, I understand your point, in that I would love to have the opportunity to have more time off with my children. I’m sure my husband would, too. We balance things as best as we can in terms of finances and reduced hours. I just think it’s important to be a bit less scathing as, generally, parents are doing as best as they bloody can.

It would be fantastic if the cost of parenting (not just of childcare, but in terms of flexible and LTFT working for both parents) could somehow be addressed. But we, surely, do not want to be in the situation where only the very wealthy are permitted to breed?

OP - you are obviously not in this shameful position of being forced to send your child to nursery. Costs will vary hugely depending on where you are, but I expect that a nanny won’t be hugely more expensive than nursery if you’re paying for two children and have no access to tax-free childcare or funded hours. You will also benefit from having help around the house in terms of baby laundry and meal prep, which would be invaluable.

You are the ideal candidate for a nanny. Because you have two and don’t get the funded hours - a nanny is 100% the better option for you. No drop offs, a tidy house, cooked food on return, a loving consistent figure in your children’s lives. It’s a no brainier. If you can afford a nanny it is the best possible childcare for young children - when they get to 3 you can also use the 15 universal hours at a preschool to get “school ready” alongside the nanny.

We did nursery with dc1 and would never do it again. Dc2 will do childminders and then preschool.
they are not close enough in age for a nanny to benefit us (dc1 starting school next year) but I think a nanny is also a great idea

I have v similar situationbut have a coming up 1 and 3 yr old.
Nursery would have been over 4.5k pm with no assistance

I have gone for a CM (my kids will be 2x ft and there are 2 other children 1 mon-wed and a thu-fri) who works alone. It works out at 3.3k.

Imo the CM which gives me the flexibility of a nanny with none of the payroll hassle and is cheaper than both nanny and nursery.

Also the CM does regular playgroup meet ups but can stay.home and do some crafts or play in the garden if they fancy / kids are out of sorts.

💯 do a nanny or CM

When we looked at this - admittedly a few years ago - we found that once you factored in all of the extra costs of a nanny, nursery was cheaper:

Wear and tear on your house

Cost of food for the kids - and the expectation seems to be that you also feed the nanny

Cost of activities/classes

Cost of nappies (included at our nursery)

Nurseries are all different - we were very happy with ours and don't recognise the descriptions of them on Mumsnet. Ours was staffed by women between 30 and 50, usually mothers themselves. No conveyor belt feel at all.

Nannies can be great but vet them very carefully! My neighbours opposite have a nanny and I literally see her on her phone ALL DAY LONG EVERY DAY and completely ignoring the poor kid.