CMs what would you do if?

[childminder90210]

A minded child was making your own child upset all the time and constantly arguing, but the parents thought you were at fault?

i would keep a diary of every time something happend, i would also keep your own LO apart from this child, give your own something to do in their room/other room, sit them either side of you whilst reading, speak to them(through books etc) about being ncie to one another, why we shouldnt be horrible or hurt each other with words or actions(how old are they?)
the diary will help you to look back and see if there is a prob or if its just normal cheeky behaviur and will then reinterate if it is a prob to the parent that its not a one off.

why are the parents blaming you?

Both children are 9 years old, parents dont think their child does anything wrong!!?!! Have spoken to them about it but still doesnt get any better, also the minded child has been tellin children at school to upset my child too.

is this your only minded child?..at 9 i think it IS plain nastiness as theyre not babies and the things i suggested wont really work as i doubt theyll want you to read to them..i woulds till write a diary as 'evidence' for you and parent, write down good and bad things so its not a death sentence but once youve read back over it, you may realsie its not worth upsetting your own family over and if parents are not willing to help, then you should maybe give notice hi-lihgting these reasons?

I have 3 others and also another child of my own, none of the other minded chilkdren are a problem, and I know my own children arent angels either, but I think you are right I will have to give notice as I dont want my own child upset all the time thanks x

its awful though isnt it, when you get no support from the parents..id give them another opportunity to discuss it and tell them you have real concern over this and how it affecting you child(plus, the other mindees are probably noticing it too?) and also tell them about school and the over lap of arguing/bullying too..tell them it MUST stop or you will have no alternatcive but to give them notice AND speak to the school.good luck

i had a similar situation where the mindees father was actually encouraging the children to be nasty cos i had mentioned my concerns about his childrens behaviour. I terminated the contract but his children are at the same school as my own children so they see each other at breaktimes etc. I dont know what their parents have told them but exmindee was telling my son that i had ruined his life and constantly made up lies about him to teachers. The teachers knew child was telling lies as they witnessed some of the behaviour. I mentioned it to teacher as I thought it was an odd thing to say and explained why i thought child would say that.(cant give too much detail cos some of the childs family dont know whole story about some things, involved social services)Anyway child and parents were warned that if behaviour didnt stop his parents would be called up immediately and it would be taken furtherby school.School was very good about it and there has been no problem since.

oops sorry about the punctuation etc

i think i would give them notice if it was making my child unhappy.i have one mindee whom my dd does not like because his hours are 9-3 but in holidays he gets very jealous and bites her and swears at her i encourage her to go upstairs and play!!!!my dd is 9yrs

Thanks for all your messages, gave notice tonight feel much better and my own dd is very happy too, that tells me I have done the right thing,

We spoke to school about what was going on there and they have dealt with it didnttake it to parents as its a school issue and they need to deal with it, thanks again all

wow, speedy gonzalez!...WELL DONE YOU for standing your ground, i bet your dd thinks you're super mum now..lets just hope the school do as well as you..how did parents take it? did you explain like you'd told us??

I've had this too, I looked after two boys after school who were aparantly well behaved, but my children hated them coming, they would just be mean to my girls,they stole from me (i couldnt prove it as the dad said they wouldnt, but i know it was them) I told their father and he saw no problem, they left us as they apparantly were unhappy at my home, and blamed me totally.. good for you x

I have to admit have been thinking about doing it for a while just needed get the courage to do it!!! She said she was going to give me notice on monday anyway as he was unhappy, its done now and feel better about myself too. I hate that part of this job, and asking for money I hate aswell!!! Thanks again for all your advice, it helped alot. I wrote a letter giving lots of reasons I know I dont have to give reasons but I feel I am being fair by doing it and there can be no come back that I was in the wrong that way

well done you bet your dd is happy about this as i think its not only the cm who has to like the mindees but our kids too

I have this same problem too. My DD's behaviour has changed quite a bit recently (20 months old), but on the odd days I haven't had mindee she seems happier. Can't do much about it as only 2 yrs old. Going on holiday and having 2 weeks off as of next week, and if her behaviour improves and she's happier, then I know what I have to do. My child's happiness comes first!

Its really hard to do it, but if you feel better afterwards you know it was the righ thing, have a nice holiday

Thank you!

keep and eye on it chel, at 20 months your LO is very young and she may just not like sharing mummy with ANYONE..so even if youg ave notice the prob might not neccesarilly go away, easier to say than do but try and do special things together after work, weekends etc and although young try to explain that by you looking after other children you get to stay at home with her..its so hard isnt it