Nursery v Childminder

[Dinkstwinks]

We currently live with my immunosuppressed Mum. My 15 month old has been in nursery for almost 4 months and has brought home HFM, covid, slapped cheek and constant stream of other viruses which my Mum inevitability catches. I'm always so worried when he brings home an illness (noro hospitalised her in December), I'm considering switching to a childminder who has said that she rarely has illness in her setting. Is it worth the switch or am I just delaying the inevitable onslaught of illness when he re-enters a nursery / pre school setting when he's around 3? We're so torn.

Well, its such a personal choice. I'm a cm and also have very little illness here. Even if he still got ill at 3 years old, you'd be giving your mum 2 years respite wouldn't you?

I think it's worth serious consideration as long as you're living with your mum. Being in a nursery means that there is constant risk of him bringing home infections. The risk would be reduced (but not eliminated) if he was with a childminder and fewer children. Yes the risk would increase again if or when he goes back to nursery/pre school in a couple of years but you can address that issue when it arises and by then your circumstances may be different..Reducing the risk would reduce stress and worry for your mum.

Completely sympathise with you and your poor mum, we had the exact same when DD was the same age and started nursery. I usually have a pretty robust constitution but I got nearly everything going, which was fabulous. I would say though that by around 6mos in things settled, and after about 12mos the only thing of note she brought home was chickenpox. With that nursery advised us each time there was a case in her room and it was up to us whether we continued to send her. She’s been in a class of 24 at preschool since September and she’s had nothing worse than a cold. The cycle has begun again with 14 month old DS, but you can tell he’s been exposed to his germy older sister as he’s not had as rough a ride!

From my (completely anecdotal) experience you’re probably near the end of the worst of it, and I would be inclined to persevere if you otherwise like the setting, DS seems happy and the hours/location work for you. A cm might reduce the chance of him picking stuff up but it won’t remove the risk completely, particularly if there are a number of school age kids there. And ultimately that’s what it would take for me to change his setting if he was otherwise content.

I've had children who were taken out of nurseries for the same reasons. I'm strict on illnesses and parents know this on signing

The first 6 months are the worst. I’d keep going for another couple of months.

Thanks for your helpful replies - out of interest, did the 6 month period include winter?

DD started 04 July 2021 and was a COVID baby so her immune system probably wasn’t fabulous anyway. The worst period was definitely the first three months in hindsight, we ran the gauntlet of D&V, scarlet fever and slapped cheek, but to fair I’m 99% sure she got the latter off a neighbour during a playdate. Same kid was minded by grandparents so can’t blame childcare for it!

Absolute horseraddish if she says no illnesses. Children, are children, they get sick.

Unfortunately, looks like mum needs more care than child.

My kids still get sick at the cm.
but do seem to get less sick than friends kids at nursery…

She didn't say no illness, she said rarely.

I have the same here, last time I had a child off ill was April and that was for a 'bad night's sleep' mum thought he was coming down with something.

The previous actual illness where it was passed around was December, a high temperature & cough. I look after 6 under 4s, all part time.

2 20 month olds 2 4 year olds..both 4 year olds in 100%, one baby off 2 days other 4....since January

Will you still be living with your mum for pre-school/school? That night her make a difference. But also, what does your mum want? I understand she's immunosuppressed and it can be scary (I am too) but I guess she might have a preference herself or be happy to take the risk.

Definitely after the first few months, DS barely had a day off in three years of nursery and he's had one day off from school this year.

@mynameiscalypso Possibly, but hopefully in a larger house than we currently have which would at least allow us to keep away from each other more, so it might be worth delaying the inevitable from that perspective. I think Mum just wants the best for our son, as do we all, but hard to say at this point whether that's the CM or nursery!