Childminder needs urgent advice on how to deal with 1 year old with separation anxiety

[tetti]

I have just started to look after a little boy who does nothing but cry,from the minute he gets here,to the time he laves 10 hours later!!!!
I have tried everything in the book,soothe him,cuddle him,even showing him photos and vidoes of his mum and dad!(yeah,strange I know,but desperate situations require desperate measures!)

Apparently he does cry alot at home as well.
His parents admitted to pandering to his every whim,as soon as he cries they pick him up,and he has no routine whatsoever.

He sleeps about 10 mins at a time,never any longer than that,so in a whole day,he gets about half an hour of sleep,not enough by far!
Again,have tried everything to get him to sleep,but he won't.

If I take him out he won't sleep either,but he'll be quiet.As soon as we get to my house though,he kicks off again and starts crying.
I just can't be walking 10 hrs a day,so what can I do?

It affects the other kids I care for as they have to hear this child's earpiercing screams all day,my ears are actually hurting,so one can just imagine what it does to them.

There must be something that I can do,I do not want to give the parents notice just because their little boy won't settle.
There must be a way to stop him crying,it can't be good for him either,poor little one.

Please,any tips would be helpful,I'm really at my wits end here!!!!!

How old is he?

Has his mum seen the HV about the crying a lot at home?

Well it's not just a problem at yours, this child clearly need some help, poor love.

Parents need to stop running to him everytime he cries, that's one certain thing that's needed (had a problem with mindee but once everyone stopped rushing to her every need, she was MUCH happier )

Does mindee have sleep problems at home? If so, this definitely needs sorting. Mindee may be crying at times through overtiredness and yet isn't able to get himself to sleep?

You really have my sympathy, hard to know what to suggest other than the parents getting some outside help and you all working together on it.

Good luck

Really feel for you tetti

No real advice except to say I mind a LO (13 months) and he crys all day, every day regardless of what I do. I've had him since September and it's his parents my thread from yesterday is about

He also only stops crying when we are out and about but on the two days I have him, I can't attend toddler gorups or the like because he gets on people's nerves

The only thing I can say to you is set yourself a time limit for him to settle and stick to it - don't allow it to continue like I have as it gets harder and harder to give notice as the parents seem to think you somehow cope with it better than they do and are therefore happy to get on with it

Sorry as that probably isn't what you want to hear but I will never go there again, if they can't settle they have to move on otherwise you dread their arrival and no one benefits

Do you have him every day or is he part time?

Sometimes the arrangement is just not right for the child and you have to admit that and just let him go. If he's finding it so upsetting then it's not fair on him, you or the parents or other children in your care to keep him coming back. It's not your fault.

I once looked after a child that age who would howl and scream all day, eventually, the only way I stopped it was to dance and sing the songs from 'Lion King' to him. I found really silly and over-the-top performing made him laugh and forget to cry.

If absolutely nothing works, it's really not fair on the little boy to stay miserable and the parents have to think of another arrangement for him (easier said than done I know!)

erm this comment made me rather worried:

"His parents admitted to pandering to his every whim,as soon as he cries they pick him up"

there's nothing wrong with picking up a child who is crying
phrases like "pandering to his every whim" are very judgy towards the parents and imply that you feel this is their fault

he is obviously a little boy who is very attached to his parents (well done them, for doing a good job, this is a good thing) and is finding the separation from them very hard
all very normal

have you tried using a sling with him? might he find it comforting to be held / carried, and you could get on with whatever you are doing with the other children, as your hands would be free?

I hate to tell you this but i looked after a baby/little boy for 2.5 years who cried almost every day that he came.

He missed his mummy soooo much that no matter what i did he was always miserable. Mum eventually decided to give up work to look after him herself.

I still bump into them on occasion and he is still very much a mummys boy (not meant in an offensive way)

I wouldn't persevere with a child like that again tbh,my own dc were driven mad by the constant screaming and crying

I'm confused. I do understand what people are saying about missing parents etc. but I thought the child also does this at home?