What kinds of affection are okay for chilcare workers and toddlers?

[childcareworkerm]

I’m an assistant two year olds teacher at a childcare, and I’ve recently started unconsciously kissing some kids on the forehead when they’re upset. I later asked two friends if they thought that was okay. One thought it was completely fine, but the other felt that it was completely inappropriate and said she would have been upset if a teacher had kissed her child. I personally just want to know if that would make others uncomfortable as well. Again, I’m talking about 1-2 year olds, not preschoolers or older. My rule has always been: if I change their diapers, they can probably sit on my lap and hug me sometimes. Still, I don’t know if a forehead kiss is too much. Thoughts?

have you had any safeguarding training?
or any training at all
What you’re talking about isn’t appropriate

That’s not ok, OP. Agree you need to ask for some training asap. In the meantime, stop kissing the children, it’s not appropriate.

Diapers??? Are you in the UK OP? No, this is not ok at all!
Other than it being completely inappropriate, if that was my child, I'd be worried you might have cold sores! 😬

It's not appropriate, you need some remedial training.

I'd be very happy with you comforting my child with hugs etc and them sitting on your lap for a story for settling or being comforted. My children's nannies have always done this. However, kissing is a big no no.

Diapers is used in Northern Ireland. My husband uses the word.

Was this not covered in your initial training and the mandatory safeguarding renewal trainings?

For this age group, they are the initiators of physical affection, but you also need to maintain good boundaries. Kissing is not appropriate; hugs initiated by them are appropriate, but you also need to consider the safeguarding policy in your setting.

You’re a fat snake

What on earth does that mean??? 😕

Why is MN so bizarre these days

@Spidey66 , no, it's not commonly used in Northern Ireland.

I'm really finding it hard to understand why this is so inappropriate?! I have a 18 month old in nursery, and if I found out his key worker (who he's very fond of) gave him a kiss on the head when he was crying or need comforting, I wouldn't bat an eyelid

Clearly I'm in the minority though

The world's gone mad....

Absolutely! Poor kiddies

what? to not have a nursery worker kiss them?

Yes. To be amongst so many other children there, and for their nursery worker to not be able to kiss the top of their head as part of the comforting process. I worked for very many years in a preschool and one of the staff was particularly warm and nurturing and would hug and occasionally kiss an upset child. They all loved her

I’m a childminder and I have lots of cuddles with the little ones, I would never force them and they’re very much initiated by the children. Sometimes I kiss the top of their head (generally not forehead, more on their hair) to console when they’re very upset or hurt. I also kiss their ouchies away when they’ve bashed a knee. Sometimes a child tries to kiss me and I quickly turn my head so they get my cheek rather than lips as I don’t want to push a child away. There’s nothing wrong and nothing untoward with what I do, even on my inspection it was noted what a wonderful relationship I have with the children and the inspector witnessed me kissing the top of the head of an upset child.

My dc both liked having cuddles with their nursery workers. I wouldn’t have an issue with them giving my kids a kiss on the head at all, if my kids didn’t mind.