Childminder worries

[Danini]

Hi,

I am overly worried about child abuse since I had a friend growing up that was sexually abused by her stepfather (he was sentenced but this made an impact on me).

I would like for my DD, 3 y/o to start with a childminder now that we move house & area, but I can't get over the fact that there always will be a husband and sometimes also a teenage son around. I even think to myself that the childminder has the opportunity to take pictures and sell online and no one would stop her.

I understand logically that this is over the top - 99.9% of childminders will be normal people - and I know that these are trust issues I need to work with myself, but I wanted to get insight into how others have selected their childminders and red flags to look out for. Any thoughts?

I have no experience of abuse but even so it did cross my mind when I was in the process of lining up childcare for my DD. I'm saying that so that you realise it's ok and rational to have this consideration, although it has to be said that I'm an over-thinker so not everyone will.

I met with three childminders, one of whom I ruled out because she had a teenage son who was always around and 'sometimes helped out' and when I met him I didn't feel positive so that was that.

My DD went to a childminder whose husband went out to an office job but might be around at times if he was working at home or whatever. I met the husband and I also met one of the teenage daughters and just went on my gut feeling that all was well. It helped that this childminder had a very established setting and a very good reputation in the village.

I'd try to find a childminder on recommendation if you can. If you go to the local playgroup you can chat about it there.

Make sure that when you have initial meetings it is in their home so you get a feel for what it's like. It's perfectly reasonable to ask who else your child might encounter while they're there. If you don't feel happy don't go with it.

You might like to give a nursery a second consideration if there's a good one near you.

Would you consider a school nursery instead? More people around compared to a childmimders.

I wouldn’t use a childminder for this reason. There was a thread on here just last night about a little boy sexually assaulted by his childminder’s 7 year old son. Did you see it? The thread has since been removed. I would always choose a reputable nursery instead

Ask if it's possible to do a second visit when children are present (may not due to safeguarding) see how the children react to them. Our their long term families and children who have grown up there (I have 12 year old and siblings) references from families
Ofsted check everyone in the house is suitable so there will be no history.
Any setting or hobby has a risk but family are much more risky statistically

Honestly, there will always be risk when you leave your child in the care of others. Some of the worst cases of abuse have happened in bigger settings which have multiple staff. Have a look round, meet childminders and ask for references. All household members over the age of 16 have to have a clear DBS and also a suitability check by Ofsted. When you use the services of a childminder it’s generally with the understanding that their family might be around at various times of the day as it’s their home.