Childminder or nursery?

[ChristmasJumpers]

DH and I cannot agree on childcare and we need 3rd party help!

DD started with a childminder at 10 months old when I returned to work. Childminder is DDs Grandma (this is important) but has been a registered childminder for 10+ years.

CM broke her ankle in June, so DD started nursery instead. The plan when I have second DD in Feb is to continue with 2 days nursery each week through mat leave.

CM is returning to work in October and has asked if DD will be going back to her (this would be a split of 2 nursery days and 2 CM days per week as we both agree nursery has been good for her). We need to give 1 months notice to nursery to reduce her days if we decide to.

1 of us wants to stick with just nursery so as not to disrupt DDs routine, as she would stop going officially to CM again in February anyway (but would still see plenty of her as Grandma).

1 of us thinks she would get the best of both worlds from both CM and nursery for a few months - and doesn't feel we have enough reason to say no to CM. It will affect her income and time spent with DD.

When I start Mat leave again, DDs routine would change again, but she's very go with the flow and probably wouldn't notice the change as we'd probably still be going out with Grandma on her days off from Nursery anyway.

WWYD?

I think nursery . Only because all the CM I know are constantly out - school drop off , nursery drop off, nursery pick up , school pick up and I see them walk past my house so many times each day and think how do they fit in any outings or anything with the children they look after ? At least in nursery they are in and doing activities not in a buggy / car seat 3/4/5 times a day

Thank you! It's not really a factor for us as she has one school drop off in the morning and one pick up after school, so the whole day in between is centred around the little ones with activities/trips etc.

She should just stick with nursery alone, disrupting DD twice isn't fair, and it's irrelevant that CM is grandma when she's being paid, it's a business transaction on both sides. Also CM will no now and can fill that place as she'd need to do this in February anyway.

If you were pleased with granny as a childminder, then I think 2 days each of granny and nursery would be a nice balance.

Nursery.

Despite her being a registered CM she is still the kids gran. And kids need to learn to be looked after by other people (or you will have hell to pay on first day in Reception)

This is true, but she is very used to this now from nursery, which we would be continuing with for 2 days per week.
I am so torn on this and we just can't agree with each other 😬

Why would 2 days in each place be the best of both worlds for DD though? She sees grandma anyway.

She will see Grandma anyway when I'm on Mat leave, but right now she doesn't see much of her as it's nursery all week, then me and DH trying to get out and do fun family activities at the weekend.

I mean more that she'll benefit from both the nursery environment (mostly indoors doing activities with other children) and the childminder home from home environment (more trips to the park/playgroups/soft plays etc.).

What's the plan for wraparound when she starts school? For me the advantage of a CM is that it transitions seamlessly into school pick ups.

I'm not a huge fan of CM, because they have sick days, and they have holiday, and I don't have the kind of job where I can work around someone else. I needed childcare that was definitely open 51 weeks a year.

Having said that, 4 days at nursery is tiring. And what is your plan for dc2, would you be sending them to nursery too or would you prefer not to use nursery for a younger child? If the obvious disadvantages of a CM don't cause issues for you, 2+2 is probably a nice compromise.

Bear in mind too that nursery will do fun things on certain days (ours did for example America day and India party) and if she is not there those days she misses out. And she won’t form as strong a bond with the other children.

Wrap around care when she starts school would be childminder (and me possibly dropping my hours so I can do at least drop off OR pick up).
I do love that nursery will celebrate special days, they haven't yet but I suppose there haven't been any since July maybe?
Grandma also does this though so again it's best of both.

Sounds like you want cm. Is she your mum ?

I think 2&2 is nice

But depends what you plan to do with no 2

2 at nursery can be costly and maybe even a nanny works out better

We chose nursery, because they have enough staff to cover staff holidays and staff sickness. If you use a cm, sick leave will be at short notice, and holidays will be dictated by the cm. And if the cm is also grandma, what is your back up for these situations?

My DS did a mix of nursery and CM (due to complicated work arrangements) and it worked just fine.

I really wouldn't worry about disrupting routines, I think people overthink this. In fact I think it's good for DC to experience different settings and not do the same thing every day.

They're only little for a short time, how lovely for your GM and DD to spend so much time together. Having a GM who's also a properly trained CM is such a bonus, you'd be mad not to make use of this unusual situation IMO.

Yes it is me that wants to split the days. I thought it would be easier to keep that out of it but it's impossible when replying to people about the pros and cons!

A nanny wouldn't work for us as we have a small house and both work from home - one upstairs, one downstairs.

The plan is to start DD2 at CM until she's a bit older and then a split, but I am now worried that DH will change his mind and want both to be in nursery full time.

Forgot tot mention also that splitting DD1 between nursery and CM now would save us £100 per month!

Then do 2&2

Well this is what I want to do while DH wants to stick with all nursery. He knows I've put it on here so we can get some outsider input as neither of us is prepared to budge so far!

Similarly childminders do special days and outings often every week so the lo will miss out either way. Isn't that life?

Will cm definitely have space just for wrap around?

Yes, she works part time and keeps her numbers low, so she will definitely have space for DD wrap around care. Especially as she's her Grandma