what would you do?

[phraedd]

My last au pair (who was also my first) was fantastic.

She was amazing with the children and alsways tidied after herself. She also helped a bit with housework.

My new au pair (who arrived yesterday) can't speak very much english at all. One of the mums at schoolis spanishand knew "a girl" who wanted to come here to learn english. I told the mum that that would be great but her english had to be good enough that she could communicate enough so that if one of my children had an accident, she could make herself understood.

Now that she has moved in, i think that she would really struggle to do this.

I don't feel comfortable leaving her int he house by herself, let alone with my 3 children (9,7 and 4.)

Am i being too harsh? Would you wait a few more days or would you as her to move in with her friend? The mum at school (friend of my au pair) made it very clear that oif the language was a problem then she would take the au pair in.

She can't communicate with the children. Today, the youngest one asked her 3 times if she could help him with something and she just smiled at him

I start a new job next week which means that she would be picking up from school and nursery and having the children for the afternoon but the idea of that is making me feel very nervous. all the "what ifs" keep springing into my head.

(sorry that was a bit long wasn't it?)

Go with your gut feeling. I think you need to find someone who can speak English.

Is she being a bit shy? Perhaps she can understand, but isn't confident enough to speak yet? I'm sure she's going to learn quickly..... [grasps around for ideas!]

Have to say I wouldn't feel confident leaving children of those ages with someone who doesn't speak much English though. When my ap started (first and only so far), she spoke fairly good English, just wanted to perfect and expand vocab, but also had no sole charge, so I wasn't too worried anyway.

I'm with NAB on this. Sorry.

I personally think you're putting your children in a difficult situation by leaving them with her. As you said, what if there's an accident. Not only that, surely you want someone who can converse with the children and not just smile at them.

Sally

I think you need an au pair who speaks English. You should speak your friend sooner rather than later.

But, I also have to say that I think you have been a tad neglectful in your employer responsibilities by not checking her language skills before she arrived.

I recently hired a Polish nanny, but I would not have hired her without speaking to her on the phone to assess whether we could communicate effectively. There were bits of the conversation I knew she didn't understand and figured it would be better in person. But, I was generally able to communicate on the phone. She has been with us for a couple of months now and communication is fine.

Communication in English is vital for anyone who does the school run. If one of your DC's teachers pulls her aside at drop off will she be able to relay the conversation to you? If not, I'd say she shouldn't really be doing the school run.

I would get rid of her, you need to put your children first and not the au pair.

She must understand that if she can't communicate with the children then she can not look after them and if this has been part of the agreement from the beginning then she has broken that contract.

If your friend has said that she will take the au pair in then I don't know what you are worried about, because you won't be kicking her out onto the street.

I dont understand why someone who hire a person who cant speak basic english, esp when leaving them alone with your children?

as athene said,why didnt you speak/check she had a basic grasp of english?

Def get rid,you would never forgive yourself if something happened to the children, and she couldnt sort out a doctor/ambulance etc

I didn't check her level of english because when i spoke to her friend, i made it clear to her that i was happy to have the spanish au pair on the understanding that her english was good enough that she could communicate with us if there was a problem. The mum from school said that she understood.

The au pairs email that she sent were written in reasonably good english so again i felt reassured (wrongly as it turns out!)

I actually called the mum from school last night and told her it wasn't working due to the au pairs poor english so the au pair is getting her stuff together now and will be leaving shortly.

My husband thinks that I'm being unfair to the au pair but I am pleased that you all agree withme - it makes me feel less guilty about asking her to leave within 24 hours of her being here

I also said to my husband that we were wrong not to speak to her on the telephone as that is what we did with our last au pair. I think i just left it to the mum from school to tell me if the communication would be a problem. I was so wrong on that level!

Don't be too hard on yourself. Chalk it up to a lesson learned. And, really, it hasn't been disasterous. She has a place to go.

The problem now is that you have to know hit the trail full speed ahead search for a replacement. So, really, you are the one who is suffereing. My sympathies!

Generally I hire through the follwoing process:

1 place add
2 e-mail questionnaire back and forth a few times
3 chat on messenger (or some other online chat facility)
4 Speak on the phone
5 check references
6 offer job
7 write contract

You are still quite new to the au pair / nanny employer thing. I have been doing this for 4 years. And I was not very knowledgable on the subject 4 years ago.

Live and learn. It gets easier.