BEREAVEMENT

[trouble18524]

What are your thoughts about nannies going thru/about to go thru close family bereavement? How should this be handled re: time off from work etc? Views from both nannies an employers would be welcomed.

I have been through it twice years and years ago in my first job when my mum died i actually was given two weeks off as i had to give all sorts of imformation to the corronor [excuse the spelling] then had another three days off weeks later as i had to give evidence at the inquest. Then two years ago my dad passed away suddenly i had the rest of the week off then came back although i did not have to. They were brillant helpig me out with paper work and just general support i also had another week off for the actual service and just time to get things sorted in my head. I had a house to deal the hosptail. I know that i was really lucky and gratfull for the support . Also works both ways when employers have lost some one close with extra child care one family i worked for i had my two charges plus their cusion while the grown ups did what was needed.

You were so fortunate to have such help and understanding from employers. One parent died very suddenly a long while ago during the holiday period so time off never was an issue (came back to bouquet of flowers and a beautiful letter/card with such thoughtful words). On the other hand my other parent died a few years ago (we were given 48hrs notice altho lasted 2wks). The help I recieved from my employer at the time (now former employer) was abusive phone calls, nasty texts/emails and the threat of legal action if I didnt return to work the very next day because, as she put it, I "gave her no warning" and "how thoughtless of me, after all I was paid to look after her child, not spend time with my dying parent". Oh and incidently, I was there for them when they were in the same situation a year earlier.

Meant to add to previous post that I had been in her employment for more than 2yrs at this stage and had never let her down previously

I have had 2 friends whose parents have died

one employer was fantastic, gave my friend 2 weeks off paid to sort out funeral/grieve etc

other employer was a bitch about it all, refused to give time off for my friend - even unpaid, Mb said it was inconvienent time as she was busy at work!!!

Workwise I have had 3 MB/DB's parents die - I did what i could, worked extra hours, had cousin for the db brother, and I sent flowers and went to the funerals and then took children back with me - we got books out from library to try and explain to children where grandparents had gone.

Nick - isnt there a law that legally employers HAVE to give you time off - whether paid or not - if the death is close family, ie sibling/parent?

I would love to know if there is such a law, athough at the time I was threatened with legal action (day before the funeral), I spoke to CAB and they said they would help me take her to court for unfair dismissal

my bosses are great

not saying too much detail for obviosue reasons.... they are in the middle of a family crisis and need me right now more than ever

at the same time as their HUGE issues my father has just become very poorly this week too (i had been off last week anyway so was unaware how dramatically their situation had changed.)

Even though my dad IS alive (and may hopefully in time get better) my bosses have let me have as much time off as i need to sort it.... indeed until I had decided and let them know that i would be in today they didnt even tell me about their problems cause they wanted me to do what was right for me and my dad without being influenced by their situation.

the problem is their only childcare options are my bosses (who both work), and each of their sets of parents, one of which is on holiday, other set involvd in their 'family crisis' and me with my own problems.... all of which are currently down

It is SUCH a relief to know that my bosses are understanding at this difficult time, and i would like to point out that their employers are being as understanding to them as they are to me.

TBH i hate to think that there are people who would make an issue if the nannies parent died or was even just ill... i mean just because we are nannies we are still people too, and sometimes in life things happen and priorities change.

also just to add one of my nannies friends mothers died just last year and her boss gave her us much time as she needed off (paid) to sort it (about 3 weeks in total)..... another of my nanny friends grandmotehr died and she made her take the funeral as a days holiday ... which tbh i just cant understand (especially as she only has 2 week holiday of her won choice)

and id just like to say i love my bosses so much

(also my bosses are doctors and have provided so much support and information to me in english, explaining everything to me etc, and what will happen / is likely to happen etc and im very very greatful to them for being so kind to me, especially with what is happening to them simultanously)

oh well i guess when it rains it pours

so IMO yes if you employ a nanny an her parents die you have a moral duty to support her through such a stressful and difficult time, and the same way that almost all other bosses / companys do.

NannyL sorry your going thru such a hectic time at the moment and I wish your dad a speedy recovery. Your employers sound really nice. It's so reassuring to hear there are understanding employers out there. I now make it a standard question at interviews re: how they would deal with the sudden unexpected passing of close relatives, obviously I never go into the reasons why the question is asked.

BTW my new job is great.

thanks

and the thing is I KNOW that all my previouse employers would be treating me exactly the same and it wouldnt have been an issue (although still inconvienant) for any of them

ues my bosses are great

nannyl - sorry to hear you are having a difficult time at the moment - i hope your dad gets better soon

as nick had ignored my request i had a look, for legal time off and found this

Family Emergency?
You never know when you might need to take time off when some thing untoward happens to a member of the family and this is where you have the right to take time off to deal with it and you can?t be penalised by your employer for taking the time off, providing your reasons for taking it are genuine
So what counts as an emergency?

An emergency is when someone who depends on you

is ill and needs your help

is involved in an accident or assaulted

needs you to arrange their longer term care

needs you to deal with an unexpected disruption or breakdown in care, such as a childminder or nurse failing to turn up

goes into labour

You can also take time off if a dependant dies and you need to make funeral arrangements or attend the funeral.

Pay? That depends on your employer and the contract you have. Many employers will give you paid time off for these emergencies especially when there is a death in the family but not all.

and as nick likes proof to back things up - heres the webpage

www.askcab.co.uk/youth_site/familyreasons.asp

so yes, legally you can have time off,but it might not be paid, if you have a stingy employer