Childminder Lying?

[Smil95]

Hi everyone! I am looking to get advice on something about my toddlers childminder. My son caught hand foot and mouth disease and I happen to actually know one of the mums that also sends her child with the same childminder. She disclosed to me that her son also has the disease and has reported it. When I notified my childminder she said there are no other cases and she doesn't know why he caught it. (She does not know me and the other mum talk to each other).

When I asked my friend again whether she reported it, she even showed me the message. I got upset and felt lied to. I'm not sure whether I should confront her about it. I want her to know that I know she lied but I don't want to destroy our relationship with her and feel worried to send my son there (in case she treats him differently because of our confrontation) . Any advise would be appreciated.

if your son is happy, I would carry on as before and not mention it, but be a bit wary of anything she tells you in the future

Tbh that would have me looking for another CM.

Shes outright lied to you. What else has she lied about, or would be prepared to lie about?

Yeah I'm quite relaxed but I'd not be happy about the lie, purely because it would make me wonder what else she was prepared to lie about.

We had issues with our CM and illnesses etc and along with other reasons, we removed our child and put him in nursery, where he did a lot better.

Why would you send your child to someone you don't trust?

That's an odd thing to lie about. There's no exclusion period so as long as the child is well enough (and the childminder doesn't have a policy stating otherwise) they can still go to school/ childcare. To be honest I think this would make me wonder what else she might lie about.

Mmm agree this is really not on and it makes you question her.
I think I'd have to ask her why she told me there was no reports when such and such had reported her child had it.
She'll probably try to explain it away 'oh I forgot' or something

Just because your friend sent a message doesn't always mean the childminder recieved it.

Regardless, if you can't just ask her outright then you have the wrong childcare and need to move your child.

That's a really weird thing for her to lie about. I can't work out what she would gain by lying? Also surely she knew parents would talk to each other?

@evencloser I was just trying to think of a reason why she might have denied it 🤷🏼‍♀️ just musing.

It really makes no difference at all, if OP feels she can't speak to her childminder then she has the wrong childcare and needs to leave. A childminder who isn't approachable isn't the right one.

Hi all, thanks for your replies. I only know she received the message because my friend showed me that she responded to her with the Hand foot and mouth NHS advise. Just to clarify, i don't have any other issues with her and my son is happy there, which is why i don't want to compromise our relationship, but yet it felt strange when i found out that she lied.

She may have been trying to protect the other child's confidentiality.

I know when GDPR came in a few years ago a lot of childminders were really spooked about confidentiality and possible penalties for wrongly sharing personal information.

The lie would bother me. It could be that the childminder keeps everything about other children confidential but in childcare settings I’ve used before, signs have been up to warn other parents what to look out for.

HFM is incredibly contagious and for a ridiculously long time. There isn’t an exclusion period for it and it’s very difficult to avoid if your child mingles with others.

Is it possible that by confirming a child had it you would know which child and therefore she believes she would be in breach of confidentiality?

Does seem Weird she didn't let you and others know there was a case

She could have said yes there was but they are /were absent till
Not contagious