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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Putting DDs with seperate childminders?Need to decide by tomorrow!!

28 replies

ess · 10/04/2008 21:55

DD1 has been with her childminder very happily for the last 3 years. I'm on maternity leave with DD2 (6mo) and am returning to work in August.

When I picked DD up from childminders yesterday (she goes 1 day a week to keep up contact) she announced she could no longer look after both DDs when I returned to work for financial reasons. Her husband is going to be off work after a heart operation and she needs to fill 2 spaces full-time.

I was upset to lose her but can see why she's done this. She's recommended a friend of hers who also childminds and DD knows well too. I've just called her and she said she'd love to have DD but wouldn't be able to have DD2. She has 2 girls aged 2 and said she likes doing lots with them and having a baby would nake it difficult.

My quandry is this....do I split the girls up or look for another childminder who will be willing to have them both?

I'm shorthaul cabin crew and my hours are unsocable to say the least. I work 21 days on 7 off and my shifts can change within only a few hours notice. She sounded lovely on the phone (I'm meeting her tomorrow) just a bit worried about splitting them up.

DD1 goes to pre-school 3 afternoons a week so she would only be going there mornings (maybe the odd hour afterwards).

I need to let her know tomorrow as she has another lady wanting to use her too.

My head says put DD1 there and look elsewhere for DD2. DD knows this lady and her other mindees well and has been to her house on many occassions. My main worry is her getting upset at being seperated from her sister.

I'd really appreciate your thoughts. Thanks.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BoysAreLikeDogs · 10/04/2008 21:58

Ess I would be inclined to say find a CM who can take both girls, for simplicity's sake.

Good luck

mumlove · 10/04/2008 22:01

I would also say keep the girls together.

Original poster

ess · 10/04/2008 22:02

I'm really umming and aarghing about this. Not helped by the fact I have to let her know tomorrow. She is willing to wait until August for DD1 and I'll only pay her for the hours she's actually there. My last childminder I paid her an average of 90 hours per month regardless of what I worked. I'm going to find it really hard to find someone who'll accept my working pattern and have a vacancy for 2. Don't know.

OP posts:

LittleBella · 10/04/2008 22:02

I would look for a childminder who can take both girls. For your sake and their's. I think you're right to be worried about them being separated from each other, I know the fact that they're together makes mine less likely to complain about going to a CM.

KatyMac · 10/04/2008 22:03

Where ar you - can we find you a MN minder?

Original poster

ess · 10/04/2008 22:04

Yes I can see both sides too.However DD1 will be starting school next year so they'll be seperated for the days then anyway. Bugger, why did this have to happen now.

OP posts:

Original poster

ess · 10/04/2008 22:04

I'm in Woking (Old Woking).

OP posts:

Original poster

ess · 10/04/2008 22:18

Just talked to DH who hasn't really helped. He seems to think it's fine they're seperated and logistically wouldn't be difficult. To be honest I'm a bit worried about them both being with a childminder I really wouldn't know about.

OP posts:

Original poster

ess · 10/04/2008 22:35

Anyone still here?

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WallOfSilence · 10/04/2008 22:41

Don't seperate them.

I had ds with a c/minder & dd was at school & then an after schools club.

It was horrible

They were in 2 diff places, I had 2 diff sets of rules & 2 diff bills to pay.. they were apart & the fought like cat & dog when they saw each other.

Think of the summer holidays in the longer days when they will be apart from each other.

This is why I wanted my two together.

My minder takes ds to p'group & picks him up, they get dd from school & they do lovely things together.. she is lovely, I am so lucky! This is a new minder I have as the one before went a bit funny, she didn't want dd, just ds.

I can't believe the other minder said a baby would make things difficult...it's her job to childmind.... she gets paid for it. I suppose it's up to her whether she takes on a baby or not though..

Don't seperate them.. at least they will have each other on the days you & dh are at work, they won't be apart from one and other as well as mum & dad.

Original poster

ess · 10/04/2008 22:53

This is my gut feeling too. She's advertised as having 2 vacancies for ages 0-8?? Might take both DDs along tomorrow and hope that she's cute while she's there. My old childminder did say this lady would have them both and that was only yesterday. Think I'll see her and have a chat, say I would love to use her but don't want the girls seperated. Maybe she'll change her mind. Thanks .

OP posts:

wohmum · 10/04/2008 22:57

I'm not so sure about all the calls to keep them together - I've got 2 boys (who are older so may change things) but they are at seperate childminders and apart from the logoistics, which aren;t that bad I think its a GOOD THING as it gives them time apart from each other ( the 4 yr old knows how to wind his big brother up!) plus it gives them different friends and experiences.

I'd go with this one as DD1 knows her and will be happy - and tbh the baby will be fine with anyone ( as long you you are hapy with her care etc ) Things may change later as baby gets bigger and she may decide to take both when she is walking.

I agree you may find it tough to get the cover for your shifts for 2 !

wohmum · 10/04/2008 23:00

but from the Cm's point of view if you have 3 or 4 2-3 yr olds you can do more with them and be just focussed on them without having your attention split to a baby too - and if she can afford not to take a baby and maybe hold out for another similar age then I don;t blame her , I would.

sounds like she may change her mind anyway - esp if DD2 being cute!

CarGirl · 10/04/2008 23:01

Beg her to take on both, see if financial rumuneration would work?

Can you look further afield for a CM? I live near J11 of M25 and can ask around here or would that be too far?

WallOfSilence · 10/04/2008 23:04

Well I guess it depends on the hours worked. I work until 5.30pm so not home until 6pm & I just think that was too long away from each other.

Mine are 6 & 3 & very close.

I don't think the c/minder should advertise 2 spaces from 0-8 if she didn't want to fill them!! Or if she hasn't the space why is she advertising?

I guess part of my situation was guilt though I hated them being away from me for that long, never mind each other. The c/minder tells me they get on great & at least this way they are chilled together rather than me picking them up at diff places at 6, them seeing each other for the first time that day & going crazy!! It works for me.

I deffo would encourage you to keep them together, but everyone's situation is different, this just works better for me.

fwiw when mine were with 2 diff people when one went on a trip & the other didn't it was awful, or when the c/minder bought ds something & as dd wasn't with her, she didn't get anything.. I know this happens in life, but it just wasn't necessary.

Good Luck with it all

Original poster

ess · 10/04/2008 23:12

Thanks all. Definately going to take both girls and hope they're on their best behaviour! Am pretty sure I don't want them seperated now. One of the main reasons we had DD2 was as a companion for her sister. It would be a bit hypocritical of me to split them up now. Cargirl, whereabouts are you exactly?

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IdrisTheDragon · 10/04/2008 23:14

I'd say trying to keep them together if possible from my experience with DS and DD. They were in a nursery when I first went back to work (DS was 2.8 and DD was 10 months) and he didn't like her being in a different room then.

After a couple of months I was able to move them to a childminder and it was much nicer them being together.

Hope it all works out in the end.

Original poster

ess · 10/04/2008 23:18

Night all and thanks for your advice. I may be on here again tomorrow asking for a childminder! xx

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cat64 · 10/04/2008 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

badgerhead · 11/04/2008 06:53

The cm might be advertising 2 spaces 0-8, but we are only allowed 3 children under 5 & then a further 3 5-8 year olds. So it could be that she has a vacancy in each age range, therefore be unable to have both of your dd's.

mumlove · 11/04/2008 08:31

You could ask the cm if she could get a variation to keep siblings together, as your older 1 will also be at preschool some of the time.

Original poster

ess · 11/04/2008 12:40

Blimey, my old childminder- if we had continued with her- would have had 7 children under 4. Is that allowed?

OP posts:

KatyMac · 11/04/2008 12:49

Unless she has an assistant 6 under 8 is the maximum (that's at a time - so 8 children over a week is fine as long as it is less than 6 at a time)

narkymum · 11/04/2008 14:11

hi i am a cm in Guildford could you take cm from there as i know lovely cm with vacancies for you

CarGirl · 11/04/2008 15:08

I live in Addlestone so am assuming it's sort of on the way to work?

How did you get on today, would you like me to ask around? Havve you looked on the Surreycouncil website thingy?

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