CM is retiring - What you would do?

[ChildcarePanicStations]

Name change but my brain is scrambled so please try and help me.

Sorry for the essay
Our utterly AMAZING CM just told us she’s retiring in a few months - coinciding with my current mat leave ending.
Its a total shock (to all the parents). I thought she was early to mid 50s … she is 69!?!??

I had wistful visions of both my kids going to her and once in school then she’d do wrap around care as she started winding down.

I have a VERY demanding job and am the high earner so cannot afford to fuck it up when I go back.
My husband has a job which he claims is demanding 😅 and works fully remotely but with random travel. It’s random because I normally get 1-5 days notice. Somehow between us we manage 8-9am drop offs and 6pm picks up no problem for oldest.

My oldest will be a few weeks off 3 and youngest just about 1

My available options I can see are:

-Find a nanny

-Find another CM for both or just the youngest

-A Full time nursery. (I don’t not want this for youngest but oldest will be 3 so would be good for them)

-Nursery attached to school oldest will eventually go to (means fewer changes but the hours are 8.30-3.30 so will need wrap around)

Some sort of combo of the above…?

Win the lottery and quit my shitty job and play with my lovely kids all day 🥳🥳🥳

I’d love advice /experiences / any help I can get beyond my DHs fantastic contribution which was “ it will all be fine” 😒👍

Personally, I'd find another CM. I really don't like nurseries - I preferred my children to be in a home/family setting if they couldn't be with me. I also found CMs more flexible than I think nurseries are (from hearsay).

What is your husbands work set up - does he have an office that he can be totally away from the younger one from? If he is working in the house I would try and find another childminder. A couple of my friends have tried to have a nanny in the house while WFH and it didnt work out at all, the kids knew they were there.

Can the older one go to a preschool setting for a few sessions a week?

CM for the youngest, eldest to the school nursery with the CM to do wrap around. Or at least that would be my preference if you can find another really good childminder!

This is such a good point…!
thank you!!!!!

I can/will WFH 2 days a week too. I’m more flexible but have a lot of conf calls so could be a problem.
my DH would straight up just lose his mind…😅

Nanny is def off the table for that reason I think.
I’m pleased though because I thought it was the “best choice” but have scores of anecdotal horror stories about Nannies and I don’t want the extra paperwork of being an employer!

A nanny could be a really good solution if it's financially feasible and your husband has a garden office or something that's sufficiently separate from the main living areas of the house.

Otherwise, either full time nursery for both or CM for youngest and school nursery + CM for wraparound for oldest. I'd make the choice by looking at what's available locally – a good nursery is better than a bad childminder and vice versa.

I agree.

My concern is trying to find a CM who will take two although coming up to September there must be a few about.

but I think this should be my “first choice option”

thank you this is already helping me clarify my panicked thoughts 😅

Well, sounds like you just carry on as if nothing has happened, go back to work, then when there’s no childcare you just turn in astonishment to your WFH husband and say ‘but you said it would all be fine?! So I assumed you had it alllll under control!’

and off you trot to work.

Find another CM for both or just the youngest

What would you do with the 2 year old?

If a childminder works for you, I’d probably try to find another one for both children. Somewhere that would do wraparound for them when they start school.

I would be quick about it though-childcare settings and childminders are shutting up shop left right and centre round here and the waiting lists for those remaining seem to be staggering.

It would be worth asking your current CM if she knows/can recommend another CM who may have spaces. Do this quickly before her other families nab them!

Well i was thinking its going to be hard to find a place for 2 children.
So the older one could go to either FT nursery or nursery near the school and then wrap around BUT theyd be under5 so finding a CM to do wraparound will be hard /unlikely

The high demand short supply is my fear 🙈🙈🙈

This is a good point i might ask her tonight at pick up.

I just feel sick about it.
My DM is in my DHs camp but they are both totally oblivious to the reality. It gives me the rage slightly / a lot.

Ah, I see what you mean.

As a KS1 teacher, very few of the nearby nurseries even do wraparound care for our school-aged pupils and the ones not collected by family members are collected by childminders.

I think I would be on the phone to local providers today finding out what spaces are out there!

I was a cm … I would start looking at cm’ like you say this is the time of year vaccancies are coming up .

definitely start now if you want 2 places ..

Just out of interest, if you said 'okay, can you sort it then - btw I won't be able to take any time off if it's not sorted' to your husband, what would his reaction be??

Thanks all...I'm bowing out but this is helpful

I think my strategy is going to be "option creation" for the next few weeks followed by some decisions

I going for CM x 2 if that doesnt pan out, separate CMs, followed by CM and nursery

Re : the "your husband" comments.
We dont live in a perfect world... he has (some!) redeeming qualities.

I am much more concerned with my childrens welfare and stability of care than i am with point scoring to underline what he and i both already know... .
While i am more than happy to use natural consequences to prove my point / make him feel like shit...😁 I try and save it for things that only fuck with things relating to him/me because I'm not a monster

I hope you find someone.

Childminders are in high demand at the moment.

One tip as a former childminder, get in touch with your local authority early years team, as to be put through to who oversee childminders, and ask them if there are any childminders in your area currently in the pre-registration stage! Always worth an ask. When I first registered this is how my first minding family found me. 🙂

Asking your current childminder is a good idea too.

I agree with this , as cm some I would recommend some I wouldn’t - some simply because the type of childminder and parents really don’t match

Update: I have found THREE! CMs with nice reviews on childcare.co.uk
Who have availability for 2 children!?!?

going to visit the first one this weekend

she is literally 500m from our house so saying a little prayer tonight that she is lovely.

thank you to everyone for helping calm me I feel much more optimistic now 💭