Should I choose a CM/nursery near work or near home?

[spicemonster]

I'm moving to a new job so am going to change my DS's childcare because I can't get to his existing nursery and get to the new job.

So - new job is 13 miles away. I live in London and it's just outside. I can either drop him somewhere near my home and then travel 40 mins each way to the job or I could take him on the tube with me (it's going against traffic so tube is empty).

My gut is to find somewhere near work - I feel uneasy about being a long way away (I know it's not massively far but I'm used to living and working in central London and I'm never more than 5 miles from my DS normally) and I like the idea that he spends less time in care. On the other hand, I may have to do some travelling for the job which would mean dropping him off first and then going to wherever I've got to get to which is obviously going to be a bit of a pita. Having said that, if I drive, I'd pass by the new office on the way out of London for most of the places I'd have to get to but it does mean I'd have to drive, I wouldn't be able to take the train.

Any thoughts?

Less time in care means more time travelling for him though doesn't it? Personally I think I'd get tired of trying to keep my kids entertained on the tube everyday. I also wouldn't want to be 40 minutes away from my baby though, so I guess this isn't much help to you!

near work means less c/m fees and more time with you
however as pointed out by Rosa does mean more travelling - does he like travelling?

I'd veer towards nearer home, actually, having interviewed a few people who'd found that childcare near work very difficult. Also it assumes that (a) you're sticking with this job, permanently (b) you wouldn't want/need to use childcare on days when you were not in that office.

I'd go for near to home, then at least you can have 40 mins peace twice a day. Also if you're sick/off work for whatever reason you wouln't have to drag him miles into nursery.

He's very happy on the tube normally but I've never tried taking him twice a day. But yes, the fees out there will be much less - about 300 quid a month if I go for a nursery which obviously is a consideration. Having said that, I didn't choose the cheapest nursery before because I didn't like it.

But motherinferior that is a concern. I don't know how much travel I'm going to have to do and it does mean that I'm not going to be able to work from home if I want to.

I suppose I could look into CMs round here and there and make my decision on where I find a good one. I'm veering towards going for a CM now, having previously chosen a nursery.

The other thing in there is locality. I don't know how old your son is, but I've found it really nice that my kids hung out in the local area for their childcare, and made friends, and know the local park...and indeed know them when they all move on to school.

Oh, and if he gets poorly - schlepping a grumpy and possibly vomiting child 40 minutes home is slightly shudder-worthy, is it not. Especially if he gets a tummy upset too.

I have this problem. It takes me an hour to get to dcs if the nursery calls - which has only happened once when ds had a temperature. Luckily my dh can mostly work from home on my work days but it's still a tough choice. I'm with Rosa on the commute - I think it's quite hard on them. And if you're off sick, or can work from home or something and still want to use the nursery you won't have that option if it's near work ...

I'd probably veer towards near home for the reason of continuity of care for your little one if you change jobs again. Also the importance of having local friends is going to increase as he gets older.

How old is your DS? A baby is probably going to be more portable on public transport than a fidgetty 3 year old.

spicemonster, near home, then your dh has equal ease of doing drop-offs and pick-ups, particularly if your ds falls ill ubexpectedly has has to be picked up asap. You don't want to give your dh a readymade excuse why you are always best placed to do this.

I can't see any advantage with the nursery being near work unless you want to bf exclusively and vist him during breaks to feed him. Even then, I am not sure how that couldwork. Once my dcs see me at nursery, that's it for them. They expect me to collect them to take them home. I avoid my dcs seeing me at all costs unless I can properly take them home.
Not fair to upset them by flitting in and out.

blueshoes I don't have a DP so there is only me to collect/drop off. I suppose I was thinking of it partly because of the cost savings (which are considerable) and partly because it would give me extra time with him. Although as been pointed out - 80 mins on the tube is not especially quality time :D

Good points that everyone has made especially re illness etc.

Bit of an assumption there blueshoes - spicemonster never mentioned a dh. I don't have one, and my kid's fathers aren't involved in our lives at all

You posted just as I was spicemonster!

spicemonster we have done both - the nursery nearest home didn't have vacancies when I first went back to work so DTs went to one near my work, then vacancies came up at the one nearer home last summer so we moved them - its cheaper and more convenient so seemed like a good idea but the other one was a much better nursery adn I'm glad they'll only be at this one until July as they start school in sept, I wish we hadn't moved them, even though it has cost less and been more convenient so i guess my advice is to suss out which wil be best for him whilst he's there, rather than the cost or convenience factor

I've done both, and the current version is the fantastic nursery across the road from where i work. It is a really good arrangement for us. If, as you say, there's somewhere to go for work I always make sure i'm scheduled to start at my office, preferably at my normal start time, and as there's usually a mileage or travel claim in it somewhere and it tends to make that part far more straightforward.
One thing which may sound really obvious but in practice is not as easy as it sounds - is making sure that i leave twenty minutes spare to drop DD off. I tended to think that a nursery dro-off should be ten mins max, but it isn't...

spicemonster, thanks for clarifying that. Rosa, I must have spoken out of turn then. Ignore my post.

No worries blueshoes, it's a fair assumption to make

The other thing that concerns me (and which I didn't mention in my OP) is the stress I feel now about getting back to nursery on time. It takes me slightly less time to get to work now so worry that with a longer journey I'm going to be constantly late.

Hmm - lots of food for thought here

Sorry blueshoes, I get asked about my "husband" all the time so I've got a bit millitant about it You didn't speak out of turn at all.

No worries . I must remember to qualify in future about other halves.

spicemonster, if using the nursery nearer to home makes you almost constantly late at the pick up, then I don't think that is feasible. I assume you are picking up at closing times. My nursery will fine I believe £3 (?) for every 5 minutes over - they need to do so to cover the insurance.

You will need to make adjustments like shift your working hours forward subtly. For example, start earlier, end earlier or negotiate a shorter lunch break (I negotiated a 30 min lunch break rather than full hour and pack lunch to eat at desk most days) or cut your hours a little at the tail end.

I am not sure which line you are on but because the tube can be unreliable (I am a London girl as well), can you have an informal reciprocal arrangement with, say, another parent or one of the carers at nursery who lives nearby that she could pick your ds up and bring him home with her if you are late or delayed - I would not mind paying or arranging playdates where you take her dcs in exchange that sort of thing. Alternatively, set up in advance with the nursery that you can call in late and one of the girls to stay late to wait for you (for a fee, of course).

It does sound like more money you have to shell out or potentially lose in reduced hours. But maybe the ability to work from home and the ability to do work on the tube (without having to worry about ds) will make up for it.

I do think it is worth the extra effort IMO. For all the reasons stated here. Also, what if the tube is up the spout (very common occurence), you don't want to be stuck with a grumpy hungry/tired ds on a tube whilst trying to find alternative transport. Also, if you can't get into to work for whatever reason (eg snowed in), it is great to be able to drop ds off at nursery and then work from home.

Those are all excellent points blueshoes. I think I will look into CMs near home and near work and do timings.

I tend to work through my lunch hour anyway as I only work 4 days. But I guess I could make that official